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People who own businesses should not act like assholes

blog.kamens.us

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Re: People who own businesses should not act like assholes

#31

Post by jik »

Topgamer7 wrote: post #23
vinceguidry wrote: post #14

The Internet over the years has taught me the fine art of non-engagement. Just... stop. The instant it starts going down a bad road, stop. Don't send another message, or send a blithely positive one just to blunt the energy and move on. Seems so simple, but I think the need for closure is what keeps many from being able to do this. But it's dangerous. The Internet is dangerous. All it takes is for one person, it does…

I agree. Don't poke the internet bear. You might not fully understand the level of crazy on the other end of the router.

I've been poking the internet bear for over 30 years. That's quite obvious if you read the other articles on my blog. I'm not one to back down from a fight when I think someone is in the wrong. And yes, sometimes I've paid for that, such as when a Usenet kook tried to get me fired from my job for having the temerity to disagree with him. But overall I'd rather be the guy who stood up for what I believed was right than the guy who didn't. As always, YMMV.

Re: People who own businesses should not act like assholes

#32

Post by CptFribble »

jik wrote: post #15

Wow, out of all the things I've written on my blog, _this_ makes it onto the front page of HN. How droll. BTW, just to be clear, I wasn't the one who posted the link here. I don't think it's particular relevant to what HN is for, but shrug apparently somebody did. This is all I'm going to have to say about the attacks on my character here... When some stranger on the internet acts like a dick toward me in private ema…

I'm sorry to say, but things went off the rails before he used the second email address.

In the email with the GitHub link, the final two paragraphs were an unnecessary provocation, especially the profanity in the first and personal insult in the second. Everything after that was mean-spirited and unnecessary, including your response to the second email address and the reviews.

I got into a lot of verbal fights on the internet over the years before I learned that typing at people only makes it worse. State your case plainly, without name calling, and leave it. If they keep going then 99% of the time they're trolling, and 1% they have no self control.

If you really feel the urge to "give it to them," maybe stop and think about why you feel that way. Nothing good ever comes from trying to hurt someone else to make a point, especially if that point is to make yourself feel better.

The best response is always kindness. If that doesn't work, then walk away. Escalating solves nothing.

Re: People who own businesses should not act like assholes

#33

Post by jik »

DarkWiiPlayer wrote: post #20

I honestly don't understand how they could have spelled that street name wrong.

I mean, she spelled my name wrong to. She spelled her own email address differently in two places. Attention to detail does not appear to be this person's strong suit.

Re: People who own businesses should not act like assholes

#34

Post by rosege »

eyeinthepyramid wrote: post #5
caractacus wrote: post #2

It's a beautiful story where one asshole meets another.

It's incredible the author was so proud of being an asshole that he wrote a blog post about it.

To be fair I've probably had the odd time I've been like that too!

Re: People who own businesses should not act like assholes

#36

Post by jik »

CptFribble wrote: post #32
jik wrote: post #15

Wow, out of all the things I've written on my blog, _this_ makes it onto the front page of HN. How droll. BTW, just to be clear, I wasn't the one who posted the link here. I don't think it's particular relevant to what HN is for, but shrug apparently somebody did. This is all I'm going to have to say about the attacks on my character here... When some stranger on the internet acts like a dick toward me in private ema…

I'm sorry to say, but things went off the rails before he used the second email address. In the email with the GitHub link, the final two paragraphs were an unnecessary provocation, especially the profanity in the first and personal insult in the second. Everything after that was mean-spirited and unnecessary, including your response to the second email address and the reviews. I got into a lot of verbal fights on th…

Some days I agree with you. Some days I don't.

Re: People who own businesses should not act like assholes

#37

Post by vinceguidry »

jik wrote: post #31
Topgamer7 wrote: post #23

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I agree. Don't poke the internet bear. You might not fully understand the level of crazy on the other end of the router.

I've been poking the internet bear for over 30 years. That's quite obvious if you read the other articles on my blog. I'm not one to back down from a fight when I think someone is in the wrong. And yes, sometimes I've paid for that, such as when a Usenet kook tried to get me fired from my job for having the temerity to disagree with him. But overall I'd rather be the guy who stood up for what I believed was right tha…

30 years ago, I'd have been right there with you. Nowadays? Oh hell no. The threat landscape has changed.

Re: People who own businesses should not act like assholes

#38

Post by normalfaults »

i_dont_know_ wrote: post #6

I've worked on FOSS before and got a handful of messages from people like this. They're very very few and far between, but I always found them fascinating because of how much it broke their worldviews. They're usually people who control enough money that they can 'throw money at a problem' and it'll largely diminish or go away. They usually find a desperate enough vendor, employee, or subcontractor who will deal with…

What you are describing is to some level the essence of consulting/contracting or at least folks that are in that industry. This type of abuser/abusee relationship in business is prevalent all over the place especially to defer blame when things go south (paying for someone to essentially take the blame) and also defer decision making . thanks for the food for thought.

Re: People who own businesses should not act like assholes

#39

Post by smileysteve »

hn_throwaway_99 wrote: post #3

To be honest, it was the author who I felt like, while perhaps not an asshole, showed a pretty intense level of oblivious immaturity. I get it, the other guy was a jerk, especially to someone who was maintaining an add-on for free. But at the point where the author responded with the "Sorry, I don't agree with that," he should have left it at that and moved on. Who cares what some rando on the internet thinks about y…

I agree! Author is the asshole. Could have kept his response as was (make the changes yourself) or not made any response at all.

The author approached a doxxing vs harassment discrepancy, doxxing seems much more uncivilized.

Further, I think the author should consider the features of his software and the people it attracts. Frankly the author could have ended the conversation earlier when the complainant specified that his use of the software was to harass.

Re: People who own businesses should not act like assholes

#40

Post by kichik »

hn_throwaway_99 wrote: post #3

To be honest, it was the author who I felt like, while perhaps not an asshole, showed a pretty intense level of oblivious immaturity. I get it, the other guy was a jerk, especially to someone who was maintaining an add-on for free. But at the point where the author responded with the "Sorry, I don't agree with that," he should have left it at that and moved on. Who cares what some rando on the internet thinks about y…

Totally agree. And the clearest sign of that is that the author is the one who cursed first.
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