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The happiest I've ever been

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Re: The happiest I've ever been

#291

Post by littlexsparkee »

abc123abc123 wrote: post #277
Aurornis wrote: post #99

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> but pretty common in tech/upper middle class circles. It's common in some tech and upper middle class bubbles , but outside of some startups and a few VHCOL cities most of the 40+ people in tech I encounter have families. I think the mindset is most popular in internet bubbles like Reddit. Reddit went mainstream a decade ago and many people in their 30s and 40s grew up reading a lot of Reddit. Reddit cleaned up the…

I find the polarization of the child/no-child discussion revolting. One side poo-poo:ing on the other, have a child? Breeder! The other poo-poo:ing back... no child, you f*cking egoist, I'm happy your gene line dies out. Personally I am of the opinion that everyone is entitled to their own life, and that the default assumption should be that they make conscious decisions in line with their own preferences. Have a chi…

Agreed except people encounter loneliness and lack of purpose for reasons besides choosing not to have kids and doing so is absolutely not guaranteed to resolve those feelings - you can build community, engage in service, etc

Re: The happiest I've ever been

#292

Post by thunky »

yodsanklai wrote: post #206
nvarsj wrote: post #40

Earlier quoted context omitted.

There’s an entire generation of mostly childless adults who are shocked to find they enjoy contributing to others’ happiness. I have friends like this, their only purpose in life is to have no responsibilities, FIRE, and never give to anyone but themselves. Seems like a terribly depressing way to live but pretty common in tech/upper middle class circles.

> Seems like a terribly depressing way to live This sounds very judgmental. Don't assume there's a single way to live a happy life. People with kids aren't immune to depression or lack of purpose.

> People with kids aren't immune to depression or lack of purpose.

Especially when their kids turn into adults and don't need them anymore. Having "kids" doesn't last that long.

Re: The happiest I've ever been

#293

Post by littlexsparkee »

Gareth321 wrote: post #253
lukan wrote: post #232

Earlier quoted context omitted.

"Tldr is, people find fulfillment without children easier nowadays" Do they? Or have most just become too distorted to feel allright filling their emptiness with empty online debates and netflix? I know people who are really happy without kids (and who will never have them), but the majority is rather miserably lonely when you look past the facade. And with many, there isn't even a facade.

Kids are a cheat code to finding fulfilment. Some rare people are able to make it themselves, but they are the exception. I think most people who post on social media about living their best DINK lives are either lying to us, themselves, or have never experienced fulfilment and confuse it with margaritas on the couch with Netflix.

That's a sweeping statement. I find fulfillment in learning things and focusing on issues I care about (environment, housing, politics).

Re: The happiest I've ever been

#294

Post by steezeburger »

bloomingeek wrote: post #32

My new goals are: Seek beauty, Seek happiness and Don't make people sad. With a lot of effort, it's working. However, I soon discovered the last goal was the most difficult. Long story short, I keep my mouth shut a lot more. I feared, at first, that this would make me feel I was compromising myself somehow. But I also discovered that sometimes when I shared my opinion, knowing it was correct, I would later regret how…

I love this! Stealing it! :) It reminds me of T.H.I.N.K. before you speak. Ask yourself if what you are about to say is true, helpful, inspiring, necessary, and kind!

Re: The happiest I've ever been

#295

Post by littlexsparkee »

arealaccount wrote: post #91
whaleidk wrote: post #68

Earlier quoted context omitted.

People who want to be childless usually champion the importance of building strong community through friends and neighbors, just because they don’t want kids doesn’t mean they don’t want to contribute to others’ happiness lol. People wanting FIRE is a lot more to do with the current economy and wealth of useless or harmful jobs than kids

> dont want to deal with kids Someone has to bring up the next generation, the no kids crowd want all the luxury of having the next generation without putting in the effort or spending the money.

Nonsense, there are plenty of childless teachers, scientists, etc that devote themselves to helping humanity. If someone wants to become an expert in their field towards this end, how can they devote themselves while having kids? It would kneecap you.

Re: The happiest I've ever been

#296

Post by melagonster »

DonThomasitos wrote: post #25
dgritsko wrote: post #6

These blog posts are fascinating to read. I don't have a personal blog, but if I did I'm sure I would've written a very similar post as I've been wrestling with similar thoughts over the last few weeks. I have the distinct sense that I will look back on February 2026 as an inflection point, where AI crossed over from being an interesting parlor trick to something that fundamentally and irreversibly altered what I do…

One part of me tries to resist and tell you that our craft is not becoming an archaic relic, the other half already knows you‘re right. We just can‘t put the ghost back into the bottle and now‘s a good time to re-calibrate your passion.

If you do not know yet. Artists had been destroyed first.

Re: The happiest I've ever been

#297

Post by bmikaili »

bloomingeek wrote: post #32

My new goals are: Seek beauty, Seek happiness and Don't make people sad. With a lot of effort, it's working. However, I soon discovered the last goal was the most difficult. Long story short, I keep my mouth shut a lot more. I feared, at first, that this would make me feel I was compromising myself somehow. But I also discovered that sometimes when I shared my opinion, knowing it was correct, I would later regret how…

https://www.cheltenhamzen.co.uk/writings/right-speech

It's hard.

Re: The happiest I've ever been

#298

Post by littlexsparkee »

joshkojoras wrote: post #249
bengale wrote: post #35

In the nicest possible way, this is basically the oldest lesson there is. You weren’t happy because you optimized your feelings or had the right opinions. You were happy because you stopped focusing on yourself and became responsible for other people. Six kids needed you, in the real world, every week. That kind of outward focus kills emptiness fast. Chasing happiness, moral righteousness, or political engagement jus…

^^ This comment sums up the entire philosophy of happiness very well, although you first have to go through life to get the context to understand it. I'm over 40 and single and childless. I work in Tech, have a good salary, a house, a car, investments and a second property. I have everything people work for in life but I'd give it all up for a family. I wish I hadn't been so proud and arrogant and full of myself when…

Just because you can't relate to a way of living doesn't mean it doesn't exist.

Re: The happiest I've ever been

#299

Post by Archer6621 »

mjdiloreto wrote: post #156
bityard wrote: post #74

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I look at it like this: Yes, AI can write code. It can write it much faster than I can. Sometimes it can also write it better than I can. But: programming languages, libraries, and abstractions are not going away. It is still possible (and might always be possible) to get deep into the weeds of Python or Rust or whatever to understand how those work and really harness them to their full potential, or develop them fur…

I mostly share your perspective, but I don't know if I would share your emphasis. Lines of code for dollars used to be a trade businesses made with developers out of necessity, but soon it will only be economically viable to make that trade with AI providers. So not only will going deep in the weeds not be compulsory, understanding anything about any programming concept will become economically void (though not void…

What makes you think that AI cannot become significantly better than humans at "understanding" and modelling the world? If the AI is always more likely to be right than you or me due to being able to take more variables/knowledge into account by default, then why ever listen to a human, or even to yourself when it comes to an economic decision?

My honest and rather pessimistic take is that in the long-term any craft that purely lives in the abstract is likely to be doomed.

Re: The happiest I've ever been

#300

Post by mchinen »

nvarsj wrote: post #40
bengale wrote: post #35

In the nicest possible way, this is basically the oldest lesson there is. You weren’t happy because you optimized your feelings or had the right opinions. You were happy because you stopped focusing on yourself and became responsible for other people. Six kids needed you, in the real world, every week. That kind of outward focus kills emptiness fast. Chasing happiness, moral righteousness, or political engagement jus…

There’s an entire generation of mostly childless adults who are shocked to find they enjoy contributing to others’ happiness. I have friends like this, their only purpose in life is to have no responsibilities, FIRE, and never give to anyone but themselves. Seems like a terribly depressing way to live but pretty common in tech/upper middle class circles.

This has clearly triggered a lot of people, with the full spectrum of arguments for and against having kids below. I'm bookmarking this as an example of driving engagement by taking a fairly benign topic ('helping others was rewarding!') with an extreme view on a topic that everyone has a stake in ('an entire generation lost the plot on life').

How amazing and ironic or a reminder it is that the comments below that seem the most reasonable and avoid generalizing an entire group of people or way of life are the ones that are the least likely to drive more comments because they are perfectly reasonable.

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