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Myths About Introverts

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Re: Myths About Introverts

#31

Post by pavel_lishin »

Shenglong wrote: post #18

Myth #10 – Introverts can fix themselves and become Extroverts. I don't know if "fix" is the right word in the complete, but they can definitely change. I used to follow that list pretty closely - and while there's nothing intrinsically wrong with that, I realized that it can be extremely socially disadvantageous. Regardless of how smart someone is, it's an undeniable fact that in this world, almost all the time, you…

But do you enjoy acting extroverted? Do you enjoy gossipping and seeking out drama? Do you get bored when you've been alone for too long?

Re: Myths About Introverts

#32

Post by drblast »

The assumption that there's something wrong with not interacting with other people eagerly and often strikes me as oddly egotistical. Other people aren't alive solely for the enjoyment of extraverts.

The "problem," if there is one, is that extraverts are uncomfortable and find it difficult to interact with introverts. But this is as much the fault of extraverted people as it is of introverted people. They speak a different language and need to meet halfway to interact effectively.

Due to the personality type, however, the extraverts see this as a huge problem while the introverts really don't care all that much.

What if we asked the obvious counter-question: Why are extraverts so threatened by anyone who won't interact with them on their terms?

Nobody asks that because extraverts get a pass on this; it's the introvert's fault when social interaction between and extravert and an intravert is uncomfortable.

I can see why that would happen but it's odd.

Re: Myths About Introverts

#34

Post by pavel_lishin »

rapind wrote: post #26

#1 Introverts are not introverts. It's a generalization and simplification that's more often wrong than right.

Can you expand on that? I sort of want to downvote you because what you said didn't make sense.

Type-A personalities aren't Type-A personalities.

Re: Myths About Introverts

#35

Post by davidcuddeback »

wccrawford wrote: post #9
tcskeptic wrote: post #6

Myth #3 – Introverts are rude. Introverts often don’t see a reason for beating around the bush with social pleasantries. They want everyone to just be real and honest. Yes, this is often called being rude. It may be true that by this guys definition introverts don't mean to be rude, but if a person (introvert or otherwise) acts as described above, that is rude.

Actually, you'll find that in some places, it isn't rude to be straightforward and honest. And even blunt. You have to actually start insulting people to be considered 'rude' in those places. Introverts like those places.

Which places are those? Are you talking about geographical locations, or do you mean "places" like in a focus group or an R&D department? If there is a geographical location where the cultural norm is to be straightforward and honest, I would like to visit there to see what it is like.

Re: Myths About Introverts

#36

Post by SoftwareMaven »

ignifero wrote: post #13
jhamburger wrote: post #10

Here's a myth held by introverts. Introverts (rightly) believe that extroverts don't understand them, but they don't understand extroverts as well as they think they do. Case in point, the commonly held belief on HN that extroverts mostly BS their way through life while the introverts are doing the real work. In reality we introverts probably don't understand how incredibly nuanced seemingly superficial relationships…

As an introvert, i understand very well how extroverts think. For years i tried to become more extroverted, only to discover at a certain point that it's a dysfunctional path that leads to a superficial, seemingly fullfilling but unfocused and non-goal-directed lives. The nuance of conversation is a charm, it fades fast. The way I see it is time management: life is short, do you want to spend most of it dealing with…

I don't think you could have come up with a comment that more perfectly illustrated the GP's comments. An introvert trying to understand being an extrovert is like a white guy trying to understand what it's like to be black. It's not who you are, so no amount of pretending is going to give you a true understanding.

I'm very much an introvert, but over the years, I've learned that networking is a critical part of being successful in any business endeavor, and it is nearly impossible to network following typical introvert patterns. As a result, I will go up to a group standing around at a social event, throw out my hand, and say "Hi, I'm Travis. What's your name?" even though I hate every second of it (and, given the sieve my brain is when it comes to names, I will likely forget before we are done talking :/).

Given that, I don't believe for an instant that I understand being an extrovert. My wife is the prototypical extrovert. She will have life-long friends within minutes of entering a room full of people she's never met before. I will never understand how she does it, but more importantly, I will never understand why she does it.

Re: Myths About Introverts

#37

Post by MatthewPhillips »

tcskeptic wrote: post #6

Myth #3 – Introverts are rude. Introverts often don’t see a reason for beating around the bush with social pleasantries. They want everyone to just be real and honest. Yes, this is often called being rude. It may be true that by this guys definition introverts don't mean to be rude, but if a person (introvert or otherwise) acts as described above, that is rude.

I think he was hitting on the notion that introverts might be quiet at a party and this is considered rude for not making the rounds and bullshitting with every one there. That might go against social norm, but it's not being rude.

Re: Myths About Introverts

#38

Post by uniclaude »

This article does not seem to describe Introverts, but more INTJ/INTP types. Neither all introverts like to solve problems or puzzles, nor they all take data and experience very quickly.

Re: Myths About Introverts

#39

Post by Monkeyget »

46Bit wrote: post #8
tcskeptic wrote: post #6

Myth #3 – Introverts are rude. Introverts often don’t see a reason for beating around the bush with social pleasantries. They want everyone to just be real and honest. Yes, this is often called being rude. It may be true that by this guys definition introverts don't mean to be rude, but if a person (introvert or otherwise) acts as described above, that is rude.

If we're going to keep to narrow introvert/extrovert definitions here, then to an extrovert only is that rude. Personally I find small talk and social pleasantries little more than a way to waste time and pretend you care more than you really do. I rely on the pretty sensible concept that if someone has anything important to tell me, they'll come out with it. Besides, the internet is wonderful for me because social n…

Social niceties serve as a grease that makes the social interaction go smoothly. By avoiding those and being frank and direct you only introduce sand in the mechanism.

There was a wonderful quote to this effect a while ago on HN but I can't quite find it.

Re: Myths About Introverts

#40

Post by mkr-hn »

Monkeyget wrote: post #39
46Bit wrote: post #8

Earlier quoted context omitted.

If we're going to keep to narrow introvert/extrovert definitions here, then to an extrovert only is that rude. Personally I find small talk and social pleasantries little more than a way to waste time and pretend you care more than you really do. I rely on the pretty sensible concept that if someone has anything important to tell me, they'll come out with it. Besides, the internet is wonderful for me because social n…

Social niceties serve as a grease that makes the social interaction go smoothly. By avoiding those and being frank and direct you only introduce sand in the mechanism. There was a wonderful quote to this effect a while ago on HN but I can't quite find it.

How does it introduce sand without one party deciding it's going to create friction? It wouldn't exist between two no-need-for-pleasantries people.
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