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Choose your status game wisely

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Re: Choose your status game wisely

#31

Post by qwertygnu »

_bfhp wrote: post #26
scandox wrote: post #3

> I know some of you will say “Just ignore the status game altogether,” but this is easier said than done. Like many other animals, we are biologically wired to respond to status. Ignorance is not the way out. It's not ignorance to overcome our biology. It is possible to control our desire for status and to live better lives and be happier as a result. Also different cultures are much more competitive about status: A…

I have come to read any statement like "we are biologically wired to X" as a declaration of nihilism and misanthropy. Wired is what a light bulb is to a switch. Individual humans are complex, beautiful and capable of overcoming pretty much anything, including biological tendencies.

> Wired is what a light bulb is to a switch.

lol this is a good one. might have to steal it ;)

Re: Choose your status game wisely

#32

Post by f0e4c2f7 »

Sometimes you see articles like this that insist that you have to play a status game of some kind etc etc. The hacker in me sees that as even more reason to look for examples of ways alleviate myself of such nonsense.

If you read books like "Surely you're joking Mr. Feynman" you run across stories of him playing with Status games and poking fun at them. Though I'm sure one could argue Feynman had status games he played in his own way.

In any case thats always the attitude I've preferred to take towards status. I just don't know how anyone can take themselves so seriously in a world where the highest paid and smartest among us wear rainbow hats with propellers.

Don't take life so seriously and goof around a little more. Thats how you turn up interesting ideas anyway, not by playing status games.

Re: Choose your status game wisely

#33

Post by sacrosancty »

Flankk wrote: post #4

You should do what makes you feel fulfilled in life. If that thing is status, I question your motivation. People like that are conceited.

I think it's rarely status on its own, but people keep seeming to turn activities into status competitions. Even something humble like a retired man doing woodturning wants to make a more beautiful piece that people appreciate.

Re: Choose your status game wisely

#34

Post by elvis10ten »

scandox wrote: post #3

> I know some of you will say “Just ignore the status game altogether,” but this is easier said than done. Like many other animals, we are biologically wired to respond to status. Ignorance is not the way out. It's not ignorance to overcome our biology. It is possible to control our desire for status and to live better lives and be happier as a result. Also different cultures are much more competitive about status: A…

I always find that people who claim that they or a geography have fewer/no status sports are only referring to the “popular” games. There is always an alternative game.

People in Europe claim it. I have lived in Africa, Europe, US and the Middle East. The only difference I saw is the type of games people generally engage in.

Geeks claim it, because they don’t engage in the typical meat world status game. But again, we just usually play a different game.

…

Re: Choose your status game wisely

#35

Post by YawningAngel »

f0e4c2f7 wrote: post #32

Sometimes you see articles like this that insist that you have to play a status game of some kind etc etc. The hacker in me sees that as even more reason to look for examples of ways alleviate myself of such nonsense. If you read books like "Surely you're joking Mr. Feynman" you run across stories of him playing with Status games and poking fun at them. Though I'm sure one could argue Feynman had status games he play…

It seems strange to me to use a Nobel prize-winning physicist as an example of someone who didn't play status games

Re: Choose your status game wisely

#36

Post by Invictus0 »

f0e4c2f7 wrote: post #32

Sometimes you see articles like this that insist that you have to play a status game of some kind etc etc. The hacker in me sees that as even more reason to look for examples of ways alleviate myself of such nonsense. If you read books like "Surely you're joking Mr. Feynman" you run across stories of him playing with Status games and poking fun at them. Though I'm sure one could argue Feynman had status games he play…

> rainbow hats with propellers

Would you call such a thing a status symbol? Something glorified in certain circles and disregarded in others?

The author clearly explained that removing yourself from status games just ends up putting you in a different status game (his metalhead days).

The reality is that you have many statuses irrespective of whether you want it or not merely as a function of being in a group. I suppose by not being in any groups you would accrue status among people that value that too.

Re: Choose your status game wisely

#37

Post by sacrosancty »

f0e4c2f7 wrote: post #32

Sometimes you see articles like this that insist that you have to play a status game of some kind etc etc. The hacker in me sees that as even more reason to look for examples of ways alleviate myself of such nonsense. If you read books like "Surely you're joking Mr. Feynman" you run across stories of him playing with Status games and poking fun at them. Though I'm sure one could argue Feynman had status games he play…

Status usually represents having done some social good. The more good you do, the higher your status. If you look at it as a measure of how much good a person has done, then it might not seem so contemptable. Who did more good for more people - a hermit or Bill Gates?

Re: Choose your status game wisely

#38

Post by Invictus0 »

swagasaurus-rex wrote: post #16

Who is more cool? Somebody who makes it clear they're wealthy or well connected or attractive or smart or etc... Or somebody who is upbeat and friendly with no desire to display anything about themselves? There's a minority of people who go by their own compass. The things that gratify status seekers don't do it for them. That's not to say they don't have needs. They need friends, stimulation, hobbies, achievements.…

These groups are not mutually exclusive. Is the wealthy person an asshole? Is the upbeat person poor? How poor? How much of an asshole? It's a silly example.

Re: Choose your status game wisely

#39

Post by insickness »

swagasaurus-rex wrote: post #16

Who is more cool? Somebody who makes it clear they're wealthy or well connected or attractive or smart or etc... Or somebody who is upbeat and friendly with no desire to display anything about themselves? There's a minority of people who go by their own compass. The things that gratify status seekers don't do it for them. That's not to say they don't have needs. They need friends, stimulation, hobbies, achievements.…

> Or somebody who is upbeat and friendly with no desire to display anything about themselves?

Just because a person isn't outwardly status-seeking doesn't mean they don't display anything about themselves. They may seem like they don't care what anyone thinks about them, but if everyone thought they were a pedophile, they would hate it, regardless of the legal ramifications. It's human nature to care about what others think about us. We all 'display' in some sense or another, whether it's how we dress, what we accomplish or how we want others to perceive us. Humans are extremely social creatures.

Re: Choose your status game wisely

#40

Post by lordnacho »

The thing I do is I keep many social circles. Family groups, friends from different language groups, work groups, educational groups, interest groups, kids' friends' parents, and so on.

That way there's really no hierarchy, it's like being a contractor at a business or an acquaintance at a party. People will still find you interesting but not threatening. Weirdly they also find you familiar despite you not being there all the time. I guess it's decreasing marginal returns.

If you have some time to waste, look at one of those Real Housewives of X shows. They love having rivalries, but they're only fighting each other because it's such a closed group.

Having lots of groups also lets you take off some of the intensity of your relationships. You don't have a sole provider of entertainment or warmth or intellectual stimulation, so you don't have to do everything their way. You can take a break from any particular person. And you get a lot of invitations.

I'm even a bit suspicious of people who seem to have exactly one group of friends that they're always with and have always been in. Often I find there's some sort of blockage there in their maturation, making it hard for them to communicate.

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