Hacker News Board Hacker News, browsed like a classic message board
Live data from Hacker News

It's Never Too Late to Be Successful and Happy

invincible.substack.com

Post reply on HN
Print view View original

31–40 of 119 posts

Re: It's Never Too Late to Be Successful and Happy

#31

Post by obastani »

fulafel wrote: post #16

Language question as non-native speaker: (M-W) dictionary definition of "success" refers to "succeed" which goes.. "1a : to come next after another in office or position or in possession of an estate especially : to inherit sovereignty, rank, or title " and "2a : to turn out well, b : to attain a desired object or end " When people use the word to mean securing a good position in a corporation, are they consciously u…

The more common usage is 2a/b, as you point out. I believe "success" is specifically derived from this meaning of "succeed", not 1a. Typically, securing a position in a company is still in the sense of definition 2a/b.

As far as I know, the definition 1a is unrelated and specifically meant to describe sequence relations, usually for positions of power. For example, "Trump succeeded Obama as president" means Trump became president after Obama. Related words are "succession" (e.g., "succession of the throne" refers to the process of transferring power in a monarchy), "successor" (e.g., the successor function in mathematics takes an integer n and returns n+1), and "precede" (the antonym of "succeed").

Re: It's Never Too Late to Be Successful and Happy

#32

Post by superqd »

puranjay wrote: post #13
superqd wrote: post #7

Yeah, I totally suffer from this far too much. Intellectually, I understand that much of the success of my peers of which I'm envious, has nothing to do with my abilities, per se, but more to do with luck and personality differences. I am who I am, and that affects the probabilities of who I meet and when, and what opportunities I'm willing to chase when they arise. I know this, and realize the, primarily, financial…

Have you ever seen the kind of backgrounds people who are frequently lauded in the media for being successful early come from? Most had some luxuries that you probably did not - wealthy parents, extensive training in their chosen field, etc. It's not always about talent. Knowing that your parents have millions allows you to think in a way someone struggling to pay rent can't. I wasn't able to think long-term and actu…

That is very true. I grew up relatively poor (we were the kids with literal holes in our shoes going to school, free lunch program, etc), and didn't get my first computer till I was 26. I didn't get it till I was 26 not because I couldn't afford it (I was the first in my extended family to go to college, and I got a physics degree), but because I was so used to not buying/having things cause that's how I grew up. When I was 26, I had already been working for a few years (left grad school to work full time), and was like, wait, I could totally buy my own cool stuff now.

Re: It's Never Too Late to Be Successful and Happy

#33

Post by throes_death »

keyle wrote: post #30
lanrh1836 wrote: post #5

This makes the wrong assumption that happiness comes with success. Success doesn’t bring happiness. If anything, being happy in the first place is what gives you a better chance at achieving success.

Exactly. Even the quote used: > “Comparison is the thief of joy.” —Theodore Roosevelt Isn't 'success' a form of comparison? How do you quantify success? Is it binary? Is it a validation from peers? Do your own thing, be excellent at it, have fun.

Devils advocate here. Hi!

Is it necessary to excel to be successful and/or happy?

Re: It's Never Too Late to Be Successful and Happy

#35

Post by peterlk »

lanrh1836 wrote: post #5

This makes the wrong assumption that happiness comes with success. Success doesn’t bring happiness. If anything, being happy in the first place is what gives you a better chance at achieving success.

My favorite quote addresses this:

"Don't be mad 'cause I'm doin me better than you doin you" - Childish Gambino

Figure out what that means for you, and you'll be successful. That's my theory anyway. The amount that I believe that theory varies from day to day, but I use it as a mantra to keep me level.

Re: It's Never Too Late to Be Successful and Happy

#36

Post by superqd »

HeWhoLurksLate wrote: post #20
superqd wrote: post #7

Yeah, I totally suffer from this far too much. Intellectually, I understand that much of the success of my peers of which I'm envious, has nothing to do with my abilities, per se, but more to do with luck and personality differences. I am who I am, and that affects the probabilities of who I meet and when, and what opportunities I'm willing to chase when they arise. I know this, and realize the, primarily, financial…

I can relate to that, too- I'm intellectually smart, but socially awkward, which kinda stinks- I say the wrong things, goof up, and mess up wording often. For me, what works is to stop worrying about what others say- so what if I misspeak and call an end effector an "endofactor" once in a presentation if it's spelled properly on screen? Now that I've written the above I realize that I'm best when I prepare as much as…

I've learned to lean heavily in to my nerdiness. I have just learned to accept it's who I am, and if that means I am not the dude who goes out after work for drinks (for various reasons), then that is the way it is (lots of relationships are formed there). I tend not to go out of my way to 'network', and have missed opportunities as a result, but it really just isn't me. I've forced myself on occasion to be better at it, but even after many years, it has not gotten deeply into me enough to become a habit.

Here's an example.

I'm very introverted, and was at a company outing many years ago. Myself and another dev who started at the same time at the company as me (a startup in Seattle) found ourselves sitting at a table with the investors of the company. I'm not one for idle chit chat, and really had no burning questions to ask them, so I talked to them very little. They asked very little of me as well. But, the other dev sitting with us was super outgoing and extremely socially engaging. He peppered the investors with questions and eventually they really opened up to him. Over the next year, he continued this at every company event they attended. Then they started inviting him to social events at their houses. Over time, one thing led to another, and he eventually ended up starting a new company with the investors and left our company. I heard he ended up selling the new company for some $$$.

There were lots of lucky breaks along the way I'm sure, but the point is, I compared myself to him and felt like a failure. But, the reality is, I am just not like that guy, and though he achieved financial success, it is entirely possible that he may not have. I ignore the other equally socially engaging folks I knew at the same time who did NOT end up starting and selling a company.

I am not that guy, and he is not me. My only true comparison is my past self. And compared to that guy, I'm doing pretty damn well.

Re: It's Never Too Late to Be Successful and Happy

#37

Post by MRD85 »

dasyatidprime wrote: post #11
cecilpl2 wrote: post #8

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> I'm trying to convince myself to try anyway What else are you going to do? You are where you are right now, and you can either put in the effort to make your life better or you can give up now. The time's going to pass anyway, you might as well make the most of it.

If that worked enough of the time, articles like the OP wouldn't get written much. Emotionally speaking, giving up is actually a pretty sticky idea! The potential for putting a pile of effort in, finding it wasn't really enough, and being confronted afterward with all the things you did wrong with no chance to correct them now is paralyzing ; it's “safer” in a way to not try, never know, and only experience the one,…

Success isn't the best possible outcome vs worst possible outcome scenario you're describing. I made a decision at 30 to improve my life and three years later I'm reaping benefits.

Consider an obese man looking at a fitness model and saying "I want to look like that". He might never reach it but if he loses weight and becomes fitter and healthier then his effort paid off. He might think he failed but he's landed in a better position. I often remind myself that when I'm doing something I don't want to that I'm paying it forward to a future version of me.

Re: It's Never Too Late to Be Successful and Happy

#38

Post by kang »

lanrh1836 wrote: post #5

This makes the wrong assumption that happiness comes with success. Success doesn’t bring happiness. If anything, being happy in the first place is what gives you a better chance at achieving success.

Exactly. Once you stop comparing, how can one be but successful, in being themselves?

Re: It's Never Too Late to Be Successful and Happy

#39

Post by didibus »

lanrh1836 wrote: post #5

This makes the wrong assumption that happiness comes with success. Success doesn’t bring happiness. If anything, being happy in the first place is what gives you a better chance at achieving success.

I think happiness comes most from acceptance, and then from having good company and people that care for you. Like you say, success is orthogonal, in fact, I think it's mostly unrelated.
Post reply on HN