We had the same experience, unfortunately most of stripes "declined" charges are actually declined by the bank and stripe cannot, nor is willing to help you out. They are just a gateway. Once it happened on my own site with my own card, I called my bank's security team and asked what is the exact reason on their side and all they could tell me over the phone that they declined the transaction only because it was too "high risk"
My theory (just a theory) is:
A. banks fraud detection systems just don't like the way stripe is avoiding the whole merchant account game, so stipe just has a bad rep at banks
B. stripe is so easy to set up and use, therefore various stripe websites
has fraudulent transactions going on, so from the bank point of view just
being a new merchant coming through stripe is automatically high risk
The whole machine learning for fraud detection imho is very annoying from a merchant point of view, because there is no real way to fix it. We have had cards that got declined only the second-third month in a rent-to-own business and the only thing we can do is to ask the customer to call their bank.
Hopefully once fraud detection happens at the stripe level instead of the bank level,
banks will see less fraud coming from stripe and the overall decline rate will ... decline.