Earlier quoted context omitted.
> Get out of it while you still can. I'm not a psychologist, I'm a programmer. You can see it in my profile. I'm not making any prescriptions that require an MD. You're not paying me and I'm not claiming to dispense professional advice. I'm just sharing part of what worked for me. You're not required to read this or try meditation but it would only take you 30 minutes to try to sit in a quiet space and think about no…
Reiteration: Meditation can be catastrophic for people with depression. There is a reason any meditation retreat will reject you if you answer 'yes' to currently going through depression. Empty your mind, empty your feelings? Ummm.... Well, a depressed person has most of their feelings wiped to begin with, except for a heavy, sick, sinking, feeling. A depressed person cannot think. You catch yourself just standing an…
I'm not dispensing professional medical advice, I'm relating an experience I had. You're free to make up your own mind. I thought I already made that clear.
Anyway, I'm not talking about a meditation retreat. I've never done that and hear it is rather intense. I wouldn't recommend it to someone diagnosed with depression in any form. What I'm talking about can be done in the comfort of your own home. If you've tried that yourself and it hasn't worked then you need only say so and I'd see no reason for me to comment further. From your last comment, it sounds like you have tried that and it didn't help. For me, it did. It wasn't the full solution for me but it was a piece.
I'll just add that you don't need to sit cross legged to meditate. You can sit comfortably upright in a chair or lying down on a bed. This is all discussed in the book I recommended. It sounds like your experience with meditation was more strict than what I've experienced. There is more than one form of meditation. Discarding the whole practice as unworkable for anyone who has depression after only knowing directly about your own reaction to one form of meditation is as unscientific as anything I can imagine.
Best of luck to you. I hope you keep finding things that work for you.