Hacker News Board Hacker News, browsed like a classic message board
Live data from Hacker News

Why are young people having so little sex? (2018)

theatlantic.com

Post reply on HN
Print view View original

281–290 of 320 posts

Re: Why are young people having so little sex? (2018)

#281

Post by jdrc »

hiran88 wrote: post #80
jstx1 wrote: post #47

Earlier quoted context omitted.

This has no backing in actual science (regardless of what the cult-like communities on reddit and similar places claim). I think a lot of people misattribute many of their problems to porn because (1) they watch porn and (2) they have some serious life problems. But that doesn't mean that (1) causes (2).

I would be surprised if the scientific mechanisms behind this aren’t discovered within the next 10 years, due to the prevalence of this issue (if what you’re saying is indeed true that this has no current backing in science). If you’re a porn user, I would suggest that you give it a try and observe what happens in your direct experience. Take a break from porn and masturbation. I think that if your discernment is sub…

There are studies about what abstinence does to hormones. At day seven there is a peak of testosterone then it drops back.

What would the science explain? that people like sexual activity, alone or with partner? that's not exactly new. A habit becomes a problem when it is compulsive. This is rare. It's also not an entirely new situation. For most of history prostitution was widely available, even state-regulated for low prices in cases. But it s not like they all became sex addicts, it was rare.

Re: Why are young people having so little sex? (2018)

#282

Post by jdrc »

hef19898 wrote: post #125
Throwaway8373 wrote: post #100

One of my greatest problems is knowing what is right and wrong when courting for a mate. The rules are changing so rapidly that what I learned in sex-ed is outdated, and not even talking about what my parents could teach me. The public discourse on sex is also mostly negative and discouraging. And this is what we meditate on a daily basis -- when you hear more about women feeling the need to wear, well weapons, when…

Treat them with respect, eye contact, don't make about sex and generally don't be a dick. Usually works in all social circumstances.

of course everyone should be respectful of each other but why is talking about sexual intentions disrespectful?

Re: Why are young people having so little sex? (2018)

#283

Post by jdrc »

disambiguation wrote: post #225

This article is extensive but surprisingly doesn't discuss religion at all, which we know has been in steep decline in the west. While not specific to young people, it seems birth rates are strongly correlated to religiosity. > Model 1 confirms that women for whom religion is important in daily life have higher fertility intentions (table 4). Compared to non-religious women, who intend two children on average, women…

it also correlates with being poor, and being uneducated. Fertility is not the object here, but sexuality

Re: Why are young people having so little sex? (2018)

#284

Post by jdrc »

danShumway wrote: post #162

What the heck is wrong with older generations? Leave young people alone, they literally can't win in this discussion. This article is filled with baseless pseudoscience and random cultural anxiety, and without any real substance the article just ties all of it to this phenomenon that isn't even really definitively bad. People look at anything different about teenagers and young adults, and this becomes an opportunity…

this is more intersting than the article. Times have changed, some people haven't

Re: Why are young people having so little sex? (2018)

#285

Post by zozbot234 »

bradlys wrote: post #276
zozbot234 wrote: post #267

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> There is no bridging that gap There's plenty of ways in a real-world context. No, friendship alone will not do it of course, but having the right attitude will. She really needs to find you intuitively compelling in a general sense, and this will be practically interchangeable with physical attractiveness in her mind. One reason I know this is that it works just fine the other way around. Many guys have experienced…

> No, friendship alone will not do it of course, but having the right attitude will. This is very much "power of friendship" put into different wording. It's the same thing, man. Stop saying this is normal - it's by definition exceptional . I'm not saying it can't happen. I'm saying it's hella unlikely and no one should rely on that as a mechanism because it generally doesn't work. Also - just to let you know - never…

> ... Are you that out of touch with how much most women in the USA are deeply ingrained with associating their natural beauty with their own worth? ...

Just because you don't want to phrase things like that to anyone does not mean they don't happen to people. What you said is just more evidence that our culture/"folk" worldview conflates physical attractiveness and general relationship-worthiness; you're taking this conflation at face value, just in a slightly different context, and saying that it's thus impossible to work on being more valued in the context of a relationship. (After all, how many people really want to date someone they don't find physically attractive? That's why she's bawling her eyes out - you've just said to her face that you wouldn't have wanted to date her in the first place!) Which doesn't make all that much sense now, does it?

(I'm not saying that your attitude is not common. It is both very common and quite dysfunctional. Including, of course, for the women who are drawn into putting so much reliance on their physical attractiveness, and so little on everything else that could make them more appealing and desirable. This is, by the way, a common complaint from feminist(!)-leaning folks - it's neither some sort of secret nor something that has ever marked anyone as "out of touch".)

> ... and no one should rely on that as a mechanism ...

It's not like you've proposed any alternative in this thread. You've even said that some non-trivial fraction of guys are basically seen as undateable, so even a fairly low chance of success would still be better than that.

Re: Why are young people having so little sex? (2018)

#286

Post by ben_w »

Bancakes wrote: post #279
ben_w wrote: post #269

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Trophy relationships are avoidable. Heck, I know Ace people who started families.

Trophy relationship menas you actively went out to look for a proper partner and earned it. It's normal animal behavior to hunt for the best mate.

Ah, I see you are using a new and exciting definition of the word that I was previously unaware of.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Trophy_wife

Re: Why are young people having so little sex? (2018)

#287

Post by bigthymer »

bradlys wrote: post #253
cataphract wrote: post #132

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Wait, how is that even mathematically possible? Most people are heterosexual and there is roughly the same number of men and women. Are you saying that there is a small cohort of men that have sex with most of the women? I find it hard to believe — most people, men and women, are monogamous.

> Wait, how is that even mathematically possible? Most people are heterosexual and there is roughly the same number of men and women. Men:women are born at 107:100. There are about 7% more men than women in the world at birth. This only evens out by age 40 . This is due to suicide rates among men being wildly higher. Most men and women are monogamous - but many people date. A few men sleep with many women. Many men n…

> This only evens out by age 40

I've read 18 but I forget the source.

Re: Why are young people having so little sex? (2018)

#288

Post by DanBC »

bradlys wrote: post #261
zozbot234 wrote: post #258

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Dating apps are an artificial environment that's inherently unfavorable to the majority of men with less readily-apparent advantages. Meet women as friends in more social environments and this is not going to be an issue.

> Meet women as friends in more social environments and this is not going to be an issue. Unfortunately - this behavior has cascaded over into the general environment. Most women I talk to now are very explicit about their beauty standards they have for the men they’re interested in dating - and they’re always quite a bit more harsh than the men I’ve talked to. But I’ve also lived on the west coast where the gender r…

> Most men aren’t (thus the incredibly high suicide rates).

There are lots of factors that contribute to the gender gap in suicide in some countries, but this isn't one of them.

Re: Why are young people having so little sex? (2018)

#289

Post by bradlys »

bigthymer wrote: post #287
bradlys wrote: post #253

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> Wait, how is that even mathematically possible? Most people are heterosexual and there is roughly the same number of men and women. Men:women are born at 107:100. There are about 7% more men than women in the world at birth. This only evens out by age 40 . This is due to suicide rates among men being wildly higher. Most men and women are monogamous - but many people date. A few men sleep with many women. Many men n…

> This only evens out by age 40 I've read 18 but I forget the source.

You could just Google it and you’d find out. Because you’re definitely wrong.

Re: Why are young people having so little sex? (2018)

#290

Post by dragonwriter »

bradlys wrote: post #253
cataphract wrote: post #132

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Wait, how is that even mathematically possible? Most people are heterosexual and there is roughly the same number of men and women. Are you saying that there is a small cohort of men that have sex with most of the women? I find it hard to believe — most people, men and women, are monogamous.

> Wait, how is that even mathematically possible? Most people are heterosexual and there is roughly the same number of men and women. Men:women are born at 107:100. There are about 7% more men than women in the world at birth. This only evens out by age 40 . This is due to suicide rates among men being wildly higher. Most men and women are monogamous - but many people date. A few men sleep with many women. Many men n…

> Men:women are born at 107:100

107:100 is either the high end of the range or outside of the range, depending on which estimate you look at. 105:100 seems to be closer to mid-range. [0]

> This only evens out by age 40.

Globally, it's actually closer to 50. [1] In particular countries this varies a lot from the global average, and, yes, the US is around 40. [2]

> This is due to suicide rates among men being wildly higher.

No, it's not. Boys have significantly higher infant mortality and males have higher rates of violent (even excluding suicide) and accidental death at all age ranges. Suicide isn't the main differentiating factor.

[0] https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Human_sex_ratio

[1] https://statisticstimes.com/demographics/world-sex-ratio.php

[2] https://www.statista.com/statistics/241488/population-of-the...

Post reply on HN