I used to fear being a nobody, then I left social media

Never heard of you before mabbo, and I read the comments here every day. If that gives you any motivation to quit.

Good counter-point.

A social network is not inherently bad. It could be a simple extension of our analog life, a simple tool to stay in contact with friends an family or share things with people that we do not have regular interactions with in our day to day life.

The problem is not the social media, but the way is has been instrumentalized to capture our attention, since this is the product being sold to advertisers. All the mechanisms to keep the user hooked -- akin to the way slot machines work -- have been pointed out many times already.

It doesn't have to be that way, we could design a neutral platform that is built around fostering personal connections with the people we care about.

Yeah, it's definitely a mixed bag.

In some ways, my mental health has improved since I'm not chasing online validation/FOMO all the time. My current friends don't use Facebook a ton, so organizing happens via text or other methods.

But for my college/HS friends, I'm definitely less close because I'm not present in the online arenas that they socialize in. Hopefully I can get back into social media without partaking in all the behaviors that made me quit it in the fist place.

I used to think I was using Facebook to stay in touch with people. But I really didn't enjoy using it, so I decided to challenge my assumptions. I went through 3 months of my activity, and saw that the overwhelming majority of what I was doing was sharing links that had no engagement. Personal photos got some likes, but just like. I maybe sent one or two messages. I was barely staying connected to people like I thought I was. So I left Facebook without regret.

I don't feel out of the loop, though. I text or email friends and ask them what's going on. If there's an event I ought to go to, one of them usually lets me know. It's more effort, but I think that's a benefit: relationships based on scrolling through feeds and liking stuff are pretty shallow. And I don't let myself feel bad if I do miss something, because I know that's a small price to pay to excise that source of anxiety from my life.

Recycled comment of mine from a few weeks ago here. Note: I was told NLP[0] (Neuro Linguistic Programming) was not cast in a good light in its Wikipedia entry, and I admit it has its weaknesses, but I was inspired by the fact Tony Robbins used elements of it in his seminars. Certain parts of NLP appeal to me, but some don't and can be denounced as pseudoscience/quackery.

Below is the original comment:

____________________________________________

I tend to stay away from Instagram as I once read a study (too lazy to find the paper) that Instagram is more detrimental to mental health than other social networks and is generally to be avoided (partly this is because you are comparing other people's highlight reel to your boring drab life).

I use Facebook, albeit sparingly and only ever to make meaningful interactions with my family, and nothing else. I don't feverishly 'check in' to locations, don't engage in 'groups', don't 'like' a million-and-one things, or otherwise engage in the Facebook app in any big way. It means Facebook can't build a dossier of my interests, although they do know my social graph, but then: I'm not a person of interest anyway. I am actually very forgettable.

For Twitter, I have a locked down account and only follow what I'm interested in. I don't actively seek to get more followers, and have literally nothing in my bio that is about me. I don't use my real name. My account is purely for discovery of positive news, and content that stimulates me intellectually.

I recently started to experiment with Neuro Linguistic Programming[0] and a big part of that is deciding what you pay attention to (especially online) and feeding your brain with content that enables you to grow as a person and not be bogged down with negative content that only appeals to your 'monkey brain'. I haven't gone to extremes by cutting out all social media, instead I just use it mindfully and by carefully choosing the types of content I consume.

[0] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Neuro-linguistic_programming