Good on him for coming out and saying it straight. So many people go through such discomfort and are constantly pressured by their environment to put up with it. You're not encouraged to say no. It is seen as unnatural. It is career limiting. I do believe the tech industry puts an unhealthy obsession on public speaking, to the extent that you aren't considered fit for leadership if you can't give public talks.
Stepping Back from Speaking
31–40 of 138 posts
Re: Stepping Back from Speaking
#32Fair play to him for coming forward and good luck, I say. I always assume that the people doing talks are eager to do so, or at the very least find the adrenaline etc of the "performance" worth it when compared to the nerves and work involved. I wonder if there are a lot of people in the "don't want to do this but feel I have to" category. (I have no interest in public speaking, and don't make any effort to be put in…
There's at least one high-profile performer that had to take a 5-year break because going on stage gave him anxiety attacks: Bo Burnham.
He does a good job describing the experience in this interview: https://youtu.be/GbS-7jUBJGY
Re: Stepping Back from Speaking
#33Martin - if you're here, and would want to continue speaking were it not for the physical problems you face - perhaps you should give beta blockers a shot? Side effects are uncommon, risks are low, addictive potential is low, so doctors are generally willing to prescribe them if the patient requests it. It sounds like you're just experiencing stage fright. Many professional performers get this way, and beta blockers…
Sure, he could pursue that...or he could just not do the thing that he hates in the first place, instead of putting foreign substances (with potential risks and side effects) in his body, so he can power through it and keep forcing it to happen.
Not all of us have that luxury, but he seems to.
Re: Stepping Back from Speaking
#34Good for him. As someone who struggles with serious anxiety issues I decided not to do interviewing anymore as it just became too debilitating - days of worrying before the interview, the feeling of dread and doom. That point in the interview when the interviewer says "Ok, now I'm going to ask you a few technical questions..." my heart rate would skyrocket and I'd start sweating perfusely. It's just really difficult to shine in an interview when you're also fighting to stay lucid, let alone calm. It's like there are all these processes that suddenly spin up and swamp your mental CPU. I'm retired from interviewing.
Re: Stepping Back from Speaking
#35Good for him. As someone who struggles with serious anxiety issues I decided not to do interviewing anymore as it just became too debilitating - days of worrying before the interview, the feeling of dread and doom. That point in the interview when the interviewer says "Ok, now I'm going to ask you a few technical questions..." my heart rate would skyrocket and I'd start sweating perfusely. It's just really difficult…
I mean this question is the most empathetic way possible, from a curiosity-based perspective, and feel free to tell me to shove off if you don't want to answer it.
How do you gain employment in the event you decide you need to leave your current place of employment?
Re: Stepping Back from Speaking
#36Good for him. As someone who struggles with serious anxiety issues I decided not to do interviewing anymore as it just became too debilitating - days of worrying before the interview, the feeling of dread and doom. That point in the interview when the interviewer says "Ok, now I'm going to ask you a few technical questions..." my heart rate would skyrocket and I'd start sweating perfusely. It's just really difficult…
I mean this question is the most empathetic way possible, from a curiosity-based perspective, and feel free to tell me to shove off if you don't want to answer it. How do you gain employment in the event you decide you need to leave your current place of employment?
I have no current place of employment. I'm fortunate to be able to live without paid work for a long while. I'm possibly even retired from paid work altogether and not just from interviewing. This has happened a few years earlier than I had thought it would. I'm definitely in the "leanfire" category - I can be retired, but I'm going to have to be pretty frugal.
That said, I do occasionally get contract gigs through people I've worked with in the past where there are no interviews required, it's more like "Hey, we need someone to do this project and we know you can do it because you've done similar in the past - can you help us out?"
Re: Stepping Back from Speaking
#37I can relate to the anxiety before something like that which often then disappears when you start. I feel similarly before technical interviews and it’s really unpleasant, the fear holds you back from doing things you’d otherwise want to do. It’s hard to evaluate sometimes or be honest with yourself if you’re making a decision based on what you want or if it’s a rationalization to avoid the fear. I often suspect a lo…
This is true of a lot of things. It also appears in athletics. Most competitors get very anxious. (Even Mike Tyson in his prime!) but once you’re in the zone, the anxiety goes away. We are all nervous in job interviews. The best ones flow once they start.
Yeah - I think it's a normal human experience, but there's a spectrum of intensity. It becomes a problem when it starts limiting you from doing what you want to do.
Bobby Fischer was also terrified before chess matches, Elon Musk says he's terrified of things failing all the time. I think bravery/courage it's not so much not being afraid, but being afraid and coming up with strategies to push through anyway.
For sports two tennis players come to mind too, Naomi Osaka recently but there was another earlier (I think Mardy Fish?).
I think different people feel the level of fear at different intensities though - probably a mixture of genetics and parenting. The physical symptoms are the worst part (waking up hyperventilating, etc.)
Re: Stepping Back from Speaking
#38I can relate to the anxiety before something like that which often then disappears when you start. I feel similarly before technical interviews and it’s really unpleasant, the fear holds you back from doing things you’d otherwise want to do. It’s hard to evaluate sometimes or be honest with yourself if you’re making a decision based on what you want or if it’s a rationalization to avoid the fear. I often suspect a lo…
I too get really anxious when I have to give a presentation or do an interview. Beta blockers like propranolol have been incredible for these moments. I don’t take them every time, and I luckily don’t face these situations very often. I wouldn’t encourage anyone to dedicate their life to a career that they need medication to survive, doesn’t seem like a good trade off to me. But if you find this to be a real negative…
Interesting about the beta blockers - docs mostly seem pretty clueless about this kind of thing and often suggest benzodiazepines (lorazepam, alprazolam, etc.) or SSRIs - neither of which I really want to take given their negative effects.
Re: Stepping Back from Speaking
#39Earlier quoted context omitted.
I mean this question is the most empathetic way possible, from a curiosity-based perspective, and feel free to tell me to shove off if you don't want to answer it. How do you gain employment in the event you decide you need to leave your current place of employment?
I have no current place of employment. I'm fortunate to be able to live without paid work for a long while. I'm possibly even retired from paid work altogether and not just from interviewing. This has happened a few years earlier than I had thought it would. I'm definitely in the "leanfire" category - I can be retired, but I'm going to have to be pretty frugal. That said, I do occasionally get contract gigs through p…
That's awesome to hear and I appreciate the answer!
Re: Stepping Back from Speaking
#40I can relate to the anxiety before something like that which often then disappears when you start. I feel similarly before technical interviews and it’s really unpleasant, the fear holds you back from doing things you’d otherwise want to do. It’s hard to evaluate sometimes or be honest with yourself if you’re making a decision based on what you want or if it’s a rationalization to avoid the fear. I often suspect a lo…
I too get really anxious when I have to give a presentation or do an interview. Beta blockers like propranolol have been incredible for these moments. I don’t take them every time, and I luckily don’t face these situations very often. I wouldn’t encourage anyone to dedicate their life to a career that they need medication to survive, doesn’t seem like a good trade off to me. But if you find this to be a real negative…
Yeah, seriously. A friend and I in college were talking about how we handle our pre-presentation nerves, and I was suggesting she should try deep breaths, counting to ten, etc.; meanwhile, she would routinely go into full-body fight-or-flight mode, panic attacks, barely able to speak.
Yeah... "count to ten" is probably insufficient for that! Her body needed more help managing her chemical response to stress. Same thing for her -- beta blockers (propranolol too, actually) were a complete life change.
Just to hit it on the head for anyone reading: everyone has anxiety, it's a normal part of life. If you find yourself physically incapacitated by anxiety on a regular basis, that's not something everyone deals with, and you can absolutely seek the help of a psychologist or psychiatrist!