Life Without Children

No you won't, and no they don't. Most people will be forgotten within a couple of generations -- or are you well-versed in the lives of your great-great grandparents? Your genes, random and (thus, probably) non-special as they are, will be insignificant within four generations.

> You know that pang in your chest when you see the beautiful family walking down the street?

Kids or not, unless you're incredibly skilled and/or lucky, your contribution to the world will be forgotten within a couple of hundred years and likely much sooner. Once you come to terms with that, life gets much better. Be kind to people, make thoughtful choices, and live the best life you can today.

The way I see it, all this weird and baseless moral panic you've identified tends to resemble clinical depression in an individual. People through their own analysis abstract out what they perceive to be problems, then they market and promote their perceived problems to others and all the hope and despair that comes from learning to perceive those things as problems. Next thing you know, society starts looking like it is clinically depressed and you get people spouting viewpoints like "this is the worst time ever to raise children".

In a similar vein, the experience of schizophrenia seems to parallel the authoritative information "dilemma" known as "fake news" that we're struggling with as a society. Fake news is now pervasive on both the left and the right either in the form of outright lies at worst to deliberate omission of counterbalancing information to serve and agenda. I'm reminded of this Quora question where people with schizophrenia describe what it's like to be schizophrenic:

https://www.quora.com/What-is-it-like-to-have-schizophrenia-...

Having children requires sacrifices. As with any decision, there is an inevitable cost of opportunity, but what we get from caring for these loved little human beings... Is priceless!

I understand the narrative of the author. This is a narrative of an individual whose core values are "success", material accumulation as proof of it, and individual freedoms. It is true, having children will require a lot of "operation expenses", and much of the time available for "yourself" needs to be invested into your children. I respect that for some people it is not a sacrifice that they are willing to do, and I don't think people should have children because it is the next step.

But I see a problem in this narrative, and it is that it describes having children as a mistake. Again, it is a mistake for the author, but I can hardly see how it is a "universal mistake". It reminds me a bit of game theory, and the idea of "Nash's equilibrium": Players are the society as a whole, some choose to have kids, some choose not to have kids, both have a penalty, yet in the long run they both benefit from their choices (individually and mutually).

I am also concerned about empathy. Daily I realize how difficult it is for some people without children to understand my choice, and the sacrifices it requires. Yes I am happy with my choice, but lack of empathy makes it particularly difficult to avoid choices with a larger cost than it should: Should I stay with my kids when they are sick? Or go to that meeting that is (as most meetings) better done as an email ;). My kids need me, emotionally. If I am with them, I am making a world of a difference for them... and in the future for society, because they will have safe attachment!

The reality is Humanity needs people to choose to have children, not all of us, some of us. We, having children, need empathy, recognition, and help from society. I don't think science and technology are going to solve the need for childhood anytime soon.

But I understand, you don't want to have kids. Good for you! Some people will even thank you, don't succumb to the pressure to have them "because it is next", and most importantly... Please don't forget you are here because someone did the best they could to bring you to this world (and probably made some mistakes, but mostly, they just wanted the best for you).

PS: It also comes to mind "Sapiens: A Brief History of Humankind" by Yuval Harari... Not so much on topic, but I like the door it opens for empathy via the understanding of different narratives, and how they are just constructs.