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How to reduce stress and overcome anxiety as a software developer

andreizgirvaci.com

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Re: How to reduce stress and overcome anxiety as a software developer

#31

Post by haswell »

glitchc wrote: post #24
thenerdhead wrote: post #13

You have to fill up your cup before you can fill others. Perfectionists are well known to hardly ask for help and in life that's the catalyst for being able to make more time for yourself. Say no to more things. Spend more time on finding out more about yourself. Start to understand your emotions around the constant trauma you're living through and have lived through. You don't need to pay somebody $150 for this advi…

Seconding "The Body Keeps the Score" as a great resource. It's written in a plain, non-condescending tone and carries valuable insights about self-harming behaviour.

Depending on where one is in their journey, I thought I should mention that this is a great book, but also might not be step 1 if dealing with acute symptoms or struggling not to feel overwhelmed.

I picked up this book around the same time I started seeing a therapist for what I now understand was complex childhood trauma, and I couldn’t manage the content at the time. I dislike the term “triggered” to describe my experience, but the book was too much to handle until I had some more skills under my belt.

Coming back to it later was an enlightening experience.

By all means start reading this book. If you hit a wall, that’s an important signal and I’d consider seeing a therapist.

YMMV, etc.

Re: How to reduce stress and overcome anxiety as a software developer

#33

Post by mkl95 »

My biggest pet peeve in the industry is sociopathic - narcissistic behavior. I have been in the industry for the better part of the last decade and 15-20% of the people I have worked with had some of those traits. Once you interact with middle to upper management you start to notice more and more people have several personalities and narratives ready to be swapped any time.

Re: How to reduce stress and overcome anxiety as a software developer

#34

Post by thr0waway001 »

This job is so stressful that even sleep does not feel like rest. When you cannot figure out how to do something it just eats at you and you can never let it go. And if you never figure it out your soul can never rest.

Sometimes death feels like it would be the ultimate and most restful nap.

Re: How to reduce stress and overcome anxiety as a software developer

#36

Post by brailsafe »

boredemployee wrote: post #3

As a junior, I started out loving my job. Then the bad decisions from management started and I started to love my job less, I still woke up with some excitement. 2 and a half years later: today what I do has more to do with pressure and deadlines than with learning and/or doing the right thing. Today, I find it unsustainable to work 8 hours a day, I've come to hate what I do, I can't imagine looking for another job d…

I just got laid off (8 years into "career" or whatever) after months of my manager basically making me dread waking up, going to such lengths as to say I was refusing work when I was trying to manage the workload more sensibly and create new tickets for issues that were discovered during the sprint so that they could be dealt with when my priorities were taken care of. Some managers are garbage.

Re: How to reduce stress and overcome anxiety as a software developer

#37

Post by snarf21 »

boredemployee wrote: post #3

As a junior, I started out loving my job. Then the bad decisions from management started and I started to love my job less, I still woke up with some excitement. 2 and a half years later: today what I do has more to do with pressure and deadlines than with learning and/or doing the right thing. Today, I find it unsustainable to work 8 hours a day, I've come to hate what I do, I can't imagine looking for another job d…

Most of us old timers have been there, done that. At some level, it never changes.

It is VERY difficult for work to provide your true meaning in life. 95% of software is personal preference. Most code will be thrown away when priorities change. Do the best you can and learn when you can. Management will always make poor decisions and are usually not interested in unfortunate truths. Work should only be what is required to gain money to pay for living.

The change has to be in you. Finding a hobby or raison dêtre makes waking up easy. Having something to look forward to is key. Once work is something to just finish changes everything. Respect your "you" time and turn off all notifications from work you can. Find something that does bring you joy and do that until it doesn't. Then search for a new thing. Too often we expect a brutal competitive job to also provide us peace and tranquility. They are best kept separated in my experience.

Re: How to reduce stress and overcome anxiety as a software developer

#38

Post by JustSomeNobody »

boredemployee wrote: post #3

As a junior, I started out loving my job. Then the bad decisions from management started and I started to love my job less, I still woke up with some excitement. 2 and a half years later: today what I do has more to do with pressure and deadlines than with learning and/or doing the right thing. Today, I find it unsustainable to work 8 hours a day, I've come to hate what I do, I can't imagine looking for another job d…

> ... and/or doing the right thing.

As long as it is ethical, doing the "right thing" is doing what you're paid to do. If that means, for example, ship code that you might not like or think is not perfect, that's fine. It's not your code.

Don't worry, if you're still coding at 50, you'll have learned that you are not your job. As Elsa says, Let it go.

Re: How to reduce stress and overcome anxiety as a software developer

#40

Post by rob2312 »

I've been experiencing similar things recently and have also been making a couple of changes to try and help. Removing caffeine/alcohol has been a huge one for me -- initially I found it very difficult to not drink, because I thought that drinking always leads to 'fun'. After stopping, I tried a couple of times again to drink (a couple of glasses and even one total binge session). I've noticed that I just don't enjoy the feeling anymore, and the hangover effects are just not worth what little gain I now get from it. It was journaling that helped me uncover that -- I could track how I felt after days with caffeine, days after drinking, and then the answer became pretty clear to me. Maybe i'll enjoy drinking again soon, but right now I'm content to skip it.

One thing I still struggle with is being able to give myself downtime after work. I always feel the need to be progressing with something -- completing more video games, reading more books, or getting stronger at the gym. I'm not sure how best to deal with that feeling.

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