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Ask HN: Rest Doesn't Help with Burnout

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Re: Ask HN: Rest Doesn't Help with Burnout

#32
I think it's much more common than you think - especially since Covid. You're definitely not alone - I can certainly relate to some aspects, more than I would like.

I have some observations:

- you indicate in the comments that you expected more from sobriety. We all do - I was in a similar situation as you. Think of it as a building block - being sober, in itself is not a sufficient condition, but it's definitely a necessary one. And frankly, congratulations to you - it's already a huge achievement.

- why did you move to a country where you don't speak the language ?

- It seems to me, that you aim to do something meaningful, work with people etc. Well, as with alcohol, you need to answer yourself honestly some questions - one of which is why do you stay at this job ? It doesn't seem like there is a path to making friends there (team remote) and it's not interesting.

Re: Ask HN: Rest Doesn't Help with Burnout

#34
Do you feel that if someone really knew you, they wouldn't like you? Do you feel like you are different? Have you felt that there is definitely something wrong with you your whole life?

If those resonate with you, check out Childhood Emotional Neglect. There's a really good book called "Running on Empty: Overcoming your Childhood Emotional Neglect".

If you're moving countries that means you probably don't have strong roots or connections with people, and if you're seeking chemical escape, then you probably have a lot of things you are escaping from and not a lot of good things that give you good feelings.

The bad news is that if my questions hit, you're probably gonna need to seek out professional help.

The really bad news is that it's going to get worse before it gets better. It sounds like you can barely sustain work, and clawing out of an emotional hole takes work and takes choosing more pain, when you're already in pain.

Re: Ask HN: Rest Doesn't Help with Burnout

#35
post #27

I could relate at multiple levels. I suffered from series of burnout, bordering depression, for the longest of time without even realizing I'm going through one. When I lost the will to work, I attributed it to the work isn't interesting and took on more side projects to "keep it interesting". When that didn't work, I thought I just lost it and this is how long it's supposed to last. I did every commonly suggested th…

Your words are like an epiphany.

Re: Ask HN: Rest Doesn't Help with Burnout

#36

If you turned to alcohol in the first place, it pretty much means you don't have the mental machinery in your personality to deal with adversity, which is pretty much the root cause of your (and many other people's) problems. General happiness and fulfilment in life doesn't come from comfort, it comes from being able to being able to deal with problems effectively instead of stressing out about them or avoiding them.…

This gives me big yikes. There may not be anything wrong with their thinking, or a defect in their “mental machinery” or personality. Humans are more complex than that. It’s completely reductive of the value people have.
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