The End of Love

> I think that is the problem with modern dating. There is too much information and too many choices available so that it is easy to reject someone for something that is obviously trivial.

You can go looking for the perfect person and never find them - or you can choose to be with someone and say “I’m flawed and you are flawed but we are going to try our hardest to make it work in spite of our flaws”.

No. A person with schizoid personality disorder doesn’t go on 100+ first dates. People with schizoid personality disorder avoid social interaction, so they are much more likely to go on 0 first dates than 100+

Histrionic disorder?

I read a bunch of the article but gave up so maybe there's a novel twist at the end that I missed out ln. But...

This author is overcomplicating what is a very straight forward thing.

I am 41, my wife is 36 - we are at the age where all our friends had either figured it out (got married, had kids) or it's very clearly not going to happen.

In every case where "it's not going to happen" despite the person saying they want a relationship - it is very clearly related to the person themself, usually a diagnosed or undiagnosed mental health issue that lead to unproductive/self sabotaging behavior.

This article claims problems dating stem from capitalism, oddly shaped expectations, etc - but I don't know if that's it (unless those are the things that have made people act crazy and self sabotage)

In one of the early paragraphs, she describes a series of insane date experiences. Among my friends, some have this kind of experience always and some have it never, and it's something about them that seeks out and allows this experiences, just one aspect of self sabotage.

It's not that everyone has this experience. My wife has never had a truly horrible date despite being single in NYC for many years, neither have I not many of our now married friends. I think usually there are red flags very early on and it takes a certain person to ignore them and get into that situation.

I don't have an answer, except that I am pretty sure I wouldn't have the family I have if I hadn't spent a few years in therapy and I recommend that to everyone. If your relationship life isn't what you want, it's not "capitalism" it's you.

> One afternoon, Nasruddin and his friend were sitting in a cafe, drinking tea, and talking about life and love.

> “How come you never got married, Nasruddin?” asked his friend.

> “Well,” said Nasruddin, “to tell you the truth, I spent my youth looking for the perfect woman. In Cairo, I met a beautiful, intelligent woman, with eyes like dark olives, but she was unkind. Then in Baghdad, I met a woman who was a wonderful and generous, but we had no interests in common. One woman after another would seem just right, but there was always something missing. Then one day, I met her. She was beautiful, intelligent, generous and kind. We had everything in common. In fact she was perfect.”

> “What happened?” Nasruddin’s friend asked, “Why didn’t you marry her?”

> Nasruddin replied, “It’s a sad thing. Seems she was looking for the perfect man.”