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What If You Could Do It All Over?

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Re: What If You Could Do It All Over?

#31

Post by sanderjd »

imgabe wrote: post #9
person_of_color wrote: post #2

Definitely not be a software engineer. No one told me how incredibly low the social status is. EDIT: I guess it was suspicious that 99% of my high school circle picked law or finance or business courses instead.

Don't get a job based on how impressive it sounds when you tell people about it at parties. You will spend far more time doing the job than you will talking about it at parties.

Talking about your job at parties is way down the list of reasons social status matters. It's a fair point that people shouldn't make all their decisions with status in mind, but it is also wrong to belittle it as a consideration.

Re: What If You Could Do It All Over?

#32

Post by Wilem82 »

person_of_color wrote: post #2

Definitely not be a software engineer. No one told me how incredibly low the social status is. EDIT: I guess it was suspicious that 99% of my high school circle picked law or finance or business courses instead.

“Social status” is an artificial circlejerk concept, why do you care?

Re: What If You Could Do It All Over?

#33

Post by sanderjd »

ronyeh wrote: post #15
person_of_color wrote: post #2

Definitely not be a software engineer. No one told me how incredibly low the social status is. EDIT: I guess it was suspicious that 99% of my high school circle picked law or finance or business courses instead.

Upvoted though I disagree with you. I'm sure there is a wide variance of outcomes in software, but I think if you work at it, you can make a fulfilling career out of software. Don't give up, as it is possible your current job just isn't a right fit for you. Counter anecdote: I know law and finance and business folks who wished they studied more computers.

In my experience that's because they think our work is easier and that we do less of it than they do, for more pay. But that actually goes to the parent's point; lazy entitled and overpaid is part of the low status perception.

Re: What If You Could Do It All Over?

#34

Post by imgabe »

nickthemagicman wrote: post #24
imgabe wrote: post #9

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Don't get a job based on how impressive it sounds when you tell people about it at parties. You will spend far more time doing the job than you will talking about it at parties.

Yeah but you'll take home way more dates at those parties.

That's fine if you're OK with the kinds of dates that go home with you because of your impressive-sounding job.

Re: What If You Could Do It All Over?

#35

Post by WrtCdEvrydy »

person_of_color wrote: post #2

Definitely not be a software engineer. No one told me how incredibly low the social status is. EDIT: I guess it was suspicious that 99% of my high school circle picked law or finance or business courses instead.

What exactly is the social status you were looking for?

Re: What If You Could Do It All Over?

#36

Post by jackcosgrove »

quickthrower2 wrote: post #17

It’s worth thinking about how we measure how “good” a life is and if that is superficial and too much influenced by fashion. For example the cliche is go travelling or get rich starting a business. “I raised kids” doesn’t have the same boastworthyness in a lot of circles, but arguably it’s more interesting. Or maybe not. What’s the life well lived metric?

I recently became acquainted with the teachings of Epicurus. He advocated living a simple life of simple pleasures surrounded by friends. It's almost a truism that seeking fame and fortune is a route to unhappiness. Not necessarily because these are bad things, but because the desires that drive these choices seem to be insatiable.

Re: What If You Could Do It All Over?

#37

Post by colmvp »

I don't have a kid, but I tell my nieces/nephews that while they are young to search for and practice something that interests them. Could be painting, coding, dancing, chess, languages, music, karate... anything that they enjoy doing that involves being an active participant in the process. Because by the time they are in their late teens / early 20s, they'll have thousands of hours of practice under their belt and opportunities available to them by dint of that mastery.

I don't regret my childhood largely because it's immutable, but when I reflect upon it I would've preferred to have spent a lot less time playing video games.

Re: What If You Could Do It All Over?

#38

Post by bcrosby95 »

person_of_color wrote: post #2

Definitely not be a software engineer. No one told me how incredibly low the social status is. EDIT: I guess it was suspicious that 99% of my high school circle picked law or finance or business courses instead.

Funny. I'm disappointed by the status it's gained over the last 20 years. I miss when it was even lower status than it is now.

Re: What If You Could Do It All Over?

#39

Post by antisthenes »

Haul4ss wrote: post #23

You can't, so don't bother thinking about it. You can make changes today that will pay dividends in 10 years, so maybe focus on that instead. I was widowed pretty young (as widowers go), so I have done my share of playing the what-if game with the past. Ultimately it is not a productive exercise, and I try not to do it. If I catch myself dwelling in unlived lives, I try to refocus on the one still in front of me.

I came to the same conclusion.

It's tempting to lay in bed after a bad life event, thinking about turning back the clock, but that never ever leads to anything productive or positive.

Best case scenario is you can't fall asleep until 4AM and screw up your sleep schedule for a week. Worst case is you start exhibiting learned helplessness and go into depression for a year or several.

I always try to refocus and think about what I can do for the people who were there for me during bad times, and how I can learn from my misfortune. (Sometimes, there's nothing to learn and it's just a bad stroke of luck. Even then - it's not going to help playing the what-if game)

Ultimately we are the people we are both because of good and bad things that happened to us.

Re: What If You Could Do It All Over?

#40

Post by chki »

quickthrower2 wrote: post #17

It’s worth thinking about how we measure how “good” a life is and if that is superficial and too much influenced by fashion. For example the cliche is go travelling or get rich starting a business. “I raised kids” doesn’t have the same boastworthyness in a lot of circles, but arguably it’s more interesting. Or maybe not. What’s the life well lived metric?

I mean that's just straight-up asking for the purpose of life: You can't possibly give a rational logical answer. It's (quite beautifully in my opinion) one of those questions that everybody can only answer for themselves.
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