Why Russians do not smile (2002) • Hacker News Board

Re: Why Russians do not smile (2002)

#281

Post by jwilber » Sat, May 29, 2021, 7:33 AM UTC

geocrasher wrote: post #257

sunshineforever wrote: post #238

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I have a difficult life and I'm growing very tired of this question. I've even had to ask some of my neighbors not to greet me that way.

Indeed. People do not realize how destructive it is. The other one that really irks me is "let me know if you need anything!" 1) You are putting it on me to tell you that I need something, right in the middle of my need. 2) If you're my real friend you don't need to say that, I already know I can call you 24/7/365 3) Your willingness to help is nulled by your lack of initiative. The best thing anyone ever did was cal…

I hope this doesn’t come off belittling but my only reaction to reading this is that some people can find a reason to get upset over anything.

Re: Why Russians do not smile (2002)

#282

Post by helmholtz » Sat, May 29, 2021, 7:35 AM UTC

Taniwha wrote: post #268

andreskytt wrote: post #256

Estonian here. At Skype (10+ years ago) I observed, that members of large cultures (American, British, Hindu etc.) had real trouble adjusting to the predominantly Estonian-based engineering culture. Probably because they had never had to adjust, commonly people adjust to _their_ culture as it tends to dominate large organizations. But once they did make an honest attempt, that was always most welcomed and gained them…

I remember taking a doing-biz-international course - one thing that was stressed was that personal space is different for different cultures, you can back someone into a wall if your normal speaking distance is larger than someone else's. FYI for Americans a good rule of thumb is that Americans are comfortable at roughly an arm's length - reach out and touch someone's shoulder with your knuckles - after taking that c…

I find a lot of comfort in knowing that these kinds of things are becoming more "official". Training seminars being organised, issues being discussed online, people growing up and spending more time being aware of these things before it's too late. It seems to me to be a sure sign of social progress.

Re: Why Russians do not smile (2002)

#283

Post by reedf1 » Sat, May 29, 2021, 7:35 AM UTC

solipsism wrote: post #262

andreskytt wrote: post #256

Estonian here. At Skype (10+ years ago) I observed, that members of large cultures (American, British, Hindu etc.) had real trouble adjusting to the predominantly Estonian-based engineering culture. Probably because they had never had to adjust, commonly people adjust to _their_ culture as it tends to dominate large organizations. But once they did make an honest attempt, that was always most welcomed and gained them…

A Hindu pm had the habit of sitting next to developers while they worked, sometimes putting a hand on their knee Eh... That doesn't sound like just an Indian being Indian. a Japanese guy came to the hr person complaining the original lady from us had hugged them. Again, it was explained that this is just what Americans do Nope... We don't hug people who don't want to be hugged. The Japanese guy was right to complain,…

We're gonna have a real tough time with aliens if you believe this!

Re: Why Russians do not smile (2002)

#284

Post by to1y » Sat, May 29, 2021, 7:35 AM UTC

Wxc2jjJmST9XWWL wrote: post #223

Quite a lot of US culture can come off as phony to (Eastern) Europeans. Friend of mine went to the US for a business schooling event and said people were completely incapable of honest criticism. They would sugar coat criticism under 10 layers of phony praise. He was the only one who actually said something was bad outright, if someone gave a bad presentation. He attributed it to cultural difference. Guess it is rela…

Americans are pessimists masquerading as optimists, Russians are optimists masquerading as pessimists.

Re: Why Russians do not smile (2002)

#285

Post by koirapoika » Sat, May 29, 2021, 7:37 AM UTC

hatchoo wrote: post #162

I've worked with several Russians and I noticed that they type the smile emoticon without the colon... So instead of :) it's just ). For laughing it's ))))))) What's up with that? )

Interesting observation: many people in the russian segment of the Internet use `)` instead of a period at the end of a sentence.

If you write a conventional sentence with a period, sometimes people might think you're not alright or even annoyed. Appending `:)` afterwards might be considered a sad smile. We have expressive parentheses and emojis here, but you put that sad smile, what's happened? It's all fine, I just follow the punctuations.

I find it curious that even using emotions in the Internet can be different within a single culture, not to mention others.

Re: Why Russians do not smile (2002)

#286

Post by sampo » Sat, May 29, 2021, 7:38 AM UTC

Taniwha wrote: post #268

andreskytt wrote: post #256

Estonian here. At Skype (10+ years ago) I observed, that members of large cultures (American, British, Hindu etc.) had real trouble adjusting to the predominantly Estonian-based engineering culture. Probably because they had never had to adjust, commonly people adjust to _their_ culture as it tends to dominate large organizations. But once they did make an honest attempt, that was always most welcomed and gained them…

I remember taking a doing-biz-international course - one thing that was stressed was that personal space is different for different cultures, you can back someone into a wall if your normal speaking distance is larger than someone else's. FYI for Americans a good rule of thumb is that Americans are comfortable at roughly an arm's length - reach out and touch someone's shoulder with your knuckles - after taking that c…

> reach out and touch someone's shoulder with your knuckles - after taking that course this became a company greeting ....

This greeting might not be perceived too well in Germany.

Re: Why Russians do not smile (2002)

#287

Post by dTal » Sat, May 29, 2021, 7:38 AM UTC

IgorPartola wrote: post #226

I am Ukrainian. Came to the US when I was 14. I may never be cool like all the hard looking dudes in movies and whatnot but I smile all the time because either I find something funny in what I’m engaged in or if I don’t that I try to think of it as such. I have always been this way and I can’t imagine not doing it. Also, I have read a few comments in this discussion about how fake American smiles and “how are you?”s…

Dude, you should teach seminars. A lot of people struggle with the tension between being genuine, and keeping small talk "small". It sounds like you've nailed it.

Re: Why Russians do not smile (2002)

#288

Post by erikbye » Sat, May 29, 2021, 7:40 AM UTC

So Russians are exactly like Norwegians in this regard, must be why we get along so well. That and our dark if not often black taste in humour.

I know many Norwegians considers a laughing, smiling idiot just that, an idiot. Unintelligent. Either that or the person smiling and laughing all the time for no apparent reason must be very insecure, or just weird.

Re: Why Russians do not smile (2002)

#289

Post by dzhiurgis » Sat, May 29, 2021, 7:49 AM UTC

Lith here. One of the most embarrassing things that I've done in my life was first day of induction in my UK university. The lecture was about cultural differences. We were assigned into groups and asked to list couple of stereotypes that we know. I didn't realised we were supposed to say something like "Americans are hard working and Brits are punctual". Instead I've bombasted to 200-something students that Asian people smell.

Re: Why Russians do not smile (2002)

#290

Post by sampo » Sat, May 29, 2021, 7:50 AM UTC

danbmil99 wrote: post #177

There's actually a regional difference. Growing up on the east coast in New York people rarely smiled at each other on the street. Someone you didn't know smiling at you could mean a crazy person, or some sort of con artist trying to suck you into interacting with them. Living on the west coast for the last twenty years, the situation is totally different. On a bike trail, on the sidewalk, people often smile and nod…

> Living on the west coast for the last twenty years, the situation is totally different. On a bike trail, on the sidewalk, people often smile and nod at each other.

No need to go to West Coast for that. In the more affluent areas in Central NJ, people greet you on jogging trails, and sometimes even when passing you on ShopRite and Walmart ailes (these are grocery store chains).