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Bridesmaids go professional

sixthtone.com

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Re: Bridesmaids go professional

#31

Post by danans »

Assuming bridesmaids/groomsmen would otherwise be selected from the respective sides' extended relations of similar age, this isn't surprising considering the impact of both the one child policy and the urbanization of China, which would limit the number of relatives available.

In many cultures, wedding ceremonies themselves (not the parties and receptions) are mostly an in-family thing, so you wouldn't have friends, however close, as attendants to the bride and groom.

Lacking relatives, it might be easier to just hire these actors. It's a bit odd to be taking photos with them, but perhaps just having a lot of people in your wedding photos has cultural currency.

Re: Bridesmaids go professional

#32

Post by jfengel »

Auracle wrote: post #8

I wonder how looks other than height affect the job. You probably don’t want your bridesmaids to be prettier than you, but you also want them to look good for photos. That’s a fine line for most of the population.

TFA doesn't say, and it's hard to make an educated guess without (I think) being embedded in Chinese culture.

In my experience, the entire point of bridesmaids is that they are your friends, sharing your "special day". The photos exist to document that you were, briefly, the top of the social heap and the center of attention. It wouldn't be meaningful to hire non-friends.

Which isn't to say it doesn't happen, of course. And since TFA says that the get 10-20 "inquiries" per day, it may just be that with > 1 billion people there's always somebody doing anything. In which case it's probably hard to draw any patterns about what people want, since they're so far off the end of the bell curve.

Re: Bridesmaids go professional

#33

Post by jxramos »

omoikane wrote: post #24

Searching for "professional bridesmaid" suggests this is not a new industry. Related: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Professional_mourning

I was thinking about that related industry, if that too would make a resurgence in areas and cultures it had faded in many generations ago. I think some places never stopped that industry right?

Re: Bridesmaids go professional

#34

Post by bobthepanda »

danans wrote: post #31

Assuming bridesmaids/groomsmen would otherwise be selected from the respective sides' extended relations of similar age, this isn't surprising considering the impact of both the one child policy and the urbanization of China, which would limit the number of relatives available. In many cultures, wedding ceremonies themselves (not the parties and receptions) are mostly an in-family thing, so you wouldn't have friends,…

It seems like it's more of an aesthetic choice according to TFA.

> COVID-19 travel restrictions have made it hard to find friends able to travel to weddings, while some couples complain they can’t find friends that are up to the standard.

> A bridesmaid needs to be unmarried, Xie told Sixth Tone on Monday, and it’s important not to be taller than the bride. For aspiring professionals, 155 cm-173 cm is a good height, she said.

> At a wedding, Xie usually pretends to be the bride’s best friend or a classmate. The couple generally cover the travel and accommodation costs. A typical daily rate is between 500 and 2,000 yuan ($74-$296).

So if you are a short woman who has married later than most of your shorter female friends, this is the service for you.

Re: Bridesmaids go professional

#35

Post by devchix »

I've read that rent-a-family is a normalized service in Japan, I don't know if that's a common rental there.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rental_family_service

This makes me think that humans don't crave actual emotional ties and connection as much as the appearance of one. That is, they are not paying for love and kinship, just the ritual of it, which maybe all we have to go on. "There's no such thing as love, only proof of love."

Come to think of it, I think there's an east Asian tradition of hiring mourners to follow the funeral procession of the deceased, and the expected crying and expressions of grief.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Professional_mourning

Re: Bridesmaids go professional

#36

Post by RJIb8RBYxzAMX9u »

astura wrote: post #30
jdalgetty wrote: post #9

"A bridesmaid needs to be unmarried" - Interesting...

Bridesmaid = maid of the bride. Bride = woman getting married. Maid = young unmarried girl or woman/virgin. In contemporary American culture it's just friends/family of any age/marital status. But they really should change the name.

> But they really should change the name.

If the word "literally" in the vernacular, has come to mean the complete opposite of its original definition, let's not begrudge the word "maid" losing its original marital status -- and it's more about their virginity IIUC -- connotation.

English is just a mess.

Re: Bridesmaids go professional

#37

Post by vorpalhex »

AlwaysRock wrote: post #10

I'm in a wedding soon where the groom basically sent all the groomsmen a kind of odd message saying here is what you are responsible for doing. I think it was intended as being kind of funny but none of us know each other and this isnt someone I'm exceptionally close with anymore. It feels like I just got signed up to do work. I could see how this could easily be a job.

As a groomsman, yes, you are there to work. You are an attendant to the groom (and often also the bride and her bridesmaids to a lesser extent). You will also assist other contractors and members of the wedding party.

Re: Bridesmaids go professional

#38

Post by ironmagma »

devchix wrote: post #35

I've read that rent-a-family is a normalized service in Japan, I don't know if that's a common rental there. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rental_family_service This makes me think that humans don't crave actual emotional ties and connection as much as the appearance of one. That is, they are not paying for love and kinship, just the ritual of it, which maybe all we have to go on. "There's no such thing as love, only…

To me it's just a reminder that the east and west are different. It seems "kinda weird" to me to want a fake family, but it's not more shocking than wanting thousands of TikTok or Instagram followers. It's good we have diversity of values, as it makes us more resilient as a species, although I suspect this trend will not take off in the US.

Re: Bridesmaids go professional

#39

Post by spyspy »

As someone who recently got married I can tell you that anyone in the wedding party who hasn't been married is useless. Total dead weight at best and counterproductive, self-centered a*holes at worst (sorry the venue made you get a covid test Greg). But the ones that have are worth their weight in gold. The behavior, thoughtfulness, and even the toasts are night and day.

For context we really had 6 wedding coordinators the day of (venue coordinator, catering coordinator, MC, actual day-of coordinator + 2 assistants), to give you an idea of how many people are running things behind the scenes. If I had to do it all again I can't say I wouldn't hot swap out some of the wedding party for professionals.

Re: Bridesmaids go professional

#40

Post by danans »

bobthepanda wrote: post #34
danans wrote: post #31

Assuming bridesmaids/groomsmen would otherwise be selected from the respective sides' extended relations of similar age, this isn't surprising considering the impact of both the one child policy and the urbanization of China, which would limit the number of relatives available. In many cultures, wedding ceremonies themselves (not the parties and receptions) are mostly an in-family thing, so you wouldn't have friends,…

It seems like it's more of an aesthetic choice according to TFA. > COVID-19 travel restrictions have made it hard to find friends able to travel to weddings, while some couples complain they can’t find friends that are up to the standard. > A bridesmaid needs to be unmarried, Xie told Sixth Tone on Monday, and it’s important not to be taller than the bride. For aspiring professionals, 155 cm-173 cm is a good height,…

> So if you are a short woman who has married later than most of your shorter female friends, this is the service for you.

That's extremely niche. Also, I'm guessing if you are excluding friends based on their height, you must not be great friends with them, and maybe vice versa.

I'd guess it's more likely that bridesmaids in general don't have such a sacrosanct and personal role in these weddings, and they function more like models at an automotive/electronics shows.

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