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Nearly Half of Americans Are Lonely

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Re: Nearly Half of Americans Are Lonely

#281

Post by [deleted] »

mattmanser wrote: post #217
abledon wrote: post #127

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Thing about meetup.com which messes up touches on your point. Even though you may feel down... you get those small 'silces' of energy... even if they are brief.... You need to hit that 30 minute window of feeling pumped to go out and socialize. Feeling pumped? Yeah ! lets do this! goes on meetup.com .... F * the next cool thing is Sept 2. 89 hours away..... 30 minute window of feeling pumped to go socialize fades awa…

You're overthinking this. Pick one, put it in your diary, and go to it. No excuses. In those 30 minutes of action, commit yourself to that future action. Make it easy, in those 30 minutes plan your outfit, how to get there, look up the venue on a map, plan how much cash you'll take or what cards or whatever. Whatever excuses you come up with usually, plan against them. The group will usually say how to find them in t…

[deleted]

Re: Nearly Half of Americans Are Lonely

#282

Post by mjevans »

1auralynn wrote: post #153
bertjk wrote: post #80

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I kind of agree with you, but what does positive "coordinated social change" look like? I can only think of negative ones, like those that occurred with radical political changes, or else explicit/thinly-veiled marketing campaigns for consumer goods..

Redesigning neighborhoods to be walkable not driveable. Rezoning so that more businesses can open near residential areas, so people can walk or bike to work, walk to get groceries, etc. More people around leads to more serendipitous interactions, maybe improved safety. I guess that's not really coordinated social change, but I think tweaks to the context in which we live can have huge, positive social impacts.

Stop focusing on the negative.

"Redesigning neighborhoods to be walkable." Full stop.

In my opinion this includes /planning/ for Parking to have it's own space, preferably /under/ everything. (You don't have to dig down, it's an option build up to begin with!)

Also, relegate /any/ smoking to only designated shelters with negative draw and scrubbed exhausts. It should be a 1 day's pay fine + 4 days of community service for a violation.

Re: Nearly Half of Americans Are Lonely

#283

Post by eswat »

pweissbrod wrote: post #60
Simulacra wrote: post #4

I'm curious if this is a direct result of the internet and smartphones. The two make us feel more connected, more global, but I think it makes us more isolated. I miss talking to my friends on the phone, and hanging out in the 90s. Everything, especially how humans interact, is so digital today.

Totally agree with this. When was the last time you were in line at a coffee shop? Everybody staring into their phones. Compare that with sometime from like the early 90s where conversations would start up between folks inline. All these people staring at their phones it looks like the eighties equivalent of a Twilight Zone episode

We’re also now augmenting the problem with bluetooth earbuds becoming more ubiquitous, even if they’re not actively being used.

At least for me I find it a bit more difficult to approach someone if I think they’re listening to something or on a call.

Re: Nearly Half of Americans Are Lonely

#285

Post by mjevans »

Nav_Panel wrote: post #44

Incredible how the subtext here is "loneliness requires healthcare" rather than, say, "loneliness requires coordinated social change". Almost as if the goal is "how can we frame loneliness as an illness and reap some sweet insurance money."

coordinate social change - Maybe worker rights and regulation of basic needs items by supply side economics?

Imagine if workers had actual careers, that didn't bounce them from city to city (unless they wanted to relocate).

How about if housing had minimum codes that encouraged actual privacy. (Such as being able to take a shower or do the dishes at 2AM without anyone around you hearing anything; also to doing them at 10PM without waking morning people and at 8AM without waking night people.)

Also if 'rent control' / housing cost control meant that if the market were over a given price more housing would be built in that market to drive the price down properly.

Housing also should not be an investment, that encourages poor behavior in all sorts of ways.

Re: Nearly Half of Americans Are Lonely

#286

Post by mjevans »

lpcam33 wrote: post #229
grasshopperpurp wrote: post #28

Many reasons for this, and many good ones have already been noted, but I haven't seen anyone mention time yet. Americans work a lot. If you don't make friends at work, or you don't maintain friendships from high school or college, you're working on limited time and energy - as are the people you hope to befriend (though you don't know who they are yet). If you have a family, it's even harder. I don't have kids, and w…

One think that can lead to loneliness is material abundance namely the abundance of houses. Here in Portugal we have 40% more houses than families. For instance the building that I live has 8 apartments and it was build 60 years ago. I have some neighbors that live here since the beginning. They told me there was a time it had 50 residents. Now there are only ten residents. We are so surrounded by abundance that we a…

I think the solution for your country may be the inverse of the one I recommended for America in a different post in this thread.

The construction workers should become destruction workers driven by supply side regulations aimed at keeping the price of housing 'stable' by encouraging the retirement of the lesser quality housing and the conversion of those areas to more socially productive uses. (Maybe parks, nature, or buildings more suitable to society's needs.)

Re: Nearly Half of Americans Are Lonely

#287

Post by mjevans »

stareatgoats wrote: post #205
androidgirl wrote: post #166

I'm 21 years old, I grew up online. I started on myspace and chat via gmail, eventually moving to Facebook. Fast forward through an early highschool graduation, and taking most college classes online: I have no idea how on Earth I am to socialize with people in the real world. I quit and deactivated Facebook in January, and since I have felt so truly alone. Each day I ride an uber to my dev job, work mostly by myself…

> I quit and deactivated Facebook in January, and since I have felt so truly alone. I've long suspected that Facebook serves a beneficial function for lonely singles, a way to socialize without having a partner or IRL friends. As a short term fix against loneliness I think that's great. That said, constant Facebooking can also get in the way of getting to know and keeping friends IRL. Sounds to me you are poised to e…

My own opinion, and one reason I avoid all such sites and accounts so stringently, is that such "platforms" (walled gardens) are a man in the middle attack on social interaction. This affects society's health and wellbeing overall, including making it more difficult to engage in healthy relationships/interactions with others addicted to any given platform.

Re: Nearly Half of Americans Are Lonely

#289

Post by furi »

PopsiclePete wrote: post #271
ironjunkie wrote: post #240

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I think you hit the nail on the head. I would also add that the whole minefield of communicating with someone of the opposite sex, especially if you are a man. It seems that you have a high risk of being called up for harassment if you want to start a friendly conversation with a female as a male for example. This is a direct consequence of the whole metoo thing. Over the last 15 years, society has been more and more…

[flagged]

I've said this on here before more or less, but here's the problem for me: If my girlfriend is approached by a man without due cause (such as asking for directions, trying to commission her to work on something, etc.), our immediate reaction is to assume he has sexual intent. The only difference being creepy makes is whether or not it's an assumption or a certainty. I don't like being perceived as though I have sexual intent and I don't get the impression anybody else does either or romantic cat and mouse games wouldn't be as popular as they are. This isn't some hypothetical worst case false accusation thing, it's something real that I know happens because we both do it. And I know why we do it, we do it because 9/10 times if a guy approaches her without due cause he's got sexual intent. When you approach a woman without due cause you join a tiny segment of the population that is 90% horny men, expecting to not get labelled as a horny man is wishful thinking.

Re: Nearly Half of Americans Are Lonely

#290

Post by steve_musk »

rainbowmverse wrote: post #277
bilbo0s wrote: post #274

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I feel almost ashamed for asking this, but are things really that bad for you guys? You sound like you guys are half joking, but then, not really. So I can't tell. If it is that bad, I guess people can be bigger arse-holes than I thought.

I was out for a walk recently and overheard a group of kids talking, and the f word was present. Not only are things bad, the next generation seems to be the same. And that's with me being white and having the ability to pass as an ordinary dude most of the time. Trans women (especially of color) die every day , and that's just the ones who get reported on. Just as many get treated as "brawls gone wrong" or "tragic s…

I’m curious as to why you think kids using the f word means things are bad? Not trying to imply anything I’m genuinely curious.
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