Modern life is lonely – We all need someone to help

People don't talk about it, but the club has gotten huge, at least from my vantage point.

I don't think people are being more honest, or it's the ease of communication over the internet.

A lot of people are trying to manage a mix of intense anxiety, and depression.

I look around and technology has just made things worse. (Yea--I know one day--technology might eradicate cancer. I'm not going to argue. Today--I wish the smartphone was Never invented. )

I have always thought too much about death. It's kinda ruined my life.

That said, my only preparation for eventual illness is getting rid the television.

I've never thought it was healthy to be reminded daily through commercials I will get cancer, or if lucky just, die of a quick heart attack. And so many lonely people use t.v to alleviate the pain of being alone, or at least I do.

I haven't got rid of it yet, but it will come. I do have a healthy collection of movies on dvds.

As I aged, I do see why people do drugs. And yes--I do exercise daily. It does help.

Primitive men weren't stoic. We attribute that quality to them because we now understand how common diseases work and why they were so prominent in that time. That understanding -part of the advantages of modern life- has forever changed our perspective on the subject.

For primitive men, life was probably terrifying and a constant struggle. When someone in the tribe got sick, they didn't say "oh well, that's life! What can you do?". They'd attribute it to some supernatural force that was clearly angry at them for something they did. That's why they created various superstitions and rituals, as a way to combat the things they could not understand and control. That's not exactly being stoic.

That being said, I do believe that some people are not equipped to deal with modern life, and that a larger degree of solitude is part of that life.

I'm lucky in the sense that, for me, being alone does not have an emotional tax. I enjoy being alone as much as I enjoy being in good company (and because you cannot always count on the company to be good, i'd say I enjoy it even more). I'm not saying I like to be alone sometimes. I really enjoy being alone for extended periods of time and could imagine living the rest of my life alone to some degree (I do like the rhythm of modern cities). But I understand the frustration of those who cannot endure solitude or get a feeling of loneliness from it.

I wouldn't say modern society sucks, though. It has a lot going for it, but it's obviously not perfect.

I’ve struggled with loneliness my entire life - and adult life has been worse than childhood. I started boarding school at six - and while I was homesick for some time, the camaraderie of other inmates, uh, students, was the only thing that kept me mildly sane - I had people to look out for and protect, and similarly people looked out for and protected me.

As an adult, I’ve unwittingly repeatedly chosen lonely paths - moving frequently for several years before settling down and starting a business. I spent my days surrounded by people with nobody to relate to - I can be friendly with employees and clients, but I can’t be friends. I can’t confide about what worries me.

Either way, I broke - I spent most of 2016 having anxiety attacks that’d see me vomit for weeks on end, to the extent that I ended up hospitalised several times with severe dehydration and hypoglycaemia. I passed on the reins and left.

I now live on the edge of a village in the middle of nowhere north wales. I have drinks or go for walks with with my 93 and 84 year old neighbours most days. I’ve made friends with all sorts, just by saying hello to folks as they walk past the cottage.

My financial future is uncertain - but as I write this I am so happy it brings tears to my eyes.

We’ve really forgotten what’s important - and there’s a story about a chap called Midas that we could all do to learn a thing or two from.

"You're on your own" is good when reaping rewards and thriving in a meritocracy, but not when you need help, are losing, or just want warmth.

But a healthy dose of loneliness is what has us reaching for each other.

So we should all just give in, and reach for each other.

Natural feeling tend to take care of themselves, so long as we're capable of being honest.

Of course, that's the other issue.

Of course, YMMV. Please take this as a random anecdote, not as evangelism.