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When families un-adopt a child (2018)

theatlantic.com

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Re: When families un-adopt a child (2018)

#31

Post by toomuchtodo »

rayiner wrote: post #29
toomuchtodo wrote: post #24

Earlier quoted context omitted.

The more resources available for parents who shouldn’t become parents to stay childfree, the better. Everyone decries the falling fertility rate. Let’s talk about how many kids who are in foster care every year (~400k in the US), who are in toxic homes, or who are homeless. We have a long way to go. (I donate to non profits who subsidize voluntary permanent birth control and who advocate for the childfree)

Quoted post unavailable.

Reproducing for the sake of doing so is clearing becoming passé [1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6]. High level, the world needs less people [7]. Lots of roads to get there, all valid as long as they don't cause harm in the process. Live your best life, and for many, that means being childfree. If you're a decent, responsible parent, more power to you, as long as you're willing to shoulder the costs of your children. Culture and passing of it down is seemingly overrated in the current era (outside of some belief systems), and even the Mongol Empire ran out of steam (despite Genghis Khan's progeny and reproductive efforts). Build strong institutions that will withstand the test of time, versus traditional families, marriages, and progeny. Arguably, this is an indicator of an advanced civilization, versus relying on families and tribalism for strength and culture.

[1] https://ourworldindata.org/fertility-rate

[2] https://www.pewresearch.org/fact-tank/2021/11/19/growing-sha...

[3] https://www.census.gov/newsroom/press-releases/2021/childles...

[4] https://ifstudies.org/blog/the-rise-of-childless-america

[5] https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nation/2019/03/29/childf...

[6] https://www.nytimes.com/2018/07/05/upshot/americans-are-havi...

[7] https://www.nationalgeographic.org/topics/resource-library-h...

Re: When families un-adopt a child (2018)

#32

Post by hn_throwaway_99 »

I went and googled the advertising page of the second chance adoption agency discussed in this article, and it's just heartbreaking. On one hand, I really can't imagine what these "parents" were thinking adopting these children in the first place - the reasons for rehoming go from "major lifelong medical care required" to "child doesn't get along with his siblings" - but, in any case, doesn't seem like many of the issues would have been unknown or that unexpected at the time of the first adoption. I also have the distinct feeling that few of these parents would give these kids up at the ages of 8-10 if they were their own biological children.

Of course, on the other hand, I can't help but think that these kids should be removed ASAP from a home where a parent would consider giving them up after caring for them for 8-9 years.

Just really sad all around, my heart goes out to these kids.

Re: When families un-adopt a child (2018)

#34

Post by haolez »

999900000999 wrote: post #28

Doesn't surprise me at all. My dad's wife hated me, so I got kicked out at 15. Didn't stop my Dad from showing up at school and my job to threaten me. The joys of adulthood, I deal with my horrible family when I want to. If you gave a bad family, it's imperative you estrange yourself. In my 20s I made the mistake of trusting these disgusting people. Of course they lied to my face, stabbed me in the back, and asked me…

Consider going to therapy. Sometimes, the scars are not as deep as you initially thought.

Your story seems similar to my wife's, especially the part about being tricked into debt. We've managed to clear things up after many years of she and her brothers struggling. Good luck!

Re: When families un-adopt a child (2018)

#35

Post by addaon »

song wrote: post #19
oneoff786 wrote: post #8

Earlier quoted context omitted.

The bigger red flag there is leaving their extended family for a secluded life imo. This has a wide range of possible interpretations.

This kind of sounds like the parents joined a cult... The secluded life, leaving extended family... Of course, pure speculation, but this way of writing reminds me of what I've heard in the past from people in cults.

Or left a cult...

Re: When families un-adopt a child (2018)

#36

Post by Permit »

rayiner wrote: post #29
toomuchtodo wrote: post #24

Earlier quoted context omitted.

The more resources available for parents who shouldn’t become parents to stay childfree, the better. Everyone decries the falling fertility rate. Let’s talk about how many kids who are in foster care every year (~400k in the US), who are in toxic homes, or who are homeless. We have a long way to go. (I donate to non profits who subsidize voluntary permanent birth control and who advocate for the childfree)

Quoted post unavailable.

What an unusually low-value comment from an otherwise high-value commenter. Do you take issue with the label “child free” or with the fact that some couples would prefer not to have children? Or maybe with the idea that an organization advocates for these people?

Re: When families un-adopt a child (2018)

#37

Post by VictorPath »

rayiner wrote: post #29
toomuchtodo wrote: post #24

Earlier quoted context omitted.

The more resources available for parents who shouldn’t become parents to stay childfree, the better. Everyone decries the falling fertility rate. Let’s talk about how many kids who are in foster care every year (~400k in the US), who are in toxic homes, or who are homeless. We have a long way to go. (I donate to non profits who subsidize voluntary permanent birth control and who advocate for the childfree)

Quoted post unavailable.

> Luckily this is a self-correcting problem

Being as people have been around for at least 500 centuries, and birthrate are leveling off, if this were going to "self-correct", it would have already.

Re: When families un-adopt a child (2018)

#38

Post by satellite2 »

toomuchtodo wrote: post #31
rayiner wrote: post #29

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Quoted post unavailable.

Reproducing for the sake of doing so is clearing becoming passé [1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6]. High level, the world needs less people [7]. Lots of roads to get there, all valid as long as they don't cause harm in the process. Live your best life, and for many, that means being childfree. If you're a decent, responsible parent, more power to you, as long as you're willing to shoulder the costs of your children. Culture and…

The Repugnant Conclusion

Re: When families un-adopt a child (2018)

#39

Post by [deleted] »

ratww wrote: post #30
ftyers wrote: post #4

I really didn't get this part: > But according to the information provided by her parents, “This family has drastically changed their lifestyle and have left their faith and extended family for a quiet, secluded life.” It is their hope that “a different family will step forward who can provide her with the socialization and continued relationship with God that she desires.” So they're saying that they are getting rid…

There is a link on the article that provides a few more details. https://wiaa.org/child/reese-placed/ > This is a child with no special needs but wants to be in a family who goes to church. She loves to sing praise songs and read her Bible. She and her parents want her to be in a family that does this. She gets along with everyone and has no major behavioral problems. Her parents want her to be in a family that is in…

[deleted]

Re: When families un-adopt a child (2018)

#40

Post by toomuchtodo »

satellite2 wrote: post #38
toomuchtodo wrote: post #31

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Reproducing for the sake of doing so is clearing becoming passé [1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6]. High level, the world needs less people [7]. Lots of roads to get there, all valid as long as they don't cause harm in the process. Live your best life, and for many, that means being childfree. If you're a decent, responsible parent, more power to you, as long as you're willing to shoulder the costs of your children. Culture and…

The Repugnant Conclusion

I had never heard of this, but I have been looking for this sort of explanation of this model, thank you for mentioning it!

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mere_addition_paradox

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Reasons_and_Persons

https://plato.stanford.edu/entries/repugnant-conclusion/

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