The benefits of staying off social media • Hacker News Board

Re: The benefits of staying off social media

#291

Post by mippenhappen » Tue, Nov 09, 2021, 10:15 AM UTC

ipdashc wrote: post #90

pkdpic wrote: post #12

> A futuristic dystopia. A place where the real world sucks. Where people consider talking to someone a chore. Connection, closeness, ambition are replaced by detachment and dogmatic slumber. Society is satisfied with shallow thoughts and the pursuit of artificially created stimuli in an imaginary world. Beautifully written top-notch orwellian poetry. Seriously inspiring. Also as someone who has only ever used social…

> Where people consider talking to someone a chore. This bit in particular really hit me. I've noticed a rising trend around the Internet (or maybe I was just blind to it before), mostly on Reddit, of people who really do seem to consider any sort of real-life social interaction a chore and an attack. I forget the exact context, I think the conversation that stood out to me was about someone in a gas station or somet…

>Where people consider talking to someone a chore.

It is definitely chore to me. I'm however not claiming to be normal. I'm a hardcore misanthropist and overall pessimist. I have never in my 32 years of life enjoyed talking to people, and I have never been active on social media either (other than posting an extremely rare comment like this).

Re: The benefits of staying off social media

#292

Post by cpach » Tue, Nov 09, 2021, 11:24 AM UTC

irrational wrote: post #286

honkdaddy wrote: post #276

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Someone complimented my hat in the subway today. I mentioned I got it back in Toronto, and we chatted about how disappointed we are in the Leafs. What is so unenjoyable about that? How can one spend 50 years on this earth and find human conversation, something we literally evolved to do, so uninviting? I just don't understand.

I can literally go weeks without speaking a word (I have), and I am totally comfortable with that. I would have made a great monk with a vow of silence. I am very comfortable in my own skin and don't need interaction with other people to maintain good and positive mental health.

Ah. Very interesting. I really appreciate you sharing this, makes me ponder how people can have very different preferences. I would become incredibly restless after 3-4 days of not speaking to anyone. Different strokes for different folks I guess!

Re: The benefits of staying off social media

#293

Post by raxxorrax » Tue, Nov 09, 2021, 12:32 PM UTC

ipdashc wrote: post #90

pkdpic wrote: post #12

> A futuristic dystopia. A place where the real world sucks. Where people consider talking to someone a chore. Connection, closeness, ambition are replaced by detachment and dogmatic slumber. Society is satisfied with shallow thoughts and the pursuit of artificially created stimuli in an imaginary world. Beautifully written top-notch orwellian poetry. Seriously inspiring. Also as someone who has only ever used social…

> Where people consider talking to someone a chore. This bit in particular really hit me. I've noticed a rising trend around the Internet (or maybe I was just blind to it before), mostly on Reddit, of people who really do seem to consider any sort of real-life social interaction a chore and an attack. I forget the exact context, I think the conversation that stood out to me was about someone in a gas station or somet…

Not a fan of small talk, especially while working (I differentiate conversation and small talk). But some people really go to extremes. Perhaps social media is the cause here because people are finally so afraid of each other that having to answer something feels like a terrorist attack.

I do prefer the polite gesture of small talk to not saying anything in some cases and can understand that people generally think so as well. And in some instances you really meet a new friend. Unlikely in business environments and yes there are some people that do too much small talk. But that isn't really an imposition.

Re: The benefits of staying off social media

#294

Post by raxxorrax » Tue, Nov 09, 2021, 12:37 PM UTC

rhino369 wrote: post #108

ipdashc wrote: post #90

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> Where people consider talking to someone a chore. This bit in particular really hit me. I've noticed a rising trend around the Internet (or maybe I was just blind to it before), mostly on Reddit, of people who really do seem to consider any sort of real-life social interaction a chore and an attack. I forget the exact context, I think the conversation that stood out to me was about someone in a gas station or somet…

Reddit has a culture that normalizes the symptoms of social anxiety. They call it introversion, but the way its described is 100% social anxiety. I am sympathetic, I have it too. Hell, ever male in my dad's family line seems to have it. But its a problem that needs to be treated and not a character trait that needs to be respected. The WORST thing you can do for social anxiety (or any anxiety) is to avoid trigger it.…

Being introverted isn't the same as social anxiety. I do agree that it seems that way on parts of reddit though (there are also completely socially oblivious people that perhaps are even unable to suffer social anxiety).

That people suffer from it is no wonder when you go from one purity spiral to the next one but that is certainly something large social media companies reproduce at least involuntarily.

Re: The benefits of staying off social media

#295

Post by raxxorrax » Tue, Nov 09, 2021, 12:43 PM UTC

GDC7 wrote: post #272

tayo42 wrote: post #261

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I don't get what a social win/loss is?

Again success, dominating the room, being at the center of the attention at parties, people being receptive when you go talk to them, after the aforementioned positive reception also showing openess for a second encounter.

But when you get caught in curating the environment that leads to a "win", it would probably hit strongly the other way.

I disagree about the win/loss theory in general though. I think it is really a dissonance about what people expect and value in in or out groups.

Someone afraid to speak up in certain groups might be quite outgoing in another. So there isn't really an absolute level of success. There are also very successful people that are anxious. Expectations towards yourself play a large role though.

Re: The benefits of staying off social media

#296

Post by raxxorrax » Tue, Nov 09, 2021, 12:46 PM UTC

tremon wrote: post #222

munchbunny wrote: post #100

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I think it's an over-correction around the introversion/extroversion divide. It's true that sometimes I just don't want to be bothered while I'm running errands, but I wouldn't consider someone making small talk, cracking a joke in the elevator, etc. to be some sort of social transgression. As an introvert, chatting or small talk isn't really a chore, and I waste enough of my own time on my own time, so what's a few…

cracking a joke in the elevator I disagree with this. What people consider funny varies a lot from person to person, and a stranger trying to joke with me comes across as rude. A friendly nod, saying hello, that's fine. Approaching me and immediately assuming that we have enough in common to enjoy the same humor? Sorry, but that's creepy.

I enjoy creepy people. Far better than some over-serious princesses. Well, if the "joke" is farting in the elevator...

Re: The benefits of staying off social media

#297

Post by raxxorrax » Tue, Nov 09, 2021, 12:50 PM UTC

adventured wrote: post #133

ipdashc wrote: post #90

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> Where people consider talking to someone a chore. This bit in particular really hit me. I've noticed a rising trend around the Internet (or maybe I was just blind to it before), mostly on Reddit, of people who really do seem to consider any sort of real-life social interaction a chore and an attack. I forget the exact context, I think the conversation that stood out to me was about someone in a gas station or somet…

> Guys... we're humans. It isn't a crime to make small talk. It's not a chore to open your mouth. That's not uncommon in many parts of Europe, Germany for example. People in Germany are commonly rude (compared to American standards) in response to attempts at small talk (by strangers). Some cultures plainly frown upon small talk with strangers and in those cultures people find it uncomfortable at best.

That is a complete wrong stereotype in my opinion. While there are such people, there are as many that talk your ear off if you don't stop them. Perhaps I belong to the former group and perceive it this way, but it certainly isn't seen as rude or anything.

Re: The benefits of staying off social media

#298

Post by raxxorrax » Tue, Nov 09, 2021, 12:57 PM UTC

jgon wrote: post #277

jimbokun wrote: post #147

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Microsoft arguably did. The anti-trust action against them did not cost them a lot of cash directly, but it did lead to heightened scrutiny on further anti-competitive practices. And it wasn't too long after that the FAANGs came to displace Microsoft as the dominant technology companies. Could be a coincidence, but I personally feel like there was a connection.

You'd have to think that if Microsoft hadn't been hit with the anti-trust baton, that they would have never tolerated a program like Firefox becoming as popular as it did, let alone Chrome, and that they would have been much more successful at keeping the web neutered or at least highly captive to whatever they let Internet Explorer define, and at that point how do you get things like Facebook and Google coming about…

I think a large part of Googles initial success was that is had many users viciously defending them. I was not a super fan but did too when I was younger, configured hundreds of devices to use Google search and people stayed with it.

They became victim to the same corporate diseases that plague all public companies after a while.

Re: The benefits of staying off social media

#299

Post by throwaway2037 » Tue, Nov 09, 2021, 3:26 PM UTC

jannyfer wrote: post #230

micromacrofoot wrote: post #102

Earlier quoted context omitted.

>I forget the exact context, I think the conversation that stood out to me was about someone in a gas station or something, trying to make friendly conversation with another shopper next to them, along the lines of "oh that's a cool hat". And the consensus of the thread was "yeah that's awful, why would you do that, why are you subjecting them to the labor of talking to you" or such. This is kind of an American way o…

> This is kind of an American way of thinking. Small talk with strangers is weird in many places. I agree it depends on where you are, though I'm not sure about the "American" categorization. I was in Seoul where small talk with strangers was completely weird... then I went to a different city in South Korea, Busan, where people would chat you up all over the place (waiting in line, in a street food stall, at the sau…

Thank you to share you insights about Seoul vs Busan! I never knew about the history of Busan. I have heard similar things about Tokyo vs Osaka, where people in Tokyo are comparatively less open (to random, public interactions) and more personally reserved.

Re: The benefits of staying off social media

#300

Post by stefandesu » Tue, Nov 09, 2021, 3:38 PM UTC

bityard wrote: post #73

I have been practicing "write-only" social media for about the last 5 years. It became a compromise between wanting to stay in touch with friends and extended family while not wasting too much of my own extremely valuable free time inside some corporation's walled sandbox. The reality of it that 99% of social media is politics (arguing), hot-takes, and memes. And all of it has negative intellectual value. In write-on…

While reading through the comments here, I've been thinking about doing this exact thing, in particular with Instagram. It's the main platform for me to stay in touch with (mostly overseas) friends, but I have the tendency to get stuck in the suggested posts and waste too much time there.

Ideally, I'd like to have an app for Instagram which has ONLY posts from people I follow (and messaging). No suggested posts, no ads, no reels. I don't think even things like Instagram++ can do this though, unfortunately.