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Are we happier when we spend more time with others?

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Re: Are we happier when we spend more time with others?

#31

Post by onion2k »

chewz wrote: post #28
jerryuen wrote: post #4

I found this study to be a good reference but I question how useful some of the data are for 20-30 years old people nowadays because: 1. The study started in 1938, which is a very different time comparing to today. Young people has way more options to enjoy life alone such as traveling, playing video games, watching youtube by themselves just to name a few. 2. The participants are mostly 90 years old now and it is un…

> Young people has way more options to enjoy life such as traveling, playing video games, watching youtube by themselves This is killing time not enjoying life.

I can understand someone thinking video games and YouTube are just killing time (although I don't agree), but traveling? That's pretty much universally accepted as one of the best things you can do to improve yourself.

Re: Are we happier when we spend more time with others?

#32

Post by chewz »

onion2k wrote: post #31
chewz wrote: post #28

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> Young people has way more options to enjoy life such as traveling, playing video games, watching youtube by themselves This is killing time not enjoying life.

I can understand someone thinking video games and YouTube are just killing time (although I don't agree), but traveling ? That's pretty much universally accepted as one of the best things you can do to improve yourself.

This is a cliche about traveling. Most young people that I have seen traveling in Thailand or Bali do not seem like improving themselves.

Only few are genuinely interested in the world around them.

Of course we will need some data to support my point :-)

Re: Are we happier when we spend more time with others?

#33

Post by ghi5goio3qno4i3 »

rjf72 wrote: post #25
ghi5goio3qno4i3 wrote: post #3

I've always wondered about these kinds of studies. For example, let's say we took a loner and gave them a 24/7 health monitor system that also helped apply preventative and corrective treatments, would someone live just as long as someone with a social support network? Presumably at some point in the near future we're going reach that level of technical accessibility for the average consumer, I would wonder perhaps i…

The BBC ran a phenomenal article here [1] detailing a wide array of data on the longevity of people through the ages. How long did higher class Ancient Greeks live? Ancient Greece dates back to starting around 3,300 years ago. In spite of their remarkable technological achievements they remained almost entirely ignorant of medicine. They relied on a system based around the 'four humors' - blood, phlegm, yellow/black…

True but I was referring specifically to a line in the article attributed to one of the director's of the study:

"Robert Waldinger, the current director of the study, summarized – in what is now one of the most viewed TED Talks to date – the findings from decades of research. The main result, he concluded, is that social connections are one of the most important factors for people’s happiness and health. He said: “Those who kept warm relationships got to live longer and happier, and the loners often died earlier”."

Hence why I was musing about whether it was conclusive to actually say that the whether it was that act of having close relationships itself that made him see this result, or if the longevity he was seeing was a result of the inherent monitoring and support that occurs with peers. For instance, a spouse may notice a lump on her partner's back, or friends pitching in after someone is let go from a job. If we could somehow control for that support network, would that equalize the life spans of people in a study like this?

To be fair, this is just useless speculation. I doubt very much that it would be possible to run an experiment like this.

Re: Are we happier when we spend more time with others?

#34

Post by kr4 »

axaxs wrote: post #22

Anecdotally... I am, but I seem doomed. I'm not really antisocial. In fact, I can become overtalkative at times when in a social setting. But, given the option, I never seem to want to 'get out' and socialize. Though, when I force myself to, I am in such a better mood for a few days. Then, back to normal, and avoiding social gatherings again until the next time.

I think the key to attain ever-lasting happiness is to commit ourselves to doing kind or selfless deeds as a habit [0]. Scientifically it's been observed that when we make someone happy the same region lights up in our brain [1] when we do something to make ourselves happy.

Coupled with meditation that makes you more mindful so you can be more kind (kindfullness), you can attain a state of mind in which you can remain happy most of the time. The problems of the world will continue to be there but those will decreasingly have lesser impact on your inner state of happiness.

0: I track and share my random act of kindness (RAKs) on Black Lotus along with logging/measuring my meditation/chanting sessions (https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.rt.pinpric... )

1: https://www.huffpost.com/entry/want-to-be-happier-give-m_b_6...

Re: Are we happier when we spend more time with others?

#35

Post by ycombinete »

Ididntdothis wrote: post #2

I think the real value of spending time with others is having a support network. I often don't do well in groups and simply don't enjoy it so I do a lot of things alone. But the major drawback is that I don't have much of a support network outside of close family. I am definitely worried that if something happens to me nobody will help me.

There are proximate causes, and ultimate causes. You have identified an ultimate cause for social behavior. A proximate cause would be that we do it because it makes us feel better.

Re: Are we happier when we spend more time with others?

#36

Post by gowld »

rjf72 wrote: post #25
ghi5goio3qno4i3 wrote: post #3

I've always wondered about these kinds of studies. For example, let's say we took a loner and gave them a 24/7 health monitor system that also helped apply preventative and corrective treatments, would someone live just as long as someone with a social support network? Presumably at some point in the near future we're going reach that level of technical accessibility for the average consumer, I would wonder perhaps i…

The BBC ran a phenomenal article here [1] detailing a wide array of data on the longevity of people through the ages. How long did higher class Ancient Greeks live? Ancient Greece dates back to starting around 3,300 years ago. In spite of their remarkable technological achievements they remained almost entirely ignorant of medicine. They relied on a system based around the 'four humors' - blood, phlegm, yellow/black…

> It seems to suggest that a large part of our increased life expectancy is not from the trillions of dollars we've spent on trying to find a [profit making] pill for everything, but instead from very simple things like access to clean water and food.

That's a massive leap.

Other things that killed a lot of young people are:

* childbirth

* infection

* disease, including the occasional plague that decimates a population.

Not to mention the quality of life difference of not losing non-fatal body parts and function to disease and infection.

Re: Are we happier when we spend more time with others?

#37

Post by idoubtit »

rjf72 wrote: post #25
ghi5goio3qno4i3 wrote: post #3

I've always wondered about these kinds of studies. For example, let's say we took a loner and gave them a 24/7 health monitor system that also helped apply preventative and corrective treatments, would someone live just as long as someone with a social support network? Presumably at some point in the near future we're going reach that level of technical accessibility for the average consumer, I would wonder perhaps i…

The BBC ran a phenomenal article here [1] detailing a wide array of data on the longevity of people through the ages. How long did higher class Ancient Greeks live? Ancient Greece dates back to starting around 3,300 years ago. In spite of their remarkable technological achievements they remained almost entirely ignorant of medicine. They relied on a system based around the 'four humors' - blood, phlegm, yellow/black…

This BBC article intends to surprise the reader, and I think the reader has to be extremly cautious with its content. Yet, it briefly mentions that the Roman longevity concerned only the nobility.

> all working-class people who were buried in common graves. The average age of death was 30, and that wasn’t a mere statistical quirk

Back to the BBC article, some of its source are dubious, and I suppose they were selected only because of their "selling power". For instance, the paper on Victorian life expectancy was debated here[^0] with much skepticism.

[^0]: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=14586145

Re: Are we happier when we spend more time with others?

#38

Post by randomsearch »

kr4 wrote: post #34
axaxs wrote: post #22

Anecdotally... I am, but I seem doomed. I'm not really antisocial. In fact, I can become overtalkative at times when in a social setting. But, given the option, I never seem to want to 'get out' and socialize. Though, when I force myself to, I am in such a better mood for a few days. Then, back to normal, and avoiding social gatherings again until the next time.

I think the key to attain ever-lasting happiness is to commit ourselves to doing kind or selfless deeds as a habit [0]. Scientifically it's been observed that when we make someone happy the same region lights up in our brain [1] when we do something to make ourselves happy. Coupled with meditation that makes you more mindful so you can be more kind (kindfullness), you can attain a state of mind in which you can remai…

Sharing this because I said it the other day and it seemed to resonate.

Happiness is overvalued. Meaning or purpose is undervalued.

Happiness is based on a transition: something new, a change of circumstances, and is by its nature temporary. Meaning and purpose are long term.

Seek meaning, not happiness.

Re: Are we happier when we spend more time with others?

#40

Post by jvvw »

Hmmm, what about social contact with family members? How long does the interaction need to be to count? Would coffee qualify or chatting to other parents for five minutes each day on the school run? Once a month does feel like a very low threshold to me - but I can see how a lot of people's social contact could be dominated by family. It'd be interesting to distinguish between that and no social contact at all.
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