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The Hot Girl Effect and Networking

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Re: The Hot Girl Effect and Networking

#31

Post by CallMeV »

I believe I first encountered the description of this phenomenon in one of Leil Lowndes' books, "How To Talk To Anyone" IIRC.

And I encountered the phenomenon IRL a good few years back at a convention, where I had a really nice conversation with an actress who played a major role in a prominent SF series. Apparently, I was one of a few people who'd even just stopped to ask her how she was enjoying the show: everyone else was either staff, stewards or fanbois who only wanted her autograph, photo or both.

I got to sit with her and her retinue later that night in the hotel restaurant: a dinner date I'll never forget.

The Hot Girl effect is pretty real. And if you can get past that barrier of your own fears to approach the unapproachable, yet retain your humility as you do so, the rewards can often be awesome and memorable.

Re: The Hot Girl Effect and Networking

#32

Post by ShardPhoenix »

losvedir wrote: post #9
kungfooey wrote: post #2

Is this for real? Is there any science to support the anecdotal experience of "the hot girl effect"?

OKCupid does interesting analyses of their user data. Here's a post looking at the impact of attractiveness on messaging rates ( http://blog.okcupid.com/index.php/your-looks-and-online-dati... ). Looks like, at least for their users, the "hot girl effect" is not real; the more attractive the girl, the lower the probability of a successful response.

Good data, but online dating may be different due to the lower perceived cost of approaches and rejection.

Re: The Hot Girl Effect and Networking

#33

Post by CallMeV »

acgourley wrote: post #27
Jun8 wrote: post #3

Here's a much better analysis of this phenomenon: http://plus.maths.org/issue51/features/rey/index.html , even deriving a mathematical model. I think the same kind of thing holds true for attractive ideas as well: For ideas with killer potential, people tend to say "Oh, somebody surely must have implemented it, is looking into it", etc.) and not to push on. Until someone either ignorant of the idealand layout or too…

Can you list some of the examples? I actually personally find that instinct to be true in almost all cases, but would be happy to be wrong about it.

Personal experience - The author, Stephen Baxter, at a signing at the old Andromeda SF bookshop in Birmingham, UK, looked pretty sad because, despite being surrounded by fans, nobody actually wanted to approach him.

The legendary Kenny "R2D2" Baker at a convention I attended looked dreadfully alone; nobody even wanted to go up and ask for his autograph.

At the same convention there was a massive guy dressed like a Klingon warrior. He actually looked a little uncertain until I came up and regaled him with a couple of Klingon words. Then we got into some curse warfare and he was in his element. Yes, I speak Klingon as well.

I can cite many such examples, usually of some TV or movie celeb attending a convention and looking so bored, sitting there on his own. Dirk Benedict. Erik Menyuk. Michael Dorn. Many others.

Re: The Hot Girl Effect and Networking

#34

Post by JanezStupar »

rue wrote: post #25
dandelany wrote: post #17

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> people evaluate their actual value and see that it probably is not enough to make it worth their while approaching this person. Cost: Awkwardness, potential for embarrassing rejection. Benefit: Possible relationship, either short-term or long-term, with the subject of your admiration. So in my mind, if you can get over the fear of rejection, there's no reason not to at least try. Coffee with a CEO is better than no…

There is also cost of your time for the coffee and whatever may follow, as well as material costs (potentially high when dealing with upper-echelon), so it is not an outright win situation.

No risk no glory!

Only the ones that are willing to fail repeatedly are the ones who deserve to win. What I'm trying to imply here that taking risks while maximizing your odds is also a skill.

A super hot woman (or GS executive) both appreciate confidence and candor. They don't want to be treated as "different" - to return to that hot woman - she doesn't want to be treated as special. Looking into mirror is enough to get her depressed. She wants to feel ordinary, to be appreciated for being a woman or at least not a freak.

Re: The Hot Girl Effect and Networking

#35

Post by Charuru »

maxklein wrote: post #6

The theory above is short term (get a date), when there is also the long term consideration (marry her, have kids). If you are an average joe, the chances of you having kids with a hot top model are, very frankly, very low. And we guys know that. In the same way, the chance of us having a nice chat with the CEO of Goldman is fair, but the chance of him maintaining contact with us and being a friend or mentor is prett…

It really shouldn't matter to you what long term value you have to offer her. Being able to take a picture with her and put it on your Facebook albums is worth quite a bit imo.

There's no legitimate excuse not to try to associate with higher value people, you can only go up.

Re: The Hot Girl Effect and Networking

#36

Post by paulbaumgart »

mindcrime wrote: post #8
espadagroup wrote: post #5

I'm going to go ahead and say that "the hot girl effect" is not true, at least for women. The hotter you are the more you'll get hit on, guaranteed. Which leaves the theory behind this interaction up for grabs :)

There are a lot of variables in play, and I really have no idea if this holds up for any particular woman or not. But as a guy, who spends a lot of time talking to other guys about approaching / meeting / dating women, I can definitely say that - in my experience - there is absolutely an "intimidation" effect where men will avoid the hotter women because they assume that: A. "she's out of my league and wouldn't be in…

http://twitter.com/#!/shitmydadsays/status/4811790555

Re: The Hot Girl Effect and Networking

#37

Post by Jun8 »

acgourley wrote: post #27
Jun8 wrote: post #3

Here's a much better analysis of this phenomenon: http://plus.maths.org/issue51/features/rey/index.html , even deriving a mathematical model. I think the same kind of thing holds true for attractive ideas as well: For ideas with killer potential, people tend to say "Oh, somebody surely must have implemented it, is looking into it", etc.) and not to push on. Until someone either ignorant of the idealand layout or too…

Can you list some of the examples? I actually personally find that instinct to be true in almost all cases, but would be happy to be wrong about it.

I think the examples fall into two categories:

* There's an obviously good idea, people have tried it and "proved" that it cannot be done. Then somebody ignorant of this fact goes ahead and does it anyway. A famous example of this is Spencer Silver of 3M inventing the adhesive for the Post-It notes. He is quoted to say "If I had thought about it, I wouldn't have done the experiment. The literature was full of examples that said you can't do this."

* There's a good idea, others have implemented it with modest success. Then somebody comes along and blows it out of the water. Best example I can think of for this is the iPod. MP3 players were common before Apple, so it wasn't a new idea. Yet, they re-invented it in so many ways. Another example is, of course, Google, going against established search portals when they came about.

Re: The Hot Girl Effect and Networking

#38

Post by rick888 »

losvedir wrote: post #9
kungfooey wrote: post #2

Is this for real? Is there any science to support the anecdotal experience of "the hot girl effect"?

OKCupid does interesting analyses of their user data. Here's a post looking at the impact of attractiveness on messaging rates ( http://blog.okcupid.com/index.php/your-looks-and-online-dati... ). Looks like, at least for their users, the "hot girl effect" is not real; the more attractive the girl, the lower the probability of a successful response.

"the more attractive the girl, the lower the probability of a successful response."

If a really hot girl sends me a message on okcupid, I will probably ignore it. Why? Because 9/10 it's a spammer.

Re: The Hot Girl Effect and Networking

#39

Post by dfgherher »

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