On why I gave up drinking in my early twenties

Have you documented the US trips anywhere?

I like to drink more than I ought to (and less than I used to), but your assessment sounds not exactly but a lot like how I feel about cannabis. At any THC dose enough to feel at all, it’s almost always tunnel vision and time dilation and anxiety, and all I want is to go be alone to wait it out. All side effects, no joy there. If I’m lucky enough to hit the perfect mark of low dose but perceptible effects, I like it okay but it’s totally unpredictable. Not worth whatever I might enjoy with perfect precision dosage.

People who enjoy THC describe it to me as similar to how they enjoy caffeine, which makes some sense to me having a dopamine supplement daily. Most of what I enjoy about alcohol is tasting it. As far as psychoactive effects, I find it calming but not as much as you do. It doesn’t generally make me sleepy unless I’m already headed that way. It just makes me feel less at odds with things in the world. Which is good for my psyche, as long as I don’t drink too much… which is when I remember feeling at odds with things in the world.

Back when I was first attending university, I attended this national entrepreneurship convention with fellow peers from my university's local chapter. There was a social night where they rented out an entire bar and we were all socializing. I was with a female friend from my university, who was pretty and obviously a magnet for all sorts of men. She asked me if I could get her some water, so I did. I brought a bottle of water to her, from which she sipped. Some obnoxious dude comes up to us, wanting to know her. She's a magnet. He discovers that I gave her the water, and he looks at me incredulously, loudly saying, "You got her WATER? WATER???"

Not being a heavy drinker back then, plus being your standard computer nerd, I was of course uncomfortable. I felt shame, but I couldn't figure out why it was justified. I also felt resentment because I had done nothing wrong. Years later, I've discovered the shame was never justified, the guy was just a douche (for whatever reason), and I was quite happy my whole life without ever getting piss drunk. I did get buzzed at least three times in my life, so I don't know what it would take to make me really drunk. Guess I'll never know though, because I quit drinking after meeting my wife because she doesn't like to drink. But I'm fine with it.

I do wonder if society would be more civil if there was no pressure to drink. I don't think non-drinkers should judge people who drink, and drinkers certainly should not judge people who don't drink. But it is an awkward truth that alcohol is often associated with misbehaviour or worse, and I'm not sure how society deals with that and also avoids going down the path of the US prohibition era and the backlash that is Al Capone. I've lost faith in society's ability to engage in nuance and not be judgmental. Bleh.

Not to mention the money you save.

I was recently at a cocktail bar for a party. I think the cheapest cocktail was $17, but most were between $20-$30. And most people had at least two.

Meanwhile a lot of these places have cheap food (to encourage you to drink more), so I'm there in the corner scoffing my $4 pizza and $3 diet coke. Heh heh heh, suckers...