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I deleted my social media accounts

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Re: I deleted my social media accounts

#291

Post by Intermernet »

labster wrote: post #265
s1artibartfast wrote: post #245

Earlier quoted context omitted.

you would find out at church or any number of the 3rd places you shared. Yes, that may have been better, but that doesn't mean deleting social media automatically sends you back in time. Doubly so if all of your friends are still on social media and using it as the primary form of communication. Imagine deleting your email and telephone in 1999 and saying "if they were really my friend, they would drive/fly to my hou…

In 1999 we had obits and mail, just like in 1899. Of course now all of the newspapers are gone (what’s black and white and dead all over?), so notifying the local community is much harder than 25 years ago. Also some people back then would brag about not having a TV, the same way vegans still do today.

I didn't know not having a TV was a vegan thing...

Re: I deleted my social media accounts

#292

Post by walthamstow »

wruza wrote: post #29

I'm just not reading any of it - not interested. SM addiction is so 2015. I have technical accounts to be able to search for something (e.g. while training loras) or to watch without annoying popups when someone links me to it. This dramatic deletion is overreaction, solve the underlying problem instead. Rather than scrolling instagram and tiktok, visit /news and /newest, and then /ask, /show. If nothing interesting…

Very funny, glad I read to the end

Re: I deleted my social media accounts

#294

Post by kelnos »

nindalf wrote: post #38

This advice to quit social media is always a hit on HN. When I was 10 years younger I read the same thing on HN, was thoroughly convinced and quit social media. I even followed the advice of trying to stay in touch by email. Sure. Turns out that a lot of people I knew posted huge life updates that I completely missed out on. I asked them why they didn’t tell me and they were confused. They said the posted it on socia…

> Maybe that’s an ok tradeoff to make, but it’s worth knowing that before getting into it.

I think that's the key point. I realized that ultimately I didn't actually care about those huge life updates if they concerned people who I'm not in somewhat-regular contact with. Like, if my Facebook friend John Smith (let's say he's an old high-school friend I haven't seen since high school) posts about his marriage, or new job, or new child, and I don't actually chat with John anymore and don't know anything about his life outside of what I read on Facebook, why do I even care to know this stuff at all? And it turns out the answer is that... I don't! And there's nothing wrong with that. It's not rude or mean; some people are the closest of friends, and some people barely even warrant the "acquaintance" tag -- and everything in between -- and there's nothing wrong with any of that.

And yes, I've missed social media posts about big-life stuff from closer friends who I do care about, but that's fine! I chat with those people via some avenue (email, text, messaging group, real-life, whatever) often enough that I still get those big-life updates, and usually it's in a more personalized manner, that gets me details that are tailored to the level of closeness of our friendship.

For people who I'm not super close with, but still maintain a relationship with, maybe I get that update about their life 6 months later, when we are next in contact. That's also fine! If we were closer friends, we'd chat more often, and I'd hear about it earlier. But we're not, and I don't, and there's nothing wrong with that.

> a lack of social media meant that I have lost touch with old acquaintances completely. I have a few close friends and that’s it.

That's more your choice than anything else. You always have the option to text or email someone directly to say hello and see how they're doing, or to set up a time to meet in person to catch up. Even if they're perhaps not the one-on-one type of friends, you can start a group chat with that person and other mutual friends who might enjoy keeping in touch that way. There are so so so many options for communication these days that it's almost overwhelming! But it certainly need not be a binary between "social media firehose of every person I've ever met" and "I only hear about the lives of few people".

Is it important to you to be in touch with those old acquaintances? If so, reach out to them! If not, then it sounds like quitting social media was fine for you.

Re: I deleted my social media accounts

#295

Post by shafyy »

labster wrote: post #265
s1artibartfast wrote: post #245

Earlier quoted context omitted.

you would find out at church or any number of the 3rd places you shared. Yes, that may have been better, but that doesn't mean deleting social media automatically sends you back in time. Doubly so if all of your friends are still on social media and using it as the primary form of communication. Imagine deleting your email and telephone in 1999 and saying "if they were really my friend, they would drive/fly to my hou…

In 1999 we had obits and mail, just like in 1899. Of course now all of the newspapers are gone (what’s black and white and dead all over?), so notifying the local community is much harder than 25 years ago. Also some people back then would brag about not having a TV, the same way vegans still do today.

God damn vegans and their non-TVs, what assholes!

Edit: Jokes aside, I'm vegan and I don't own a TV. Coincidence? Haha

Re: I deleted my social media accounts

#296

Post by monssooon »

nindalf wrote: post #38

This advice to quit social media is always a hit on HN. When I was 10 years younger I read the same thing on HN, was thoroughly convinced and quit social media. I even followed the advice of trying to stay in touch by email. Sure. Turns out that a lot of people I knew posted huge life updates that I completely missed out on. I asked them why they didn’t tell me and they were confused. They said the posted it on socia…

I also quit social media . I did not have this experience. I had no problem following what went on with friends and acquaintances?! I don't know why you had this experience. I'm sorry you felt like that. but for me the info that is important always gets to me. And I enjoy emailing and using the phone and meeting people for social events in stead. And when I miss some post on face I always hear it from someone else....

Re: I deleted my social media accounts

#297

Post by paganel »

parsimo2010 wrote: post #64
nindalf wrote: post #38

This advice to quit social media is always a hit on HN. When I was 10 years younger I read the same thing on HN, was thoroughly convinced and quit social media. I even followed the advice of trying to stay in touch by email. Sure. Turns out that a lot of people I knew posted huge life updates that I completely missed out on. I asked them why they didn’t tell me and they were confused. They said the posted it on socia…

The messages about going cold turkey are popular, but you do miss out on a lot. I deleted all my social media in 2015, and didn’t mind too much, but years later when I met my wife (and there was more pressure to be social) I made accounts again so people could message me and I’ve been able to hold back from spending all my time doomscrolling. I think the social part of social media can be good for us, and we have to…

> algorithm to show you less toxicity- at least on Instagram

In the case of IG what worked for me, without me even trying to be explicit about it, was to like and watch lots of photos/reels involving dogs and dog-ownership and right now my IG feed is 90% full with dog-related posts, and that’s the way I like it. Maybe it works the same way if one were to adopt similar strategies for other subjects of interest, such as cats, owning cars etc., the thing is that there’s almost no political/societal info on my feed anymore.

Re: I deleted my social media accounts

#298

Post by openrisk »

When something is used by billions of people its kinda futile to argue about its utility. But then billions are addicted to tobacco, alcohol, drugs, gambling etc. and those benefiting from providing these "services" will do everything they can to keep people addicted while arguing that they are solving a real problem.

The reality is always a mundane core that gets complicated by human tragicomedy. Of course its wholesome to be able to connect digitally with friends and family. Its also a great economic enabler to connect digitally with professionals. Or to be able to publish to a bulletin board about your brilliant accomplishments.

But to paraphrase Gates, we need these connections, we don't need the self-appointed universal connectors.

Its 2025, and this is HN. I put it to you that technically the only thing preventing us today from having good "connections infrastructure" is the corrupting influence of big adtech. One possible vision of how to organize the digital space in technical and economic terms has become the only vision.

Re: I deleted my social media accounts

#299

Post by kelnos »

slg wrote: post #186
hypeatei wrote: post #88

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> Turns out that a lot of people I knew posted huge life updates that I completely missed out on This doesn't really seem that important if your only method of knowing this was a post blasted to hundreds (or thousands) of people. Or, to put it another way: if you mattered, you would've gotten a direct message or call from them. I'd argue that social media has normalized keeping up with people who aren't supposed to b…

>if you mattered, you would've gotten a direct message or call from them. That ignores the asymmetry of a lot of life events. For example, if a parent died, I'm not going to call everyone in my life to tell them, I would have more important stuff on my mind. I might post it on social media and then the onus is on other people to reach out to me. And if someone doesn't reach out, it will hurt the relationship a little…

My mother died when I was in college, before social media was a thing. I told a few closer friends about it, and asked them to spread the news and to tell others that I didn't really want to talk about it. I was missing a few weeks of the semester because of it, and knew that people would ask me where I'd been once I was back, and knew I wouldn't have the emotional bandwidth to tell everyone the story over and over and over, and accept their condolences gracefully.

It makes me really sad if it's true that people assume that when they post big, difficult stuff like that on social media, anyone who doesn't see it doesn't care about them. Even for people who are active on social media, the feed and post promotion algorithms make it fairly likely that a decent chunk of people who really should see that post might not see it.

Re: I deleted my social media accounts

#300

Post by ramon156 »

tobyhinloopen wrote: post #287

Browsing social media while working is easily solved by not logging in on these services on your work machine or browser. I have social media logged in on another instance of my browser, so I actively have to switch profiles to browse social media. This added step makes it hard enough to not mindlessly browse it.

Staying in that theme, remove social media apps from your homepage. It's an extra step to have to look for it through your apps
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