Hacker News Board Hacker News, browsed like a classic message board
Live data from Hacker News

Find Your People

foundersatwork.posthaven.com

Post reply on HN
Print view View original

291–297 of 297 posts

Re: Find Your People

#291

Post by NoMoreNicksLeft »

trinix912 wrote: post #256
NoMoreNicksLeft wrote: post #121

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I suspect very strongly that we live in a "post-community" world. There are no communities, and haven't been for a very long time, likely since before your grandparents were in their prime. We have any number of entities that function as surrogate communities, but without the benefits the real thing would provide. Quite often though, they have many of the disadvtanges of those, plus a few extra. The community you're…

Communities still exist, but you have to make an active effort to find and become a part of them. Hobbies often have communities, same with fandoms, church groups, etc. Online and offline, whichever you prefer.

>Hobbies often have communities, same with fandoms, church groups, etc.

Thank you for making my point.

Re: Find Your People

#292

Post by rufus_foreman »

gilbetron wrote: post #286
rufus_foreman wrote: post #145

Earlier quoted context omitted.

She mentions "want ambitious plans, have ambitious plans", "don't want ambitious plans, don't have ambitious plans" and "want ambitious plans, don't have ambitious plans". What are the vast number of groups outside of that set? Of course there's "have ambitious plans, don't want ambitious plans", which would probably be more interesting than the other three, but what are the other missing groups?

People aren't binary - there isn't just two groups of "want ambitious plans" and "don't want ambitious plans". It is reductive, there's all kinds of beliefs and desires between those two points. "want ambitious plans but needs to take care of aging parents" or "would like ambitious plans if it doesn't mean selling their soul" or any amount of nuance.

>> "want ambitious plans but needs to take care of aging parents"

That would be want ambitious plans, don't have ambitious plans.

>> "would like ambitious plans if it doesn't mean selling their soul"

That's don't want ambitious plans, don't have ambitious plans.

I mean you can do it as 2-D graph like political compass, but it's all pretty clear.

I'm in the lower left quadrant, don't want ambitious plans, don't have ambitious plans. Don't want any amount of nuance either. Don't want nuance, don't express nuance.

Re: Find Your People

#293

Post by sph »

nntwozz wrote: post #254
angrydev wrote: post #250

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I'm between jobs (burnout) and have found MMOs (Classic WoW) to be the only thing that makes sense anymore. What did you do to replace this and move on?

I changed my lifestyle from mainly indoor hobbies (series/movies/games/music) to mainly outdoor activities. I bought a dog, I started riding mountainbikes again (as I did when I was a kid) and I got into bushcraft. Now I live off grid with solar and firewood. In a sense I replaced the grinding part I did in the MMOs with taking care of the property. I hand fell trees and process them for firewood, the branches go int…

I feel inspired by your comment. I have gone through burn out, found unable to satisfy myself with gaming as I used to, and I am called to the wild and real work with my hands, that for the time being I am completely unable to indulge in. I am working on getting there, but for now I stare at my Steam account after work to decompress, unexcited by anything, bored to the gills, while deep in my heart all I want is to go mountain biking with a dog, carving wood, fixing a house and reading philosophy under a tree. I am still a few months away from being able to do all that, and it’s excruciating.

Re: Find Your People

#294

Post by game_the0ry »

jimbokun wrote: post #44
game_the0ry wrote: post #23

Earlier quoted context omitted.

As a south asian person, I could not agree more. The irony is that my parents were immigrant entrepreneurs and my grandparents were also entrepreneurs on both sides. Yet my parents pushed me towards medical school or a stable job at the least. I think this was for a couple reasons: 1. Asian parents express their insecurities through their children. They wanted a stable and high income (which maps to "doctor") so they…

Not Asian or South Asian. I'm sure what you're saying is true. But having parents that are not involved enough to push their kids towards anything in particular is a much bigger challenge to over come. If you have a degree from a prestigious university and the network that comes along with it, pivoting towards start ups or something more creative or entrepreneurial is a lot easier than if you never went to college at…

This is a fair point. I agree, there is a spectrum, and being more involved is better than being less involved.

Re: Find Your People

#295

Post by angrydev »

brailsafe wrote: post #269
angrydev wrote: post #250

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I'm between jobs (burnout) and have found MMOs (Classic WoW) to be the only thing that makes sense anymore. What did you do to replace this and move on?

I like what nntwozz is doing and how it's framed, but I'd add that I've been exactly in your position, first in 2020 and now periodically since then, with the exception that I've been playing retail instead of Classic. I think people tend to resent how much time they've spent on MMOs and go in the complete opposite direction, which I definitely did for about a decade and it helped me get my life on some sort of cours…

Thank you for sharing your experience. I think I am reaching a better understanding of my relationship with WoW and gaming in general with my free time. I think now I regard it as not addiction (since I'm really not forgoing anything 'important' to play) and more of just a "default" activity, developed long ago in my suburban childhood when my agency was far more limited than now. It served me well in those days which were chaotic, gave me something of my own that was well understood and I could control.

Now it feels like more of a crutch to fill free time, and not serving me well for the person I'd like to be. However, I do think there's a place for it, specifically with the world of vanilla. Just being in it for a bit fulfills some deeper need to connect with my past.

I just wish I could find something that engages me as much as it used to.

Re: Find Your People

#296

Post by angrydev »

sph wrote: post #293
nntwozz wrote: post #254

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I changed my lifestyle from mainly indoor hobbies (series/movies/games/music) to mainly outdoor activities. I bought a dog, I started riding mountainbikes again (as I did when I was a kid) and I got into bushcraft. Now I live off grid with solar and firewood. In a sense I replaced the grinding part I did in the MMOs with taking care of the property. I hand fell trees and process them for firewood, the branches go int…

I feel inspired by your comment. I have gone through burn out, found unable to satisfy myself with gaming as I used to, and I am called to the wild and real work with my hands, that for the time being I am completely unable to indulge in. I am working on getting there, but for now I stare at my Steam account after work to decompress, unexcited by anything, bored to the gills, while deep in my heart all I want is to g…

Sounds like you're close, well done! I can relate to no longer being fulfilled gaming. Satisfaction feels a lot more elusive for me these days, and gaming presents it so easily. I think that's why it's way harder now for me to be satisfied with slow burn hobbies.

Re: Find Your People

#297

Post by smeej »

shayway wrote: post #91
smeej wrote: post #34

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I came here to leave a comment related to this. This article has great advice, if you're normal enough that enough of "your people" exist to be able to find them and do something together. But if you've spent your whole life being told by the whole world--even people you thought were really interesting and wanted to get to know--that you're "just too fucking weird," it lands more like, "Oh. More advice for other peop…

> Similarly, if you're a person who likes all kinds of things--but only for 6 weeks to 6 months and then becomes utterly bored of them--there is no stable group of "your people." There's just "these people, for now, I guess," and you hold them lightly because you know in a matter of months, when you don't share the passion for the one thing they're stably obsessed with, you won't have enough in common anymore for the…

Hey, just FYI, I did shoot you an email. Just mentioning in case it didn't come through.
Post reply on HN