> I was still stubborn and would not agree to believing in the almighty bearded creator in the sky, so one of the two shelters would not help me. I know it’s really common but it still shocks me when charities make receiving support contingent on believing whatever they happen to believe.
I was incredibly humble and polite when I walked into that shelter. My past activism with the Catholic Workers which were a couple blocks away flagged me as a dirty communist liberal, in their eyes. I volunteered there in several different ways. When I asked that the other shelter let me become a member, I was brought into a room with three larger males and pretty much trash talked and intimidated. The guy that ran the place said something like "You think you're better than us?". I was almost crying at this point. I was hungry and tired. My knees ached. They thought I was a drug addict. I had just walked a couple miles from the library. He told me that if I didn't believe that I would die on the streets with no help. I politely declined to be subject to that sort of treatment and I walked out of that door nearly sobbing knowing that I may have to be cold again that night. But I will risk pain any day over giving power to people like that. Being content is the problem. I was thinking bigger picture. It may have helped me to conform in that situation, but it would be doing the next person in my place a disservice. I'm happy I was strong that day but many other times I was weak.