I Grew Up Gifted, but My Life Didn’t Turn Out the Way I Expected

I think being told I was "gifted" might have blinded them to a much more important problem - that I had severe ADHD.

We don’t tell them they are smart. Instead, we tell them they must have worked hard at something (Assuming it was worthy of praise).

We got this from the book Nature Shock, a book that talks about “counter intuitive” examples of how you can impart lessons on your kids more effectively.

Basically by praising hard work rather than brilliance, you are telling your kids that you got something because you worked on it, not because you are inherently “smart”. This gives them (at least in theory) something to work with when they run into obstacles.

Worry though what to do if they never pursue anything that is truly “hard” for them, and consequently need to struggle. and they never have to work.

Edit: changed wording in last paragraph to clarify intent

The world is filled with successful people of less-than-average intelligence who simply work hard and are in the right place. On the other side of the coin, there are many highly intelligent people who never find satisfaction or material success.

The game is made up of many aspects. We do best when we don't ignore any of them.

Just let them grow up at their own rhythm, and see what happens. If they are good at school, they can always take online video courses on things that they enjoy.

For example, have them take as many courses as they want on https://brilliant.org or Coursera on any topic they like. Let the child themselves determine their own destiny, don't impose things like academic success or a corporate career on them.

Maybe they are natural born entrepreneurs and they want to build a company, who knows? All these expectations thrown at an you child can be nothing but detremintal and anxiogenic, just let them grow up like any other child.

Here is someone who never gave up despite apparently lacking the "talent" when young and yet went on to win the Premier League, be called up to play for his national team and beat the record of a world-class player (RvN) for scoring consecutive games in a row.

Meanwhile the sad story of Ravel Morrison[1] is one of how talent alone isn't enough. A football prodigy who was allegedly more gifted than his peer Paul Pogba (4th most expensive player transfer in football history). When you watch him, it is self-evident that he has some gifts but he has bounced from team to team and his career has not really reflected his natural abilities.

EDIT: Alternatively, another story, an anecdote from UK political aide Alastair Campbell in his book "Winners and How They Succeed"[2] - he talks about how on a visit to the Manchester United training grounds a coach pointed to the two young football players Wayne Rooney and Cristiano Ronaldo (neither of whom were even 18 yet) and spotted that only one of the two would go on to reach the very top[3], citing a difference in work ethic:

>He said that Ronaldo never ever stopped believing he could improve, whereas Rooney 'thinks he'd made it.'

[0]https://www.theguardian.com/football/2015/oct/10/jamie-vardy...

[1]https://thesefootballtimes.co/2018/09/25/the-complete-story-...

[2]https://www.amazon.co.uk/Winners-They-Succeed-Alastair-Campb...

[3]https://www.balls.ie/football/difference-between-rooney-and-...