Yeah so for us in the States, the concept of a college fund is just a bank account that parents deposit money into over the course of a child's life so when they reach college age there isn't anxiety about the cost of college.
I assumed as much, but why would a student get physically removed from campus just because they didn't have one??
It's not that I didn't have one, it's that my mom lied to me about having one and was instead writing bad checks to the college. They didn't like checks bouncing so I had a few days to get off campus or else.
Yeah of course. The alternative to marrying is living a celibate life, which is seen in Catholic Church as preferable to marriage. Having sex outside of marriage (and, for pleasure only) is of course wrong. As is using contraceptives; as that moves sex to just pleasure.
Interesting! Sorry if this is getting off topic, but how does the Catholic Church feel about using sex as a method for developing closeness and intimacy with a partner, rather than as purely an avenue for pleasure? I imagine that's still frowned upon?
(Not Catholic, but Orthodox, which is similar enough in this matter.) The idea is more along the lines of saying that just as a human person is both body and soul, and neglect of either leads to death, the Catholic view is that the marriage itself, as well as each "marital act" should be: "Free (voluntary in the fullest sense), Total (complete sharing of self & life with the other), Faithful (to each other, exclusively), and Fruitful (pretty straightforward)". It wouldn't be good enough to say a woman married freely, so consent doesn't matter for each act. Or that a couple is generally monogamous, with some exceptions. So the "procreative" and "unitive" purposes of sex are considered to be inseparable without some debasement of the act. Hope that helps.
> Gratitude is when others do things you appreciate, that are generous, for your benefit, roughly speaking. This is incorrect. You have a definition error. GRAT'ITUDE, noun [Latin gratitudo, from gratus, pleasing. See Grace.] An emotion of the heart, excited by a favor or benefit received; a sentiment of kindness or good will towards a benefactor; thankfulness. gratitude is an agreeable emotion, consisting in or acco…
Words don't have an objective, immutable meaning that you get to present as facts. I am however going to concede and withdraw my further participation on the matter. You may find this interesting: https://philosophyforchange.wordpress.com/2014/03/11/meaning...
Words don't have an objective, immutable meaning
that's not the point. you can redefine gratitude all you want. but then your use of of the word gratitude no longer applies to the feeling i want to express when someone gives me something.
in other words: your redefinition of the word gratitude to imply narcissism does not make my expression of gratitude narcissistic.
we are talking about observable human behavior here, not about word definitions. if you believe that expressing gratitude is narcissistic then you have a problem. (and if you believe that the definition of a word changes the meaning of an act, then you have two problems)
I assumed as much, but why would a student get physically removed from campus just because they didn't have one??
It's not that I didn't have one, it's that my mom lied to me about having one and was instead writing bad checks to the college. They didn't like checks bouncing so I had a few days to get off campus or else.
Believe it or not there was an outcry here when fees were introduced for tertiary education. But you pay them using a government-backed interest-free loan - I think it took me 6 or 7 years to pay off two degrees? Still, as I said, even if for whatever reason you attended lectures etc. without having paid for enrolment, nobody would care.
> Plus, he is in a relationship where his partner is supportive of his dreams and long hours. The fact that he needs a servant-wife to be able to support his career is a red flag. Having so many children and spending so much time working also means he can't have meaningful relationships with all of them.
Why do you assume he "needs" her to support his career? Many founders are deliberately single and not in a relationship to focus on their startup, and do perfectly fine. And how could you call someone a "servant-wife" just for choosing to be a stay-at-home mother? In what universe is that not completely disrespectful to people who choose to be stay-at-home mothers? You are calling a person a "servant" for being a mot…
It's pure coincidence that it's the woman who stays at home, right?
Obviously it's not quite the same thing, but reminds me of an old neighbour we had. She used to love baking, and would bring round cakes/pastries/bread for us all the time. It was really nice at first, but also made us feel very awkward/bad that we didn't reciprocate (neither of us really cook much), even though we'd never asked for the cakes. Eventually we had to ask her to stop, since we just didn't want to eat tha…
Debts are what bind neighbors and communities together. You felt bad because you were in debt to her giving but didn't want to have a relationship with that person by reciprocating. Often, the worst thing you can do in relationships is to get out of debt. Debts are a reason for people to see each other. By telling that person to 'stop baking', you told them essentially 'i don't want to have a relationship with you'.…
Looking back at it, I have plenty of good relationships that don't involve debts, maybe because I've avoided any that did.
I've always been very uncomfortable about being in debt to anyone for anything unasked for, that just seems manipulative to me.
I've not read David Graber's book though, added to my (evergrowing...) reading list, thanks.
>I believe a well-orchestrated prenup, If you think you need a prenup, you probably shouldn't get married.
Dead wrong. Almost no one thinks they need a prenup at the time of marriage, because they fail to project forward on a long enough timeline. Relationships can morph dramatically within 2 years, let alone 10, 20, etc. Yours is the illogic that has resulted in financial devastation for many a sorry soul.
Not dead wrong, if you're marrying for tax/insurance benefits and think you need a prenup you probably shouldn't be getting married. Marriage is first, and foremost, a religious thing and if you're going into it thinking "this is going to fail and my partner is going to try and screw me over" you simply shouldn't be getting married.
Yeah of course. The alternative to marrying is living a celibate life, which is seen in Catholic Church as preferable to marriage. Having sex outside of marriage (and, for pleasure only) is of course wrong. As is using contraceptives; as that moves sex to just pleasure.
No wonder the Catholic church is losing members at an unprecedented rate
Eh we are around for few thousand of years and we have been through worse.
“And if your right hand should be your downfall, cut it off and throw it away; for it will do you less harm to lose one part of yourself than to have your whole body go to hell.”
I’d be interested to hear more. I have come to realize that I am very self centered, but I can’t quite figure out why. I tend to get very caught up and focused on what is going on in my life and never stop to think about others. It is more that the thought never occurs to me, as opposed to me consciously prioritizing myself over others. My wife on the other hand is very thoughtful, always checking in on others to see…
Have you ever considered whether you may have ADHD? Not saying it’s the case. But if so, that would be an explanation that would make sense to me.
My therapist mentioned the same thing to me recently so I suppose it is worth investigating further.
I had never considered it before that, probably due to lack of understanding of what ADD/ADHD is (when I was growing up the stereotype was high energy kids bouncing off the walls and unable to sit still and focus in class, whereas I was low energy, introverted, and had always done well in school and work so it was never a thought).
> Plus, he is in a relationship where his partner is supportive of his dreams and long hours. The fact that he needs a servant-wife to be able to support his career is a red flag. Having so many children and spending so much time working also means he can't have meaningful relationships with all of them.
Why do you think that this isn't what she wants also?
I never said that she doesn't want it. Perhaps if society gave women the same expectations and opportunities as man, then she would have wanted to swap roles. But we'll never know.