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Tell HN: Everyone should have a holiday dinner this year

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Re: Tell HN: Everyone should have a holiday dinner this year

#31

Post by revscat »

I just wish I had someone to talk to. This year, like last year, and the year before, and the year before… I spend it alone, hating myself for being the unlovable mass of fat and depression that I am.

It’s just be nice if one night a year I could pretend not to be me, to pretend that there are people who have warm feelings towards me, who will not lock me up in a mental institution and then block me on everything from SMS to Discord for reasons I do not understand.

I guess I pay can some psychological expert to tell me what to do. That’s what most advice I see seems to lean towards. Just… that doesn’t really help on Christmas Eve when the only human contact you had was with the UberEats driver who dropped off a double quarter pounder and fried apple pie.

Honestly, I got two. It’s Christmas Eve after all.

Re: Tell HN: Everyone should have a holiday dinner this year

#32

Post by rawgabbit »

revscat wrote: post #31

I just wish I had someone to talk to. This year, like last year, and the year before, and the year before… I spend it alone, hating myself for being the unlovable mass of fat and depression that I am. It’s just be nice if one night a year I could pretend not to be me, to pretend that there are people who have warm feelings towards me, who will not lock me up in a mental institution and then block me on everything fro…

Hang in there brother. Tomorrow will bring the promise of better days. Ask and you will receive.

Re: Tell HN: Everyone should have a holiday dinner this year

#34

Post by atdrummond »

revscat wrote: post #31

I just wish I had someone to talk to. This year, like last year, and the year before, and the year before… I spend it alone, hating myself for being the unlovable mass of fat and depression that I am. It’s just be nice if one night a year I could pretend not to be me, to pretend that there are people who have warm feelings towards me, who will not lock me up in a mental institution and then block me on everything fro…

I’m happy to chat if you want. Standard disclaimer than I am just a dude with no training in either psychiatry or psychology or, for that matter, in being a good conversationalist. But if all you need is an open ear and an open mind, I’m here.

Re: Tell HN: Everyone should have a holiday dinner this year

#35

Post by atdrummond »

Kelamir wrote: post #33

This won't be an understatement to say that atdrummond, who posted this, make Christmas for me and my family possible. If you need help, do not hesitate to reach out! I'm really thankful for their help. It's a joy to see there are kind people like this.

I am simply glad I could help. Thank you for your resilience and for being a good provider for your family and friends.

Re: Tell HN: Everyone should have a holiday dinner this year

#36

Post by revscat »

atdrummond wrote: post #34
revscat wrote: post #31

I just wish I had someone to talk to. This year, like last year, and the year before, and the year before… I spend it alone, hating myself for being the unlovable mass of fat and depression that I am. It’s just be nice if one night a year I could pretend not to be me, to pretend that there are people who have warm feelings towards me, who will not lock me up in a mental institution and then block me on everything fro…

I’m happy to chat if you want. Standard disclaimer than I am just a dude with no training in either psychiatry or psychology or, for that matter, in being a good conversationalist. But if all you need is an open ear and an open mind, I’m here.

Thank you, but I’m not so selfish as to want to burden anyone with my bullshit. Some people get to have families. Some don’t. I’m ok with it most days. Today is just harder.

Re: Tell HN: Everyone should have a holiday dinner this year

#37

Post by atdrummond »

revscat wrote: post #36
atdrummond wrote: post #34

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I’m happy to chat if you want. Standard disclaimer than I am just a dude with no training in either psychiatry or psychology or, for that matter, in being a good conversationalist. But if all you need is an open ear and an open mind, I’m here.

Thank you, but I’m not so selfish as to want to burden anyone with my bullshit. Some people get to have families. Some don’t. I’m ok with it most days. Today is just harder.

I promise it isn’t a burden. I’m home alone all weekend; my family is all hundreds or thousands of miles away. I truly would love to talk. Email is in the bio. :)

Re: Tell HN: Everyone should have a holiday dinner this year

#39

Post by MollyRealized »

I posted a longer variant of this to friends on Facebook, but please remember a saying that social media merely shows people's "highlight reels", not their day-to-day life.

More than ever, people are struggling. Please do not attribute any weakness or negative quality to yourself if you are struggling yourself - you are among millions.

And do not feel there's necessarily any strength in "keeping it to yourself." Many people are letting that build to unsustainable levels inside themselves. Be honest with a friend that you are struggling. If, for the moment, you are without friends, you will find that there are anonymous people who do care about you on Discords, chat rooms.

Or on the end of a hotline. You don't necessarily have to have active plans of suicide to call a suicide hotline. A lot of the time, some people who kill themselves have deep apathy about life right up until a moment.

I'll be honest that I am one of those struggling. I am not actively suicidal - I may possibly have some passive suicidal ideation (certainly the apathy and some lack of emotion) - but I am fortunate enough to have a good therapist. It is merely that I've lost a lot of people and gone through a tremendous amount of difficult change in the last year.

My maxim in life has been this: at the worst of times, just take the next step forward. That's all you have to worry about, that one next step. They build up.

Good luck to everyone here in 2023 with those challenges you find yourself facing. Don't feel as if you are excluded from the human race by your struggles. You are facing variants of what we are all facing.

Re: Tell HN: Everyone should have a holiday dinner this year

#40

Post by napsterbr »

revscat wrote: post #31

I just wish I had someone to talk to. This year, like last year, and the year before, and the year before… I spend it alone, hating myself for being the unlovable mass of fat and depression that I am. It’s just be nice if one night a year I could pretend not to be me, to pretend that there are people who have warm feelings towards me, who will not lock me up in a mental institution and then block me on everything fro…

Fellow loner here. It's tough, and some years are harder than others. May we never lose hope entirely and/or give up. Miracles do happen every now and then!

Ordinarily I'd volunteer to chat but at the moment my social anxiety is so severe I don't think I can have a private conversation with a stranger.

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