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Is it my fault if you can't handle the truth? (2019)

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Re: Is it my fault if you can't handle the truth? (2019)

#31

Post by lcnPylGDnU4H9OF »

yarg wrote: post #22
geraneum wrote: post #4

This reminds me of: “People who are brutally honest get more satisfaction out of the brutality than out of the honesty.” Richard J. Needham

I think that there's the need to a counterpoint to the world that says "you're beautiful, you're smart, you're perfect just the way you are.". A lot of the time the modern world tells us that feelings are more important than objective reality. It's bullshit.

I’ve known a handful of people I would layman-diagnose as having Narcissistic Personality Disorder and this cannot ring more true. Absolutely, one should always be willing to see oneself in a critical light.

I see so much of that behavior everywhere I look nowadays. It does make me wonder how much of that is a projection but I doubt it’s only a projection.

Re: Is it my fault if you can't handle the truth? (2019)

#32

Post by kurthr »

quickthrower2 wrote: post #20

Assuming there is one “truth” is usually a mistake.

But noticing that something else is self-contradictory gibberish is not.

Sometimes you can pull meaningful information out of a model, argument, or measurement, but sometimes there's nothing there. Then you have to decide whether and how you can get better results by calling it out or walking away and doing something else. Sometimes people learn from mistakes and/or ask for help and sometimes they don't.

Re: Is it my fault if you can't handle the truth? (2019)

#33

Post by DuckFeathers »

I have not met anyone who has this attitude who also happens to be a person of good breadth or depth of understanding of ANYTHING. This doesn't mean they don't exist, it's just that I can't begin to imagine what they'd be like because for all I care, they don't seem to exist. They don't have the breadth or depth of understanding of things not for the lack of trying either. It's just that they shut down everything that is not the "truth" to them and hence become uninteresting to anyone who has other ideas.

Re: Is it my fault if you can't handle the truth? (2019)

#34

Post by doubled112 »

the_snooze wrote: post #5

>Even if my words are accurate, rational, and true, the way I deliver them may color that truth with an entirely different message. A doctor can deliver bad news of a terminal diagnosis with seriousness and sympathy. Or they can just glibly say "Don't bother buying green bananas."

> Don't bother buying green bananas

I can't be the only one who thinks this delivery might be hilarious?

Of course, I respect and understand that not everybody would find it to be.

Re: Is it my fault if you can't handle the truth? (2019)

#35

Post by perfmode »

lifeisstillgood wrote: post #6

Two things - 1. science is the search for being right. It has brought us untold riches and wealth (and weapons). But getting humans to accept the provable facts is really really hard and usually progress is made a funeral at a time. 2. Most people who think they are right are not using scientific rigour but their own instincts and are usually full of hot air - see any middle manager for examples So yes, you are right…

there is no proof in reality

there is no science in truth

riches and wealth signal progress on a relative plane

what of the absolute?

Re: Is it my fault if you can't handle the truth? (2019)

#36

Post by knicholes »

nickff wrote: post #9
swayvil wrote: post #7

[flagged]

What do you mean? What is the "subtext of a slur"? What do you mean by "go a big rubbery one"?

I think they meant "grow a big rubbery one," which is referring to the tumescence of the corpus spongiosum of a penis. Though I believe the comment to be facetious, and no sexual arousal was actually, or has actually been, achieved due to content of their original claim.

Re: Is it my fault if you can't handle the truth? (2019)

#37

Post by duxup »

geraneum wrote: post #4

This reminds me of: “People who are brutally honest get more satisfaction out of the brutality than out of the honesty.” Richard J. Needham

What I find with those people I have encountered is they’ve so focused on the scenario where they’re right that they miss why the situation came about, why things are the way they are.

Sometimes you need to know/ understand that kind of to do the right thing… well.

Re: Is it my fault if you can't handle the truth? (2019)

#38

Post by 19h »

This article reeks of weak sauce. Delivering truth in a "sensitive" manner is a sad testament to the frail sensibilities of modern society. If the unvarnished truth bothers you, that says more about your inadequacies than the person speaking it.

Hiding behind convoluted psychological constructs like "hyper-rationality" and "super-reasonability" is a coward's way to avoid hard truths and difficult conversations. The truth doesn't care about your feelings. It just _is_.

That said, while the truth may be insensitive, that doesn't give anyone license to be gratuitously cruel or dismissive. We are still responsible for our words and their impact. There is a difference between speaking an objective truth and using it as a cudgel. The truth can and should be delivered both accurately _and_ helpfully.

Rationality and empathy aren't mutually exclusive. The most effective truth-tellers understand how to leverage both. They speak hard truths but do so with compassion and care for the listener. They aim to educate and enlighten, not bludgeon and belittle.

In the end, it's not about "handling the truth" but about delivering it in a way that inspires growth rather than induces trauma. The truth may be insensitive but we don't have to be. A spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down, as the saying goes. Too much sugar rots the teeth but too much bitterness poisons the soul. A balanced approach is needed.

Re: Is it my fault if you can't handle the truth? (2019)

#39

Post by lcnPylGDnU4H9OF »

tunesmith wrote: post #30
yarg wrote: post #22

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I think that there's the need to a counterpoint to the world that says "you're beautiful, you're smart, you're perfect just the way you are.". A lot of the time the modern world tells us that feelings are more important than objective reality. It's bullshit.

brutal honesty is not the opposite of "you're beautiful, you're smart, you're perfect just the way you are." And feelings are not opposed to objective reality, for that matter. It's entirely possible to be clear, explicit, truthful, and kind.

> kind

That depends on the person. I’ve known people who take any criticism at any time for any reason as an offense. There is no kind way (from their perspective) to convince such a person that their behavior is anything negative. Neutral at worst or it’s, “What do you have against me?”

Edit: To add a bit more context, some of these people are family members and close friends (who are now distant, unfortunately); I very much prefer being kind to such people.

Re: Is it my fault if you can't handle the truth? (2019)

#40

Post by 32bitkid »

yarg wrote: post #22
geraneum wrote: post #4

This reminds me of: “People who are brutally honest get more satisfaction out of the brutality than out of the honesty.” Richard J. Needham

I think that there's the need to a counterpoint to the world that says "you're beautiful, you're smart, you're perfect just the way you are.". A lot of the time the modern world tells us that feelings are more important than objective reality. It's bullshit.

This is the epitome of the sentiment: those interested in the pursuit of “hard truths” are only extrinsically motivated to find fault in others and gleefully “correct” another’s “faulty” self perception. Never intrinsically motivated to better themselves…

Tell me more about how everyone else in the “modern world” is the problem…

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