Earlier quoted context omitted.
And yet most philosophers aren't Stoics. Physics will tell you how fast an object will fall. You can ask a dozen physicists and they will all give you the same answer. Philosophy only tells you how to live if you ask exactly one philosopher. Ask a second, and you will be no better off than when you started.
"And yet most philosophers aren't Stoics" You're moving the goal posts. First you said: "philosophy is utterly incapable of telling us what to make or do" I gave you an example how philosophy is in fact capable of doing that, and it does so for many people (philosophers and non-philosophers alike). Instead of granting the point, you move the goal posts. Suddenly, philosophy being capable of telling us what to make or…
I will make this one concession on reflection. It may help immunize one from simplistic explanations and just-so stories. It will not give one truth, but perhaps it will reveal the lie. The study of philosophy is a great way, for example, to disabuse someone of religious faith.