/pol/ is always right, eh? No, seriously, this woman is probably real, but her life story reads like a 4chan meme.
How can you have so little compassion? You've never in your life felt regret or loneliness?
‘I’m Broke and Mostly Friendless, and I’ve Wasted My Whole Life’
31–40 of 669 posts
Re: ‘I’m Broke and Mostly Friendless, and I’ve Wasted My Whole Life’
#32I'm astonished that the columnist didn't advise something that seems blindingly obvious to me: find a therapist to talk to - not someone who's going to automatically say "have some Prozac" but someone outside yourself to talk with about these issues. That letter just screams depression (or maybe bipolar on a downswing), but some of it may be just needing to figure out where and what you want to be.
Re: ‘I’m Broke and Mostly Friendless, and I’ve Wasted My Whole Life’
#33"We should be more honest about the real tradeoffs between endless wanderlust/adventure-seeking and putting down real roots. The things that make for a great instagram feed or Bumble profile are very different from those of permanence that help us live well." (Friend's comment on article) Polly's reply is so shameless (including promoting her own book in the reply) that it's incredible just how badly it missed the po…
Frankly I stopped reading the moment the book was mentioned. It feels off and insincere.
I would think the same thing, if the book wasn't relevant to the topic being discussed.
Providing a sincere response, and self-promoting are not mutually exclusive.
It's more like "Hey! I wrote a book on this exact issue. I really hope it helps"
Re: ‘I’m Broke and Mostly Friendless, and I’ve Wasted My Whole Life’
#34I should probably add some context.
This article was linked several times in "manosphere", including a few response videos. This woman is fine, healthy, relatively young. Men face the very same "invisibility problem" their whole lives.
Re: ‘I’m Broke and Mostly Friendless, and I’ve Wasted My Whole Life’
#35She can write well though.
I was going to say this. She mentions her own art and how it has lapsed, but the letter she penned is full of promise when it comes to the art of writing.
Re: ‘I’m Broke and Mostly Friendless, and I’ve Wasted My Whole Life’
#36At least this person can communicate and can open themselves up emotionally. But it sounds like this person would have mental health issues no matter what their current situation was. A partner or job isn't going to fix that.
Anxiety is living in the future. Depression is living in the past. Wanting a good experience is a bad experience. Accepting a bad experience is a good experience.
Re: ‘I’m Broke and Mostly Friendless, and I’ve Wasted My Whole Life’
#37Sometimes you can get distracted (for years) and cut yourself off from the world. This can be because of adventure Travel, creating a business, or focusing all your energy on one person and then having that relationship fall apart. I moved cities to be better positioned for my Startup. Ignored all friends and family for 4 years, and ultimately the company failed and I felt very similar to this woman. The prison syste…
Make a list of people, when someone crosses your mind, add to it, maybe with a note. When you have free time send people thoughtful messages.
I've been doing something similar recently, and it feels really good tbh. Instead of adding to the note/list, I just reach out right then and there and send them a message/email. It's worked wonderfully to reconnect with family and friends.
Re: ‘I’m Broke and Mostly Friendless, and I’ve Wasted My Whole Life’
#38When I was in college there was an older woman doing my course who was a little like this - had lived all over the world, and had had the kind of wild life that I envied. I learned from her that memories of good times don't make you happy - quite the opposite, in fact, if your present is a let-down.
As a wise older friend puts it, neither the past nor the future is real. Only the present is real.
Death is not an event in life: we do not live to experience death. If we take eternity to mean not infinite temporal duration but timelessness, then eternal life belongs to those who live in the present. Our life has no end in the way in which our visual field has no limits.
- Ludwig Wittgenstein
Re: ‘I’m Broke and Mostly Friendless, and I’ve Wasted My Whole Life’
#39I could give better advice in a single sentence. To wit, "you should schedule an appointment with a psychiatrist to get screened for adult ADHD."
These life problems are classic adult ADHD symptoms. Moving cities every few years. Not being able to hold down a long-term relationship. Your "who-knows-what-number" job. Debt from poor and impulsive decisions. Lack of internal drive. Difficulty making and keeping friends. "Can barely remember to buy dish soap". Enough difficulty with making deadlines that her boss is reminding her of them.
Re: ‘I’m Broke and Mostly Friendless, and I’ve Wasted My Whole Life’
#40I think the parents of many 20 and 30-somethings played a role in so many young(ish) adults failing to launch. American parents could learn a thing or two about parenting from previous generations and from a lot of immigrant families: nobody owes you anything, plan for a rainy day, find a partner you love and commit to them, work hard, cherish friends and family even when it's difficult, etc. I think parenting has ov…
> decades at a time
I think we're seeing the result of the baby boomer generation, essentially. They rejected the old, as you put it -- stern way of parenting. I'd argue, perhaps it wasn't so much stern as it was the structured.
There was structure, expectations, and responsibilities. Things previous generates required to live. Since then, we've grown increasingly accustomed to insane amounts of wealth (or perhaps debt?).
This enabled us to lax our expectations, because you didn't need to be super disciplined to make the wealth.
The fact that we rebuffed the social norms has it's good and bad, unfortunately it does appear that we took it too far -- at least from a "you can do anything perspective". Yes, you can do anything, but you have to work to get there. It appears a lot of people forget that last part and feel entitled to their wealth / place in society.