Practically married with someone met online (mIRC)
Poll: OkCupid stories
31–40 of 92 posts
Re: Poll: OkCupid stories
#32Earlier quoted context omitted.
You are doing it wrong. The way to do it is to let them come to you. I've never initiated any conversation on OKCupid and I've been on dates with about 50 women from that site. They have always contacted me first. In mid september of this year I had 15 different women contact me in one week, resulting in 10 dates, which was the record. The key is to just have a few decent photos and be funny. It's very surprising how…
I think that only works if your looks are above average. I once used a photo of an actor on my profile just to see the effect. That raised quite some responses without me doing anything. Then I replaced my photo with a real one (my best one back then) and the number of responses instantly dropped tenfold.
I don't think I'm ugly but not particularly attractive, either. However, your post is interesting because I apparently do look very similar to a certain B-list celebrity. That is what most women open with. "Has anyone ever told you that you look exactly like X..."
Re: Poll: OkCupid stories
#33Earlier quoted context omitted.
I think you're both doing it wrong. Women tend to approach men less than the reverse, I presume that if you approached more then you'd end up with higher values in the qualities you care about. It's also only important to note you are not just "competing" with the other guys she saw this week, but the whole online/offline pool of available males attractive females invariably have. It's about leveraging the speed of t…
I wasn't the one looking for the "disposable hump doll." I've never even initiated a contact. The women who contacted me were just looking for sex. This happened far more often in SF. In NYC some are looking for that, but more seem to be actually looking for a husband, or a long term boyfriend. I put the crazy and antibiotics lines in there because I really did get the clap, and really did have to change my phone num…
the point was that describing women in the manner of the last 3 sentences signals such a world view. Also, there's nothing wrong with casual sex, it's pretty awesome...
so like, you had these bad experiences after just letting the stereotypically passive sex chase you, maybe use a bit more selection and go after the really interesting ones and you'll have better experience
I mean if you put yourself in list for casual sex then yeah, you need to be super careful about the people that contact you because typically attractive sexually liberated females get enough attention they don't have to pursue males
Re: Poll: OkCupid stories
#34personally I find all these dating sites to be completely useless for guys...too much competition. when you hit on a girl in the real world...at worst, you are competing with the 10-15 other guys who've had the guts to talk to her in the past week. with online, you are competing with pretty much every guy within 100-150 miles...and since most play the numbers game...you are just one of the hundreds who've messaged he…
There are substantially more women than men on eHarmony. The paywall really keeps out the riff-raff.
Re: Poll: OkCupid stories
#35personally I find all these dating sites to be completely useless for guys...too much competition. when you hit on a girl in the real world...at worst, you are competing with the 10-15 other guys who've had the guts to talk to her in the past week. with online, you are competing with pretty much every guy within 100-150 miles...and since most play the numbers game...you are just one of the hundreds who've messaged he…
Women have to play a numbers game, too. If they go for the same guys the other girls go for, they won't get time with the guy, or they'll get time with a guy who is dating a bunch of other women. Women figure this out pretty quickly. Your model of how women behave would result in a lot of frustration for them unless they're happy being some generic stud's Tuesday night girl.
Hence, if you're looking for an intelligent woman who wants a monogamous relationship, she'll be looking for a good individual match with a guy who has time for her, and she'll be looking for ways around the numbers problem. That means playing up what makes you different, and being good at targeting yourself to the right women. I'm not a catch by any means, but I had a pretty good response rate on Match.com, to the point where I worried that I wasn't casting a wide enough net. I think one of the reasons I've been successful is that I'm very honest and try to communicate as much of my personality as possible through my ad, even the aspects of my personality that aren't universally liked. That's how you hook into women's individual taste and how you help them solve the numbers problem. (That's not the same as putting your worst foot forward; I don't advertise things about myself that nobody would like.)
Re: Poll: OkCupid stories
#36I really liked OKC when I was using it and think it's one of the best dating sites, but I have something of an anti-OKCupid story:
I met my current SO in person, at a party. It turns out that we have opposing political and religious views (we're both fairly moderate, so we're not polar opposites, but we do categorize ourselves as Dem/Rep, Atheist/Christian). Personally, I'm a little surprised that things have worked as well as they have, given that, but love is mysterious.
Surprisingly, we discovered that we were on OKC at exactly the same time, but due to the above discrepancies our match percentages were so low that we never saw each other. I'm not sure what moral one should take away from that, other than that your mental checklist of dating requirements may be less relevant than you imagined.
Re: Poll: OkCupid stories
#37This poll kind of sucks? I am a member of okcupid and a pay dating site and not in a relationship. It doesn't capture the fact that I have met and dated off of okcupid and pof, and not off of pay sites.
can't you select multiple answers?
There's no way to tell the difference between one person selecting three choices and three people selecting one each. A running tally of the number of users who have upvoted at least one answer would be helpful.
Re: Poll: OkCupid stories
#38Earlier quoted context omitted.
can't you select multiple answers?
There's no way to tell the difference between one person selecting three choices and three people selecting one each. A running tally of the number of users who have upvoted at least one answer would be helpful.
its fair that you do lose some data when you aren't able to see who has multivoted, but it does provide you more information than if you were funneled into one choice alone which didn't represent you
Re: Poll: OkCupid stories
#39somewhat off-topic: I read somewhere recently that 35% of date site users are married. Can anyone confirm this stat or find a source for a more accurate estimate?
Re: Poll: OkCupid stories
#40Engaged to someone I met on OkCupid, but that wasn't an option, so I picked married to someone I met on OkCupid.