Ask HN: How did you rebuild yourself after having hit rock bottom?

And I really don't think that you're truly sorry - plenty of other people tried to convey the same idea (eg, "not rock bottom") with empathy rather than the nastiness you've employed here. Try and be better to others and have a nice weekend.

This is what I did: 1. I got a new hobby involving regular workouts and which was somewhat social with new people. Never really did sports before that, but this really helped me from getting isolated from society. I found new friends and got in shape. There is many of those, kayaking, rowing, soccer, ultimate, ... pick any one. Even running groups could work. Many evenings I came home tired after training, sometimes crying from heartburn, but that eventually passed. And 2. I finished the phd and then got a job in a different country, awesome place, new surroundings, own apartment, new colleagues, new life. This is rather easy with a phd. I didn't really click with my field either, but the decision to power through the last 1-2 years and just wrap it up and then move on was gold. That's what a phd signifies to a new employerand also yourself: You can finish something and power through, even if in tough moments. Every phd has those. Finally, after moving and new job and gotten in shape, got friends and a new relationship and it's great. I didn't have to fight for the latter, it just came autotomatically with new self confidence and casting a wide net. (I'm not really the social type.)

So, let your future self in 15 years tell you: this will all pass, you have a great future ahead!

P.S.: I also read self-help stuff and relationship advice and psychology. The moment I stopped, I started to feel so much better. It just reminded me how crappy I felt. Constantly. Once I threw this out I could embrace my new hobby and new beginnings. There will be throwbacks and evenings where you don't do anything but cry and eat chips. That's ok. Just don't let it consume you and steadily move on.

I know this will sound wildly out of order, but do start working out. It's been crazy how much of my self esteem and idea about myself changed. Like transforming your body will legit give you confidence about other stuff.

Next is try to move into research that's very 'employable', employable likely means that the research holds a huge amount of value to society, internalizing that will prevent you from questioning how meaningful it all is (academia often isn't but by building skills, you derive meaning in a sort of preparatory way)

Lastly get off twitter and stuff. Even HN if you can.

All the best! Keep in mind rooting for strangers is a common human impulse and a bunch of ppl are doing it for you.

When I was in rehab for drug addiction, after I hit my bottom (or what I hope was my rock bottom), something I learned was to try and approach something in the smallest increments possible and to acknowledge / celebrate wins (no matter how small).

Maybe this doesn’t apply to your situation, as my primary goal was to stop my substance abuse but if you can try to tackle your problem(s) in small increments, it might feel more manageable.

Best of luck!

I've realized this is kind of what my mental model has lead to, the worst part is I don't really know how to fix it or change. Fortunately I have years of living expenses if needed, have insurance and a number of close friends. However, WFH has gotten me to a point where it's a struggle to even do a few leetcode problems a day, work on contracting or even make a youtube video. Insurance doesn't cover mental healthcare and it never really helped before.