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I will never not talk about my depression

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Re: I will never not talk about my depression

#31

Post by silicon2401 »

Mediterraneo10 wrote: post #25
gonehome wrote: post #3

I wonder how much making being depressed part of your identity prevents you from getting better. I'm not dismissing the reality of it, but reinforcing it to yourself and others around you on a constant basis probably isn't helpful? Constantly ruminating on your depressed state probably isn't good either. Pretending everything is great probably isn't a good idea or likely even possible (or desirable?), but I'm not per…

> I wonder how much making being depressed part of your identity prevents you from getting better. I had the same thought recently when Bikepacking.com posted a short video documentary about two obese women doing long-distance cycling. The women claimed that their goal was to end fat-shaming. Yet maintaining such a heavy weight while engaging in such physically demanding activity is difficult indeed. I therefore got…

I think that's probably the case in many scenarios. IMO people are often more resistant to change than they are drawn to improvement. That's why I think it's important to be careful what you base your identity on.

Re: I will never not talk about my depression

#32

Post by smoldesu »

wizzwizz4 wrote: post #19

There're a lot of people in the comments here who don't seem to know what depression is. Depression isn't just “I'm sad all the time”. Functionally, depression is a reduction in the set of actions that one can take. For some, it can be bad enough that “fill out this form, make this phone call, write the reference number on the form then post it” is too much. No, there's no reason they shouldn't be able to do that. Th…

I think the larger sentiment (and you're welcome to correct me if I'm wrong) is that dealing with depressed people is tiring. I have a few friends who deal with chronic depression, and getting their input on things or checking up on them is always a production. I still greatly appreciate their position in my life, but my sanity (and patience) is finite. More often than not, I'm equally (if not more) helpless, which makes it extremely difficult to disengage or move the discussion forwards.

I welcome an honest dialogue around mental health, but a dialogue requires two people to be dynamic. If the two become mutually incompatible, then there's effectively no way for me to contribute.

Re: I will never not talk about my depression

#33

Post by overgard »

I've quit a job because I was going through bad depression before and I didn't think I could do a good job. I even asked for part time work, so I understand where she's coming from, but..

In my opinion, this attitude she's portraying is a dangerous attitude to have. This victimhood seems core to her identity. I'm not trying to shame the condition, I'm trying to say that the condition shouldn't become some core part of your identity. Real phenomenon: Have you ever heard of cancer patients becoming depressed after they've gone into remission, because being a "cancer patient" essentially became a core of their identity, and once they no longer had it they became lost? You don't want your identity to be "depressed person", because the last thing you want is to start feeling like a fraud when the fog starts to lift.

Also, I'm just going to say, it's ok to want your employer to have empathy for you, but you also have to have empathy for them. If you're consistently telling them "well, so, I'm a good employee, but I might drop off the face of the earth for 4 months at a time".. what are they supposed to do?

Re: I will never not talk about my depression

#34

Post by mahathu »

> although the Covid-19 pandemic definitely hasn’t helped

If anything, people who have experienced depression before would be more capable and resilient when dealing with the pandemic restrictions. Because they're used to dealing with negativity. I know at least that was the case with me and some friends of mine who are also affected.

Re: I will never not talk about my depression

#35

Post by [deleted] »

andreyk wrote: post #18
gonehome wrote: post #3

I wonder how much making being depressed part of your identity prevents you from getting better. I'm not dismissing the reality of it, but reinforcing it to yourself and others around you on a constant basis probably isn't helpful? Constantly ruminating on your depressed state probably isn't good either. Pretending everything is great probably isn't a good idea or likely even possible (or desirable?), but I'm not per…

From my personal experience, depression is something that's there whether you think about it or not. Of course if you just think about it that'll just make things worse. But I don't think that's what this post is saying. The conclusion is - "The majority of people are still uncomfortable when I casually mention my depression, but that doesn’t silence me. I do this not to elicit pity, or to be inspiration porn about o…

[deleted]

Re: I will never not talk about my depression

#36

Post by abnry »

wizzwizz4 wrote: post #19

There're a lot of people in the comments here who don't seem to know what depression is. Depression isn't just “I'm sad all the time”. Functionally, depression is a reduction in the set of actions that one can take. For some, it can be bad enough that “fill out this form, make this phone call, write the reference number on the form then post it” is too much. No, there's no reason they shouldn't be able to do that. Th…

> There're a lot of people in the comments here who don't seem to know what depression is.

There is a lot of people who don't seem to know what depression is because no one really knows what is depression.

It is complex, it is multi-faceted, it can be subtle, it can be overt. It varies from person to person. It varies in causes.

Re: I will never not talk about my depression

#37

Post by mahathu »

wizzwizz4 wrote: post #19

There're a lot of people in the comments here who don't seem to know what depression is. Depression isn't just “I'm sad all the time”. Functionally, depression is a reduction in the set of actions that one can take. For some, it can be bad enough that “fill out this form, make this phone call, write the reference number on the form then post it” is too much. No, there's no reason they shouldn't be able to do that. Th…

"Depression" is more the term our medical community has today to describe low mood, lack of energy, loss of interest et al.

It's important to understand that there exists no weird illness that is causing these symptoms. Instead, the symptoms can have all sorts of roots, but depression is just what we call them.

Re: I will never not talk about my depression

#38

Post by threwway »

mumblemumble wrote: post #10
gonehome wrote: post #3

I wonder how much making being depressed part of your identity prevents you from getting better. I'm not dismissing the reality of it, but reinforcing it to yourself and others around you on a constant basis probably isn't helpful? Constantly ruminating on your depressed state probably isn't good either. Pretending everything is great probably isn't a good idea or likely even possible (or desirable?), but I'm not per…

There's a saying therapists use, "What we resist persists." The research has shown that being open with others about your experience alleviates the symptoms of depression, including constant rumination. Putting on a happy face for the benefit of others, on the other hand, tends to make it much, much worse. There are of course confounding factors like whether the person has a victimization complex or whatever, but tho…

>The research has shown that being open with others about your experience alleviates the symptoms of depression, including constant rumination.

Hello! Could you direct me to said research if you know where it is? I'm not aware of it, and haven't seen it recommended anywhere. I'd be genuinely interested to know if it checks out.

Re: I will never not talk about my depression

#39

Post by underseacables »

When I had depression I found it very therapeutic to talk about it, to put it out in the open, but I also ran into a lot of people who couldn’t stop talking about their depression. at some point talking about your depression is just as depressing to others as the depression itself

Re: I will never not talk about my depression

#40

Post by DoreenMichele »

From what I gather, there are some studies that show that dietary intervention helps and that piece of it seems to boil down to "some foods promote brain inflammation and this makes depression worse."

My personal opinion is that a lot of what gets currently classified as mental illness would be best seen as a somatopsychic side effects of actual physical illness.

I have a really serious and incurable medical condition. Somatopsychic side effects are a big part of my life. In many cases, I have figured out "This specific mental or emotional thing indicates this specific nutrient deficiency." And the treatment ends up being "Eat foods high in that nutrient."

Having said that, I think a large part of mental illness is really "you are a product of your social environment and the world can sometimes be amazingly talented at driving you crazy."

But to whatever degree mental illness has roots in actual biology, I really think it should be viewed as illness not mental illness.

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