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Quitting the rat race

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Re: Quitting the rat race

#291

Post by mattejade »

anonreeeeplor wrote: post #180
lapcat wrote: post #82

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> I think I'm old enough now to confidently say that, yes: Happiness really does start from within. What does age have to do with it? You're one person. It's anecdotal data. I'm old enough now (5 years later) to confidently say that, yes: Quitting my last job really did make me happier.

Yes. I quit and then asked: “what if I stayed and do I regret leaving” on my last 4 companies. Universally the answer is no I don’t regret it. One imploded and laid off like 60% of people after turning into a nasty political hell hole. Another laid off massively and is now world renowned as a failed story. Another gave me zero opportunities and everyone was yelling at each other all the time. Believe me, I tried to e…

I think many of the people who say that "happiness must come from within" are making a logical leap. It's true, you could go out and make lots of life changes yet still be unhappy. But that doesn't mean /every/ life change is futile for our happiness. Perhaps you just didn't change it in the right way!

From a more scientific perspective, there have been plenty of studies done on happiness, and it's virtually undeniable that our external environment has at least /some/ effect on our happiness.[1] I'd argue that one has to ignore or dismiss a massive wealth of studies in psychology to insist that happiness only comes from within.

[1] Since I'm talking broadly, this might act as a good summary - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hedonic_treadmill

Re: Quitting the rat race

#292

Post by temende »

xnx wrote: post #77

Everyone making $200k+ should definitely immediately quit and follow this path so I can swoop in for some of that cash.

There are plenty of $200k SWE jobs available (largely but not exclusively at FAANG), I don't think you need to wait for other people to leave.

Re: Quitting the rat race

#293

Post by sunsunsunsun »

wombatpm wrote: post #108
sunsunsunsun wrote: post #100

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Tell this to my employer. They require me to log >= 40 hours per week, they have no problem with overtime but get a stick up their ass about undertime. I lie pretty much every week on my timesheet unless I happen to do overtime that week. Most people I talk to in the company do the same.

Do your hours get billed to a contract or client? Then it makes sense. It’s just a shitty contract that does not account for overhead properly If it doesn’t, then you are just working for assholes

Nope we are not billed to any contract or client.

Re: Quitting the rat race

#294

Post by temende »

wnolens wrote: post #96

Ah yes.. the trope of overpaid (with respect to history) millennial writing about their transcendence from this absurd thing called 'work'. Not judging harshly because I did nearly the same as the author years ago! Only I found a pot of emptiness at the end of the rainbow. I hope he really REALLY likes mountains ;)

So you tried doing what the OP did and ended up going back to your job? Would love to hear more if you don't mind expanding.

Re: Quitting the rat race

#295

Post by gymbeaux »

ericmcer wrote: post #255
gymbeaux wrote: post #167

Earlier quoted context omitted.

If I worked a blue-collar/service job, making 1/5th what I make as a SWE, having to commute, stand on my feet all day, deal with customers... I'd do drugs. Like I get it. I get why people do drugs. I get why people don't save money for retirement. Life sucks SO MUCH, that it's basically the daily $5 Starbucks drink or suicide. Make no mistake, for most people, life fucking sucks. Then some of you come into that Chipo…

I mean I worked at Safeway, Trader Joe’s and a bunch of other terrible jobs from age 15-27. Low skill labor/service jobs are not bad at all when you don’t have much context. Sharing one bathroom with 4 roommates who party constantly would be a nightmare for me now, but as an 18 year old who it was a paradise. It’s all relative, and you are viewing their jobs through the lens of an engineer making 6 figures.

The "these are starter jobs!" argument is tired and invalid, because so many Americans north of 20 (30, even) are working those jobs. I almost want to say you should know I am not thinking about teenagers/college students in my previous comment.

Re: Quitting the rat race

#296

Post by safety1st »

BaseballPhysics wrote: post #67
BizarreByte wrote: post #8

It’s a short piece, but it resonates with me, specifically this part: > I’m earning the most money I’ve ever made and yet I’m the least fulfilled I’ve ever been. I’m making the most I’ve ever made and I’ve never been less happy and more depressed. I despise being a cog in a huge corporate machine, it’s like the job was designed to be as unappealing as possible. At the same time I can’t get over the fact that I have i…

Bluntly, every person I know who's expressed these kinds of sentiments is guilty of the same mistake: externalizing their happiness. They inevitably move, only to find the new place they're in sucks, just in different ways. Or they find another job, but just discover more things they hate there. Or they find a new partner, only to discover a new set of annoyances. The same psychology leads people to think they'll be…

I'm going to go out on a limb and disagree with the idea that happiness comes from within.

For two reasons: 1) it contradicts my lived experience and 2) it contradicts research.

Let's start with money. I used to be poor and now I'm not anymore. I used to have all kinds of anxieties about money, surprise surprise, once I put my nose to the grind, earned more of it, and developed a healthy financial cushion, those anxieties disappeared and I became happier.

My anecdote isn't the only data point, there's research out there which indicates that more money correlates with more happiness (though the effect has diminishing returns once you hit the upper middle class).

There are at least three really big external factors I'm aware of which are correlated to happiness in a big way.

1. Money

2. A supportive network of family and peers

3. Health and fitness

Every time we look we find that as people improve their circumstances in these areas, they report greater happiness and fulfillment in their lives.

I'm not saying that striving for inner peace and all that is necessarily a waste of time. It has its benefits. But frankly I think if you want to be happy you can do a lot worse than busting your hump to sort out the three things I just mentioned. If you're broke, sick and alone, inner peace isn't really a priority. Working on those problems is.

Re: Quitting the rat race

#297

Post by rubicon33 »

bradly wrote: post #237
rubicon33 wrote: post #193

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Thank you for explaining how you did it!

No problem. I don't often share the details because I don't want to assume that what worked for me would work for others. Here are a few more details: - There is a rule of thumb that you need 20-25x your annual expenses in networth. So if you spend $8k a month, you can retire at a net worth of just between 2 and 2.5 million. - Whenever I refinanced I always round down to the nearest loan term. A lot of people refinan…

These are some awesome tips, thanks again for sharing them!

Do you have any more details anywhere (blog, etc.)? I'd love to read about it.

Just as the OP here frustrated me by not explaining their process, others like you really help and make me happy to read about how they do/did it.

It inspires me to make changes in my own life to live more conservatively financially. I already make an effort to do so but its nice to be reminded that there is more you can do. Solar + Electric car should be next on my list.

Do you have a recommendation for a good used electric car?

Re: Quitting the rat race

#299

Post by gymbeaux »

sgtnoodle wrote: post #287
gymbeaux wrote: post #214

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I don't even have a wife and kids yet, but I already find many of the video games I enjoyed as a teenager to be too demanding. Fallout New Vegas was an awesome game, and I remember spending virtually my entire summer vacation one year playing through Fallout 3. I gave New Vegas another go recently and it just feels like work. It sucks. Like I just want to get through the game so it will be done.

Indeed, I resemble that remark. I've been on paternity leave for the last couple months with kid 2. I have 10 minute slivers of down time throughout the day, and I can sacrifice sleep for a few hours of focus at night. I've been playing through L.A. Noire just to cross it off my bucket list, and I shamelessly refer to walkthroughs on every case. It's an alternative to watching a TV show in the evening. Typically when…

I will say for CoD specifically, since the original Nazi Zombies mode was introduced in the original World at War ("CoD 5") in 2008, the franchise has made the Zombies mode INCREDIBLY complicated. Long gone are the days of holding down a room until you and your friends are overrun. Nowadays you have to solve puzzles, do various "chores" to access things like the Pack a Punch station... It's lost all its charm.

LA Noire and other games like it (e.g. Red Dead Redemption, Destroy All Humans!) seem to have the opposite problem, where I seem to remember the game being more engaging and challenging (in a fun way) than it is now. I guess that's a result of growing up and getting "smarter".

We haven't even touched on the micro-transactions/pay-to-win stuff...

As for the panic attack- I read an interesting book recently called The Body Keeps the Score. It's about PTSD and how, even today under the DSM V, it and similar conditions aren't getting the attention they deserve. While reading this book, I realized that my "fascination" with Dead By Daylight (similar to Left 4 Dead) might be rooted in adrenaline/stress hormones rather than pleasure hormones. Indeed, I had (have) several "hobbies" that my brain seems to be interested in for the stress they cause (like stock trading, holy fuck). The book poses that my subconscious thirst for stressful activity is actually a coping mechanism that is derived from my dysfunctional attachment style to my parents and my subsequent childhood experiences. In other words, stress and worry are all I've ever known. I'm in therapy and taking an SSRI for this now, and I'm significantly better than I was, mentally.

Re: Quitting the rat race

#300

Post by gymbeaux »

mythhouse wrote: post #247
gymbeaux wrote: post #218

Earlier quoted context omitted.

In MOST other first-world countries, the working class has the RIGHT to elect to work less than 40 hours/5 days per week (in exchange for a proportional reduction in salary). In some cases, you must be a parent to be eligible for this.. but yeah, in places like New Zealand and The Netherlands, if you don't want to work 5 days a week, you don't have to.

> In MOST other first-world countries, the working class has the RIGHT to elect to work less than 40 hours/5 days per week (in exchange for a proportional reduction in salary) I work for a large swedish company in USA. None of my coworkers in sweden work less than 40 hrs, like not even one. So is having that choice really relevant and does it really make it different than USA.

I'm not familiar with the laws of Sweden, but a quick Google search suggests there is a law on the books limiting the workweek to 40 hours. Even if that is only marginally-heeded, it's leaps and bounds ahead of the United States.

If Swedish residents can work fewer than 40 hours at their discretion, why is it you think most in your circle do not take advantage of this?

Qualtrics released the results of a survey recently stating that 92% of Americans are in favor of a 4-day workweek (that's not necessarily 32-hours)[1]

[1]https://www.qualtrics.com/blog/four-day-work-week/

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