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Tinder and the Dating Apocalypse (2015)

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Re: Tinder and the Dating Apocalypse (2015)

#31

Post by monksy »

stepanhruda wrote: post #20
corporateslave3 wrote: post #13

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Yeah, its a trap generally. In theory your dating matches are limitless, in reality they are much more constrained. This is how the dating atmosphere in NYC generally works, a ton of people with too many mediocre options.

Saw an article recently stating * bottom 80% of the men all compete for 20% of the women who actually respond to them * the other 80% of the women only respond to the top 20% of the men

I can't find the link. But they did histogram of how men and women were ranked by who they were interested in.

Women by in large had an average at 6/10. Men had an average around 2.5/10.

Re: Tinder and the Dating Apocalypse (2015)

#32

Post by paulddraper »

smnrchrds wrote: post #25
sverige wrote: post #22

Earlier quoted context omitted.

There's also the high risk of marriage ending in divorce and losing half (or more) of your financial assets when the relationship falls apart. That has been keeping a lot of men from marrying, which is another factor that drives some portion of them to avoid marriage by design.

Wouldn't that only be the case if there is a huge disparity in wealth and income between spouses? If professionals marry other professionals, similar to how doctors mostly marry other doctors, that shouldn't be a problem.

> Wouldn't that only be the case if there is a huge disparity in wealth and income between spouses?

IDK about "huge", but that is often that case, one way or the other.

Re: Tinder and the Dating Apocalypse (2015)

#33

Post by closeparen »

smnrchrds wrote: post #25
sverige wrote: post #22

Earlier quoted context omitted.

There's also the high risk of marriage ending in divorce and losing half (or more) of your financial assets when the relationship falls apart. That has been keeping a lot of men from marrying, which is another factor that drives some portion of them to avoid marriage by design.

Wouldn't that only be the case if there is a huge disparity in wealth and income between spouses? If professionals marry other professionals, similar to how doctors mostly marry other doctors, that shouldn't be a problem.

Given the gender pay gap, we should almost always expect there to be such a disparity in straight couples.

Women's representation in a field (like software engineering, at 16%) is an upper bound on the share of men in that field who could possibly marry female professional peers.

Re: Tinder and the Dating Apocalypse (2015)

#35

Post by Bakary »

The unintended picture painted by the article is that this state of affairs only benefits attractive men. I'm not familiar with the platform but I somehow doubt that the majority of male Tinder users can get away with rude comments or a cavalier attitude and still womanize. On the contrary I keep hearing about men failing to garner a single match or sexual encounter independently of whether their behavior was crass or not.

Re: Tinder and the Dating Apocalypse (2015)

#36

Post by smnrchrds »

closeparen wrote: post #33
smnrchrds wrote: post #25

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Wouldn't that only be the case if there is a huge disparity in wealth and income between spouses? If professionals marry other professionals, similar to how doctors mostly marry other doctors, that shouldn't be a problem.

Given the gender pay gap, we should almost always expect there to be such a disparity in straight couples. Women's representation in a field (like software engineering, at 16%) is an upper bound on the share of men in that field who could possibly marry female professional peers.

I didn't mean that software engineers should marry software engineers, geologists marry geologists, etc. What I meant was professionals should consider marrying other professionals, e.g. a software engineer marrying a geologist.

Re: Tinder and the Dating Apocalypse (2015)

#37

Post by paulddraper »

trentmb wrote: post #34
pbiggar wrote: post #4

There was an excellent response to this: https://www.washingtonpost.com/posteverything/wp/2015/08/26/...

> This surplus of women is not just “perceived” but very, very real. Man, I must be a heaping turd then.

The author arrives at that conclusion based purely on the # of college grads.

But while comparing current numbers to past ones, he forgets that the relationship between the sexes has changed significantly. E.g., women are far less reliant on men. I think this would significantly affect the conclusion.

Re: Tinder and the Dating Apocalypse (2015)

#38

Post by Mz »

smnrchrds wrote: post #36
closeparen wrote: post #33

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Given the gender pay gap, we should almost always expect there to be such a disparity in straight couples. Women's representation in a field (like software engineering, at 16%) is an upper bound on the share of men in that field who could possibly marry female professional peers.

I didn't mean that software engineers should marry software engineers, geologists marry geologists, etc. What I meant was professionals should consider marrying other professionals, e.g. a software engineer marrying a geologist.

Yeah, love should have nothing to do with marriage. It should totally be about bank balances.

/s

Re: Tinder and the Dating Apocalypse (2015)

#39

Post by Mz »

I decided at age 16 to opt out of "dating." To my mind, "dating" is about men spending money on women in hopes of getting laid. It isn't a great courtship model (courtship is the correct term for the lengthy process of establishing a serious, committed, long term relationship).

Our dating practices are rooted in a culture where men make money, women are primarily wives and moms. This is no longer true, so it should be no surprise that dating is having a crisis.

Though it is sad to read about how victimized the women in the article feel.

Re: Tinder and the Dating Apocalypse (2015)

#40

Post by closeparen »

smnrchrds wrote: post #36
closeparen wrote: post #33

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Given the gender pay gap, we should almost always expect there to be such a disparity in straight couples. Women's representation in a field (like software engineering, at 16%) is an upper bound on the share of men in that field who could possibly marry female professional peers.

I didn't mean that software engineers should marry software engineers, geologists marry geologists, etc. What I meant was professionals should consider marrying other professionals, e.g. a software engineer marrying a geologist.

What the gender pay gap tells us is that the category of "professionals" at any given income level is far from gender-balanced. It's not mathematically possible for everyone to marry within their income bracket.
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