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A simple system I’m using to stay in touch with hundreds of people

jakobgreenfeld.com

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Re: A simple system I’m using to stay in touch with hundreds of people

#31

Post by MattGaiser »

MrYellowP wrote: post #5

So he's treating people like assets, not friends, and these assets need to be checked on on a regular basis. If there were friends, he'd not need to be reminded of contacting them. He'd miss contacting them. So instead he needs a tool to remind him of that "friend" he needs to contact, because pretending to care is beneficial. One might some day need them. It's incredibly sad that his social life, or rather: the illu…

> If there were friends, he'd not need to be reminded of contacting them.

No, things just slip your mind, especially if there are a lot of other things going on in life.

People forget to take medications that when not taken lead to psychotic breaks. It isn't because they don't care about being sane.

People forget their kids in cars. They didn't casually want them dead of overheating.

I have friends that when time allows, we speak to each other for hours every day. When time allows. Plenty of times one or the other has forgotten that the other existed for a few weeks.

Things get forgotten.

Re: A simple system I’m using to stay in touch with hundreds of people

#32

Post by pell »

MrYellowP wrote: post #5

So he's treating people like assets, not friends, and these assets need to be checked on on a regular basis. If there were friends, he'd not need to be reminded of contacting them. He'd miss contacting them. So instead he needs a tool to remind him of that "friend" he needs to contact, because pretending to care is beneficial. One might some day need them. It's incredibly sad that his social life, or rather: the illu…

I didn’t read this as asset management at all, nor as someone managing their actual friends in a list. It seems more like these are various people who they’ve crossed paths with at some point but who aren’t overly close anymore. It’s a system set in place to actively keep in touch with people. I understand that there is a component to this that feels very artificial and maybe therefore quite cold. But consider the other side too: someone is not the best at keeping a contact alive but still values the relationship very much so they put in the effort to create an external structure to help them out. Isn’t that a pretty warm thought after all?

Re: A simple system I’m using to stay in touch with hundreds of people

#33

Post by H8crilA »

lelandfe wrote: post #6

If I read a post on my friend’s blog exposing that their occasional texts had genesis in an automation and not genuine interest I would try very hard to not talk to that person Unsubscribe, please

I trust you don't use a calendar to keep track of birthdays, otherwise people will try very hard not to talk to you.

Re: A simple system I’m using to stay in touch with hundreds of people

#34

Post by WastingMyTime89 »

lelandfe wrote: post #13
WastingMyTime89 wrote: post #11

Earlier quoted context omitted.

He didn’t talk about friends you are. Still you can safely assume most of the people in the three weeks category are close contacts. Unless you are in college and have little to no obligations, it gets hard to stay in touch with all your friends and keep track of what is happening to them. It’s not treating people like assets. He is putting efforts on his side towards keeping connections and to do that he needs tools…

The author explicitly says the goal of this work is for opportunities

The author says it’s the easiest and most effective way to make your life more serendipitous and that if you don’t you will miss on fun and opportunities which is very true. I never go have coffee or enjoy unforeseen activities with people I don’t speak to. Having a large network of lively relationship is indeed a sure way to have more things happening in your life. Also people enjoy other people reaching out to them. Once again there is nothing unusable in what OP is doing. Having tools to help you keep in touch with people is a necessity in any position where you need to maintain good relationships with a large number of people. It takes effort and is a good thing.

Re: A simple system I’m using to stay in touch with hundreds of people

#35

Post by golover721 »

MrYellowP wrote: post #23
lvturner wrote: post #19

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I'm not sure I agree with your take here, it's rather uncharitable. I've lost touch with friends because I failed to do this sort of thing, it's easy to not keep up with people when there is no immediate driver or common interest (perhaps I'm atypical or neurodivergent) this is multiplied when you leave a country and no longer see some people on a regular basis. A system like this would ensure my forgetful nature doe…

How do you manage to lose touch with friends? Did you not miss them? If you did, why didn't you contact them? If you didn't, why do you care? One can not forget about friends, one can only stop caring.

It’s not about forgetting. I don’t forget my friends, but at the same time life happens. Kids, work obligations, relationships. It’s easy to forget to reach out to friends or acquaintances. Easy to underestimate when the last time you made contact. That’s just life.

Re: A simple system I’m using to stay in touch with hundreds of people

#36

Post by MrYellowP »

batushka3 wrote: post #8
MrYellowP wrote: post #5

So he's treating people like assets, not friends, and these assets need to be checked on on a regular basis. If there were friends, he'd not need to be reminded of contacting them. He'd miss contacting them. So instead he needs a tool to remind him of that "friend" he needs to contact, because pretending to care is beneficial. One might some day need them. It's incredibly sad that his social life, or rather: the illu…

For so long we were (and still are) called a human resource, whole departments and studies devoted for human resource management. Treating people like assest fits here.

Doesn't make it okay. At all.

"Human resources" is dehumanizing.

Treating people like assets is dehumanizing.

If I told my friends that I had software reminding me of contacting them, they'd consider that we're not actually friends, because friends don't need to be reminded of friends.

When there's no bond reminding me, then they're not friends. One cares about friends. When you forget about them, then you're not actually caring.

Re: A simple system I’m using to stay in touch with hundreds of people

#37

Post by horstmeyer »

MrYellowP wrote: post #23
lvturner wrote: post #19

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I'm not sure I agree with your take here, it's rather uncharitable. I've lost touch with friends because I failed to do this sort of thing, it's easy to not keep up with people when there is no immediate driver or common interest (perhaps I'm atypical or neurodivergent) this is multiplied when you leave a country and no longer see some people on a regular basis. A system like this would ensure my forgetful nature doe…

How do you manage to lose touch with friends? Did you not miss them? If you did, why didn't you contact them? If you didn't, why do you care? One can not forget about friends, one can only stop caring.

When I miss people, I often don't have time to reach out. When I have time, I often don't remember that I wanted to reach out to people. Sometimes life keeps us too busy.

Re: A simple system I’m using to stay in touch with hundreds of people

#39

Post by MrYellowP »

H8crilA wrote: post #33
lelandfe wrote: post #6

If I read a post on my friend’s blog exposing that their occasional texts had genesis in an automation and not genuine interest I would try very hard to not talk to that person Unsubscribe, please

I trust you don't use a calendar to keep track of birthdays, otherwise people will try very hard not to talk to you.

Implying that forgetting a date and forgetting a person are equivalent.

Re: A simple system I’m using to stay in touch with hundreds of people

#40

Post by camillomiller »

H8crilA wrote: post #33
lelandfe wrote: post #6

If I read a post on my friend’s blog exposing that their occasional texts had genesis in an automation and not genuine interest I would try very hard to not talk to that person Unsubscribe, please

I trust you don't use a calendar to keep track of birthdays, otherwise people will try very hard not to talk to you.

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