It’s funny because contrary to the title it sounds like the author wasn’t being themself, but rather a persona they thought they should be. Another way of saying it is, “don’t be someone you’re not.”
“Be yourself” is terrible advice
31–40 of 114 posts
Re: “Be yourself” is terrible advice
#32"Be yourself" as advice is bad advice if you take it uncharitably. It's good advice for individuals that repress their identities and discard their own happiness - e.g. gay men and women that force themselves to act straight (though not without caveat as death/execution/persecution is very real). If you reinterpret it as "be authentic" or "become yourself", it again takes a better meaning for those without fundamenta…
One thing I've found again and again is that a lot of advice is good for some people (even most people) but terrible for others. It all depends where you're starting.
Re: “Be yourself” is terrible advice
#33Be yourself is a non-statement. I don't know what it means. Does it mean follow my primal urges? Follow my idealistic goals? It doesn't say anything.
To me it means that you should act in a way that more authentically represents your wants and your values.
For example, if someone wants to impress someone else, they may act in a way they think is in line with that someone else's wants and values. This can result in awkward and embarrassing situations since it's not natural or well-practiced, and it can result in being deceitful.
Instead it's better to acknowledge and be sensitive toward what that someone else wants and values, but to still behave in a way that is true to our own wants and values.
Re: “Be yourself” is terrible advice
#34Earlier quoted context omitted.
Even your "charitable" interpretation is obviously not charitable. "Yeah, you're not skilled at this" is not what people mean when they say "be yourself", unless by "this" you mean "emulate other people". Instead, what they mean is "You are naturally skilled enough at this thing, so stop doubting yourself and just stick with your natural skill/gut"
If it's not charitable, then at least it's usually correct. People giving the advice are generally unaware of what it's like to be naturally skilled at social interaction, and think it's just a matter or relaxing and enjoying yourself. If they think "you're naturally skilled at this", they're usually mistaken. My charitable version is what people would say if they could be honest and were aware of the relevant facts…
I’ve had the experience of thinking that I had terrible social skills for most of my live, then getting treatment for depression and anxiety and suddenly finding that socializing is easy. In my case, the problem really was my own fears and overanalysis about myself.
My problems couldn’t be fixed merely by someone telling me to “be myself”, but they had the right idea.
Re: “Be yourself” is terrible advice
#35I've known lots of great, kind people that were shy, or scared to be made fun of, or just lacked confidence. "Be yourself" is great advice. It means, I know you and you are a great person, you just need to be yourself. No one ever told this "loudmouth" to "be yourself". We tell those people they need to be a better self and go to therapy.
yes, i wouldn't tell e.g. the author of this piece to "be yourself" personally
Re: “Be yourself” is terrible advice
#36What I learned was, "be yourself" is terrible advice if "yourself" is the kind of person who writes for Gawker.
I was going to say something acerbic about the sort of life choices that lead to animated gifs for horizontal rules, but it looks like that was decided by Gawker, not the author.
Re: “Be yourself” is terrible advice
#37Be yourself is a non-statement. I don't know what it means. Does it mean follow my primal urges? Follow my idealistic goals? It doesn't say anything.
I don't think this is a complicated one.
It means to express yourself, your ideals, and to not conform entirely to peer pressure, or to conformity.
This is something we tell young people because they are often at the whim of social norms, some of which are bad, like 'Instagram popularity contests'.
It's generally I think decent advice, even for adults, for whom I think the notion of 'being authentic' would apply.
Re: “Be yourself” is terrible advice
#38It’s funny because contrary to the title it sounds like the author wasn’t being themself, but rather a persona they thought they should be. Another way of saying it is, “don’t be someone you’re not.”
I agree, this read as a long winded article for the author to "stick it to" the person they are projecting blame for the consequences of their own actions and inexperience.
Re: “Be yourself” is terrible advice
#39The lack of self awareness in this article is cringeworthy. Just read the headline, that's as good as it gets.
I read it as mistaking the beginning of self awareness for being well along the journey. I try not to judge. Every time you look back the road ahead is longer than you thought it was at the time.
Re: “Be yourself” is terrible advice
#40'"Be yourself" is terrible advice' is terrible advice... Ok, mediocre advice.
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