Hacker News Board Hacker News, browsed like a classic message board
Live data from Hacker News

My Wife Was Dying of Brain Cancer. My Boss at Amazon Told Me to Perform or Quit

motherjones.com

Post reply on HN
Print view View original

31–40 of 344 posts

Re: My Wife Was Dying of Brain Cancer. My Boss at Amazon Told Me to Perform or Quit

#31

Post by MattGaiser »

ivraatiems wrote: post #8
MattGaiser wrote: post #3

1. How do other companies handle these situations? How do you effectively handle an employee rendered unable to perform their job due to tragedy? This came up with Atlassian a few weeks ago, and they have a much better reputation than Amazon and it doesn't seem like they handled things in a great way either. The reality is that you might just need to terminate people who cannot perform, no matter what the reason. 2.…

> Not to blame him, but it is unfortunate that he didn't have someone who could advise him that taking a hard job at a notoriously uncaring company with a sick wife would be unwise. This is blaming him. > The reality is that you might just need to terminate people who cannot perform, no matter what the reason. Or even better, give them a few months' leave at half or a quarter salary, or at least let them keep their b…

I am not blaming him as I don't think he knew. He is not at fault for not knowing. Just that for those who have heard what Amazon is like, that this end result was predictable and it is unfortunate that he didn't have that.

Re: My Wife Was Dying of Brain Cancer. My Boss at Amazon Told Me to Perform or Quit

#32

Post by ivraatiems »

illumin8 wrote: post #23
CoastalCoder wrote: post #2

I read through the article. I really, really hurt for its author, and pray that I never face similar circumstances. It sounds like he's stinging from his manager not expressing enough empathy. But with the information in the article, I don't really understand what Amazon should have done differently. Unfortunately the article was vague about just how much the author was underperforming. Also, while I'm no fan of Amaz…

I read the timeline and it seems like he started in mid-late 2018, was having performance problems throughout 2019, and didn't even get fired until mid-2020. This is super generous, and while I have a lot of empathy for his personal situation, I think he could have had a much different outcome if he would have been more proactive about managing expectations: - Amazon does have a bereavement benefit that you definitel…

I'm not sure how it's done at Amazon - they are, after all, notorious for driving employees hard - but my understanding is that poor performance over a year or so is usually about the point at which firing begins to be discussed at large companies.

And the problem wasn't that he didn't want to perform or was intrinsically a bad employee; the problem was that he literally couldn't due to circumstance. It's not generous to say "well, find a way to work through your wife's brain cancer and we'll keep you on."

Re: My Wife Was Dying of Brain Cancer. My Boss at Amazon Told Me to Perform or Quit

#34

Post by slothtrop »

jen20 wrote: post #28
Traubenfuchs wrote: post #14

I don‘t understand how someone smart enough to make 300.000 a year (That is an insane fortune to almost everyone, even in first world countries) feels entitled to a month-, year-long reduction of performance expectations because of personal tragedy. There are thousands waiting for his position and they would kill to get it.

I don't understand how a company who has been paying someone 300,000/year (not a fortune for a FAANG, in the slightest) does not understand that by acting this way, they guarantee they will lose an employee when the situation is over, vs gaining loyalty from them.

Loyalty is a farce, there is none. And the vast majority of FAANG employees are replaceable.

Re: My Wife Was Dying of Brain Cancer. My Boss at Amazon Told Me to Perform or Quit

#35

Post by rewma »

Jiro wrote: post #6
mrRandomGuy wrote: post #5

Earlier quoted context omitted.

A 'normal' company would understand that while a persons significant other is dying of a cancer, their work output may suffer as a result.

If I was a plumber, and my wife was dying, and as a result I was unable to repair plumbing, I would not expect anyone to give me money to repair their plumbing, not even if I told them my wife is dying and they should be sympathetic.

> If I was a plumber, and my wife was dying, and as a result I was unable to repair plumbing, I would not expect anyone to give me money to repair their plumbing, not even if I told them my wife is dying and they should be sympathetic.

When I filed for paternity leave, I was paid quite a few weeks for not working at all, because the country where I live understands that workers are people who have lives and struggle with major life events.

It saddens me that some of us are so driven by self-contempt that don't realize they are far more than mindless organisms in a big Borg collective, ready and willing to be discarded whenever their productivity shows a drop.

Re: My Wife Was Dying of Brain Cancer. My Boss at Amazon Told Me to Perform or Quit

#37

Post by geodel »

mrRandomGuy wrote: post #5
CoastalCoder wrote: post #2

I read through the article. I really, really hurt for its author, and pray that I never face similar circumstances. It sounds like he's stinging from his manager not expressing enough empathy. But with the information in the article, I don't really understand what Amazon should have done differently. Unfortunately the article was vague about just how much the author was underperforming. Also, while I'm no fan of Amaz…

A 'normal' company would understand that while a persons significant other is dying of a cancer, their work output may suffer as a result.

A 'normal' company would give normal salary not these outsized Software salaries.

Re: My Wife Was Dying of Brain Cancer. My Boss at Amazon Told Me to Perform or Quit

#38

Post by ivraatiems »

MattGaiser wrote: post #31
ivraatiems wrote: post #8

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> Not to blame him, but it is unfortunate that he didn't have someone who could advise him that taking a hard job at a notoriously uncaring company with a sick wife would be unwise. This is blaming him. > The reality is that you might just need to terminate people who cannot perform, no matter what the reason. Or even better, give them a few months' leave at half or a quarter salary, or at least let them keep their b…

I am not blaming him as I don't think he knew. He is not at fault for not knowing. Just that for those who have heard what Amazon is like, that this end result was predictable and it is unfortunate that he didn't have that.

"What did you expect from Amazon" is a fair point, but in no way excuses Amazon whatsoever. They always have the opportunity to be better.

Re: My Wife Was Dying of Brain Cancer. My Boss at Amazon Told Me to Perform or Quit

#39

Post by oceanplexian »

asjldkfin wrote: post #12
starbugs wrote: post #7

Earlier quoted context omitted.

You behave like a human being with feelings. You do the best you can to support and help someone who suffers unbelievably and you f**ing show some empathy. This involves actually putting yourself in the shoes of someone else, yes. It means that you share a part of their suffering. You are dealing with a human, not a "resource" and not a machine. It sickens me to read stories like that to the point where I really cons…

If I'm paying a person $200-$300K to build a house and his wife gets cancer; it doesn't entitle him to keep my money. He gives it back because he didn't do his job. Same principle.

This is the right answer. Your safety net is your responsibility, not your company’s or the government’s (like it or not, this is the reality we live in today, in the USA). Making the high income that he does, it should have been trivial to save a few years worth of emergency fund for exactly this situation. If he had made different choices he would be able to take a year off and properly take care of his family, not blame Amazon for his life choices.

Re: My Wife Was Dying of Brain Cancer. My Boss at Amazon Told Me to Perform or Quit

#40

Post by lotsofpulp »

mrRandomGuy wrote: post #5
CoastalCoder wrote: post #2

I read through the article. I really, really hurt for its author, and pray that I never face similar circumstances. It sounds like he's stinging from his manager not expressing enough empathy. But with the information in the article, I don't really understand what Amazon should have done differently. Unfortunately the article was vague about just how much the author was underperforming. Also, while I'm no fan of Amaz…

A 'normal' company would understand that while a persons significant other is dying of a cancer, their work output may suffer as a result.

I do not know what a normal business is, but this is a luxury that a business with large margins and redundancies might have. A 7 eleven franchisee is not going to be able to afford that type of policy.
Post reply on HN