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Tell HN: You are not alone this Christmas

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Re: Tell HN: You are not alone this Christmas

#281

Post by ColinWright »

abzug wrote: post #208
TedDoesntTalk wrote: post #200

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I went from a completely sedentary desk life to running a half-marathon in 7 months (includes a 1 month groin injury). On a treadmill, training myself. You can do it, too, and the effect on mood is spectacular. In fact the effect on mood comes way before a half-marathon. So don’t get overwhelmed and think you have to do that much.

Thanks, I have plans to exercise coming 2022.

If something is a good idea, don't put it off. I don't understand people who make New Year resolutions and wait until the New Year to do them.

If it's a good idea ... start now!

Re: Tell HN: You are not alone this Christmas

#282

Post by bradlys »

Well, we’re alone. Let’s not trivialize it. But we should also try to normalize loneliness more and accept people who are in such situations. Potentially accepting that they don’t want to be in that situation and building a culture around bringing people together who don’t have a family, large group of close friends, etc.

I’m in the same boat. I have friends but they’re spread out through the country. On top of that - most of them spend time with their families during these holidays. I’m the weird one who is estranged from his entire family, has few friends nearby, and is now single. It used to be I spent this time of the year traveling the world and spending my Christmas with my ex. But I’ll be spending the next few christmases alone while I try to find another partner.

Re: Tell HN: You are not alone this Christmas

#283

Post by RuggedPineapple »

I got engaged to my girlfriend this year. Our christmas is going to be just us and my best friend whose decided she just can't with her antivax family during a covid-era family gathering. Not what I was expecting from the holidays, but also a reminder that family that you build yourself is just as valid!

Re: Tell HN: You are not alone this Christmas

#285

Post by maverick74 »

thoms_a wrote: post #246
maverick74 wrote: post #228

Earlier quoted context omitted.

What made you stop believing? Any special event that you would like to share? I believe that it all comes down to "Love". That's the key. All other "rules" are mostly human-made. Your relationship with God is just that: a relationship between you and God. And that's YOUR business and God's! I too was raised a Catholic, but there are many places where priests are not as good as they should be. I think I'm lucky on tha…

The "bunch of rules" are guidelines laid out by the supposed creator of reality, who loves you and wishes for you to live in congruence with your true nature. You can ignore the guidelines, but that will come at a cost (mostly to yourself). That is how I understand Catholic virtues. The desire to rebel against this is the same instinct every child has when their parent tells them to brush their teeth and not binge-ea…

Well, according to the Bible and the Church all rules come down to something like "Love God above all and love others as you Love yourself"...

I think it's all about Love... Every "rule" comes from this...

Re: Tell HN: You are not alone this Christmas

#286

Post by weaksauce »

ColinWright wrote: post #281
abzug wrote: post #208

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Thanks, I have plans to exercise coming 2022.

If something is a good idea, don't put it off. I don't understand people who make New Year resolutions and wait until the New Year to do them. If it's a good idea ... start now!

I want to add to this... i set a goal a while back of doing the equivalent point in duolingo every day of like 2 or 3 lessons. that didn't work in the long term and the streak went away and i lost the motivation to keep "stubbing my toe" so to speak every few days. I changed it to 1 lesson a day and the streak is almost 700 days in a row now and there is usually some motivation to do an extra few lessons or not once you get going. but just doing it and making the goals small will build those habits. I would say start really, really small in the goals and it will pay off. do 5 pushups or even if it's just one pushup it will add up and make it more manageable and more likely that you will stick with it.

Re: Tell HN: You are not alone this Christmas

#287

Post by akavel »

addnab wrote: post #237
abzug wrote: post #208

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Thanks, I have plans to exercise coming 2022.

Don't wait till 2022 or even tomorrow. You need to train your mind to see good habits like exercising as something fundamental as breathing instead of a chore. Start today. It can be little as single push up or a 10 sec plank. Start tiny and work your way up. Churning out a quick 25 pushups will soon be easy and effortless in a couple of months time if you can only do 1 today. I'm not a fan of self help books in gene…

I heartily recommend the r/bodyweightfitness's Recommended Routine (https://old.reddit.com/r/bodyweightfitness/wiki/kb/recommend...). I found it extremely reasonable, convincing, and beginner-friendly. It has detailed progressions on what to start from if you can't do a pushup or other (all the way up to if you can do it on one hand or whatever), and is absolutely not condescending, instead gives amazingly practical advice. It doesn't ask you to do more than 8 repetitions of any major exercise ever in a series, regardless how advanced you are, and there's whole ton of explanations why it's enough and why physiologically the freaking breaks between exercises are important and must not be shortened. I found it amazingly anti-bullshit yet super approachable.

Re: Tell HN: You are not alone this Christmas

#288

Post by tekkk »

The worse side about these things is that you can't vent out your sadness or general feelings to anyone. Which is I think what people really need. Not a huge host of siblings and friends but just emotional closure to have your feelings validated and accepted. It's okay to feel sad, it's okay to not to feel sad.

It's hard to do so without being really close with someone but I wish all could have speck of shared empathy from this thread. We are not just boxes of text but real people around the world who all have their share of good and bad. Pushing away feelings does work and you get lot of things done doing so. But I don't recommend doing so in the long run - the re-prioritization can be quite shock once you notice all the stuff don't bring you that much joy.

Re: Tell HN: You are not alone this Christmas

#290

Post by greggman3 »

headmelted wrote: post #188
abzug wrote: post #20

Thank you for this gesture. I lost almost everything. Job, 7-year relationship, my mental health. Feeling that I'm not only alone but inadequate to have a life like anybody else. I'm still alive, so there's that.

I realise you didn’t post this looking for advice (and I apologise if this is unwelcome), but if I can relate one small thing from my own personal mental health nadir: Walk. Outdoors. In the greenest place you can find. No, it won’t change anything that you’ve been through, but it really will help you to quiet everything for a small chunk of time to let your mind get a rest from it. Please don’t ever think you’re ina…

> Walk. Outdoors. In the greenest place you can find.

Then my allergies will flair up and I'll have a miserable 1-2 days of recovery and be hating life. No thanks

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