Ask stupid questions as a new software developer

As the recipient of a great deal of this behavior (see “I ask ‘stupid’ questions all the time,” above), I think that it’s better to say “this is why we can’t have nice things,” and simply cover all my bases by not attacking others.

It’s quite easy to say “no,” in a way that does not cast shame or judgment onto others.

If someone asks a question I can easily answer; even if they are being “lazy” (which I believe to be an overused, and misunderstood word), or even trolling, I answer it in good faith. If I don’t have time, I say “I’m not able to answer that, right now,” or simply ignore it, if I can do so, in a way that does not come across as judgmental.

Easy-peasey. That way, I don’t make enemies quickly. If someone perceives me as a “soft touch,” or as an easy place to get answers, that’s not actually a bad thing.

As we get older, we discover that making friends, and not making enemies, is a lot more important than being perceived as “superior.” Relationships may be the single most valuable artifact of our lives.

I’m a good friend to have. I always find it fascinating, how so many folks start our relationship out by quickly judging me (negatively, of course), and attacking me. They've never had any contact with me before, and their very first interaction with me is an insult or attack (quite frequently, landing wide of the mark). I consider that to be rather self-destructive behavior.

I try not to do that to others.

Advice for junior devs: Asking "how do I even go about searching for this?" is also a perfect acceptable question. Another format: "how do YOU generally research things?"

I'm a staff-level engineer at a well-known tech company. One of the most important things I do is ask simple/"dumb" questions of other very smart but more junior engineers.

I try to ask questions they haven't considered or explained well. I ask questions that poke at the assumptions and basic tenets of the problem. I ask honest, non-leading questions to which I genuinely want to know the answer. Other kinds of feedback are not appropriate questions.

My Kubernetes and other SRE-style knowledge is limited, so I ask dumb questions there. Sometimes the response is "uhm this is a basic concept" but every time I've done that other engs in the room tell me they were afraid of asking the very same questions. (And tbh many times the answers point to a lack of understanding of fundamentals.)

So the key is to be genuinely curious and optimistic, try to guide others to ask and answer similar questions on their own and present them at the right level of detail in their presentation/documentation. And to encourage all engineers regardless of seniority to do the same.

A key point is doing this at the right times. During a 10-person meeting with directors is not the right time to ask questions that could send things back to the drawing-board. Such meetings are ceremony.

If there are big questions about feasibility etc at a 10-person director-level meeting, you need to go into backroom fire-fighting mode to figure out how to save the project and let everyone save face. In the moment is almost never the right time.

If there are tech problems or questions, ask the small group of people who did the thinking, and ask them in a low-stakes setting. All questions must be asked in good-faith to gain any level of respect and overall progress for everyone involved.

Questions are NOT an opportunity to show off, to politick, or to start lots of little fires that everyone must put out before proceeding.

This is half the art of questions at senior and staff levels: when to ask them, to whom to ask them, and how to help guide the action based on the answer even if you disagree with the conclusions.