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How we turned the tables to catch my sister’s Bumble stalker

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Re: How we turned the tables to catch my sister’s Bumble stalker

#31

Post by gghffguhvc »

ketzo wrote: post #3

Maybe obvious, but uh: don’t fucking do this! I get it, I'm an older brother, I would wanna go ballistic too. But the fact that these guys skipped over "notify the police" and went straight to "seek out in-person confrontation" is insane! Stalkers are not people in their right mind. Staking out and planning to “citizen’s arrest”(???) someone who has repeatedly visited late at night to threaten and harass is NOT SAFE…

I agree.

However it is worth noting that the sister had been to the police quite a bit by the sounds of it.

"Now it was time to call 999. My sister had already had a couple of police visits about the previous incidents, so they knew there was a problem linked to her flat and came round pretty quickly."

Re: How we turned the tables to catch my sister’s Bumble stalker

#32

Post by mindslight »

zxexz wrote: post #8
ketzo wrote: post #3

Maybe obvious, but uh: don’t fucking do this! I get it, I'm an older brother, I would wanna go ballistic too. But the fact that these guys skipped over "notify the police" and went straight to "seek out in-person confrontation" is insane! Stalkers are not people in their right mind. Staking out and planning to “citizen’s arrest”(???) someone who has repeatedly visited late at night to threaten and harass is NOT SAFE…

Citizens Arrests are very dangerous and pretty much never worth the risk. Even ignoring the many physical dangers of such an act, if the person “arrested” doesn’t get convicted (also pretty sure it has to be a felony conviction, at least here in MA, though IANAL), it opens you up to a false arrest, or possibly a false imprisonment, charge.

If only the police we pay for were held to the same standards as other citizens.

Re: How we turned the tables to catch my sister’s Bumble stalker

#33

Post by gghffguhvc »

ketzo wrote: post #19
AnIdiotOnTheNet wrote: post #13

Earlier quoted context omitted.

It is hilarious that you think the police would give a shit.

We have no way of knowing if they would have given a shit, because they literally didn't even try before planning a late-night stakeout. Yeah, cops can be really shitty about domestic violence and harassment. But, uh, as opening statements go, it's hard to do much stronger than: "Hello officer! I have video evidence of masked guy repeatedly visiting at night to write threatening messages on the car of a woman living…

From the article: "Now it was time to call 999. My sister had already had a couple of police visits about the previous incidents, so they knew there was a problem linked to her flat and came round pretty quickly."

Re: How we turned the tables to catch my sister’s Bumble stalker

#34

Post by fphhotchips »

ketzo wrote: post #17
bigpeach wrote: post #12

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I thought this too. But you can feel incredibly powerless if all you do is “let the police handle it.” Even in this instance, nothing would have come of it had they not traced the guy. Prosecution of crime happens after a crime is committed. Cops can’t do much if you’re worried someone will harm you or a loved one. Even if stalking is illegal, cops won’t / can’t feasibly spend the resources investigating and punishin…

Yeah, but like... they didn't even "let the police handle it." They just went straight to "late-night stakeout." > Cops can’t do much if you’re worried someone will harm you or a loved one. You're right, and that would be a scary situation... if they didn't have more than enough evidence for the police to get involved. Repeated, late-night visits to leave threatening messages would be plenty for a restraining order i…

As per the article, they definitely did call the police beforehand. Clearly the police had taken little, if any, action. It's hidden, but it's there: "my sister had already had a couple of police visits about the previous incidents".

Re: How we turned the tables to catch my sister’s Bumble stalker

#37

Post by femto »

ketzo wrote: post #3

Maybe obvious, but uh: don’t fucking do this! I get it, I'm an older brother, I would wanna go ballistic too. But the fact that these guys skipped over "notify the police" and went straight to "seek out in-person confrontation" is insane! Stalkers are not people in their right mind. Staking out and planning to “citizen’s arrest”(???) someone who has repeatedly visited late at night to threaten and harass is NOT SAFE…

"Collect evidence and get the authorities involved!" is excellent advice.

Though if other options were exhausted, I'd be more prepared to "give it a go" in the UK than in the US. Stricter gun laws mean you're unlikely to be confronted with a firearm, and if outnumbered and tempers are kept at bay the person would be more likely to run or surrender. Think I would have had more than two people on my side.

Re: How we turned the tables to catch my sister’s Bumble stalker

#38

Post by nickdothutton »

Firstly there’s zero chance this was the guy’s first rodeo. Second, without a custodial sentence it wont be his last. When these stories end in tragedy there’s always the part of the story that goes something like “…X had previously been reported on no fewer than Y occasions for similar behaviour.”

Re: How we turned the tables to catch my sister’s Bumble stalker

#40

Post by JoeAltmaier »

They acted as brothers are expected to act - outraged at the mistreatment of their sister, determined to catch the guy, doing everything in their power to keep her safe.

It's arguable whether the police would/could help, and how far they'd go/have the resources to pursue the matter.

In older times, three brothers knocking on your door would be the end of it. Either total capitulation, or some kind of accident.

I feel they showed considerable restraint.

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