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Dinner and Deception – Serving meals to the super-rich left me feeling empty

nytimes.com

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Re: Dinner and Deception – Serving meals to the super-rich left me feeling empty

#31

Post by logicallee »

It wasn't a hard routine to master. You showed up. You read the article. Then you clicked on the text box, and you write one of a few thoughts: "I love how this exposes the vacuousness of the fine dining experience". Or: "The story about the Chinese businessman confirms something I have long suspected, that paying more for a meal is no an evidence of a soul." With a little practice, you can almost pass it off as original. You act surprised. You act indignant. You act informed.

Then you click add comment. That's it. Simple. Mechanical. Of course, beneath the mechanical gestures lurks an ugly truth. It was something you didn't talk about. You just did your job - occasionally, you would get some karma for it. That soon wore off. I wondered: is this what it feels like to be one of the liberated intelligentsia? Would Engels have strained his relationship with his mother so that he could defend my right to "take it easy"? Is this what we have fought for?

To be sure, I was a glorious member of a liberated proletariat: nobody got "surplus value" from my comment. The karma was mine.

But sometimes, for just a glimmer of a moment, in those seconds after I clicked "add comment" I was left facing the ugly truth, there in black and white. It was because there was no value there at all.

-

(I am satirizing this awful article)

Re: Dinner and Deception – Serving meals to the super-rich left me feeling empty

#32

Post by derefr »

jnbiche wrote: post #30
milspec wrote: post #27

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Japan does this right: nobody tips. Customers pay the restaurant, and the restaurant pays the waiters. Tipping is one small step away from paying bribes. Don't do it. Don't encourage it. Don't accept it.

OK, but this is not Japan, and if you are skipping or skimping on tips here in the US, chances are you're screwing over a relatively poor person. US law allows restaurants to pay waiters and waitresses well below minimum wage, under the assumption that their tips will make up the difference. But I suspect I'll not convince you.

If everybody stopped tipping, wouldn't the law change?

It's sort of the same as the problem of automation: the people at the bottom get screwed for a while while the system self-corrects.

Re: Dinner and Deception – Serving meals to the super-rich left me feeling empty

#33

Post by brookside »

wpietri wrote: post #20

For those who love the stories of people behind the scenes, it's worth digging around in the Wayback Machine for Bitter Waitress's archives. E.g.: http://web.archive.org/web/20080917050640/http://www.bitterw... And my favorite San Francisco story in this vein is "Ice Balls": http://the-tusk.com/2015/01/09/ice-balls/

I enjoyed "Ice Balls". Thank you.

Re: Dinner and Deception – Serving meals to the super-rich left me feeling empty

#34

Post by waterlesscloud »

quesera wrote: post #14
icanhackit wrote: post #11

Earlier quoted context omitted.

there are plenty of poor people that are at least as aloof, entitled and rude to service staff as rich people We need a reverse Yelp that reviews humans rather than businesses. So many people fail to follow the Golden Rule in simple, everyday interactions for no discernible advantage to themselves at the cost of dignity, respect and efficiency. Some customers you don't want. And the customer is not always right. A so…

> We need a reverse Yelp that reviews humans rather than businesses. I'd like that for drivers . My vehicle should be aware of the vehicles nearby and the likely drivers thereof, and present me with a HUD showing the poorly-reviewed in red.

Autonomous cars will almost certainly do this in that transitional period before all cars are automated.

I bet they'll even do it after, at least between manufacturers.

Re: Dinner and Deception – Serving meals to the super-rich left me feeling empty

#35

Post by bmelton »

derefr wrote: post #32
jnbiche wrote: post #30

Earlier quoted context omitted.

OK, but this is not Japan, and if you are skipping or skimping on tips here in the US, chances are you're screwing over a relatively poor person. US law allows restaurants to pay waiters and waitresses well below minimum wage, under the assumption that their tips will make up the difference. But I suspect I'll not convince you.

If everybody stopped tipping, wouldn't the law change? It's sort of the same as the problem of automation: the people at the bottom get screwed for a while while the system self-corrects.

Probably not, because assholes like me make it a point to tip anyone who does me any personal service, even when abroad, and even when it isn't of a profession that typically demands it.

I don't know why I do it, and I don't really attempt to justify it beyond "This guy did something nice for me and made me believe he enjoyed it, so that is worth at least something" mixed with not wanting to worry about whether or not a tip is expected.

Apologies if I'm screwing up life for everybody else. I do at least pocket tips when I'm told that they aren't required/desired/expected/wanted, but I would much rather err on the side of over-tipping than under.

Re: Dinner and Deception – Serving meals to the super-rich left me feeling empty

#37

Post by learc83 »

emmett wrote: post #3

It's interesting how much it really is a problem of alienation, not of the work itself. Stage magicians who obsessively practice the same motion over and over own their work, own their output, and feel empowered by the hard work and the success it brings. Waiters who do the same thing because a larger machine they do not identify with dictates it feel disconnected. The work itself is a distraction from the real probl…

I think that's the problem for many (if not most) people who are satisfied with their job--a lack of autonomy and ownership.

For example, take fry cook A, who works at Wendy's, and fry cook B, who works at an independent restaurant where the owner gives him a good deal of creative control.

Fry cook B's job is to make the best damn hamburger he can, and he get's to use his brain a bit. Fry cook A's job is to make the exact same hamburger as every other cook at every other Wendy's in the country.

Most humans just aren't very happy trying their best to act like a robot.

Re: Dinner and Deception – Serving meals to the super-rich left me feeling empty

#38

Post by hueving »

protomyth wrote: post #25
wpietri wrote: post #15

Earlier quoted context omitted.

For me, there are two big differences. One, I'm more willing to forgive those with less privilege for errors of ignorance or misplaced reactions to trauma. Part of what privilege gets you is space to learn and to work our your issues. Two, poor people can't afford to buy much in the way of service, so their ability to mistreat other poor people is limited. The richer the person, though, the more personal service they…

No. Just no. Poor or rich, if you go out then human decency is a requirement. If you go out, have the cash for the tip. Justifying poor behavior because someone is poor or rich relieves them of personal responsibility. My family was poor for a while, and I was always taught to respect people[1]. 1) unless they became a danger or acted like fools, then protect everyone else from them

Tipping is poor behavior. It's a disgusting practice in the US that really kills the experience.

Re: Dinner and Deception – Serving meals to the super-rich left me feeling empty

#39

Post by hueving »

bmelton wrote: post #35
derefr wrote: post #32

Earlier quoted context omitted.

If everybody stopped tipping, wouldn't the law change? It's sort of the same as the problem of automation: the people at the bottom get screwed for a while while the system self-corrects.

Probably not, because assholes like me make it a point to tip anyone who does me any personal service, even when abroad, and even when it isn't of a profession that typically demands it. I don't know why I do it, and I don't really attempt to justify it beyond "This guy did something nice for me and made me believe he enjoyed it, so that is worth at least something" mixed with not wanting to worry about whether or no…

Yes, your behavior is insulting in many cultures and is the reason we even have a law in the US that allows minimum wage exceptions for waiters. Over-tipping is worse than under-tipping on a macro scale.

Re: Dinner and Deception – Serving meals to the super-rich left me feeling empty

#40

Post by lazaroclapp »

jnbiche wrote: post #30
milspec wrote: post #27

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Japan does this right: nobody tips. Customers pay the restaurant, and the restaurant pays the waiters. Tipping is one small step away from paying bribes. Don't do it. Don't encourage it. Don't accept it.

OK, but this is not Japan, and if you are skipping or skimping on tips here in the US, chances are you're screwing over a relatively poor person. US law allows restaurants to pay waiters and waitresses well below minimum wage, under the assumption that their tips will make up the difference. But I suspect I'll not convince you.

How about doing it the other way around? The restaurant includes a fixed percentage charge for the service on all items, announces it prominently, requites waiters to refuse any additional tips.

One can argue that, because the advertised prices would be, say, 18% higher, the restaurant would fail due to customers preferring restaurants with lower advertised prices. But at least the experiment could be run in this case in a more or less ethical manner (costs to the business itself could be absorbed by a speculative insurer that is convinced business will not decrease for that particular restaurant). Might not even matter for really high end restaurants, since they don't advertise prices anyways.

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