271–280 of 323 posts
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You exist solely to procreate. I could not imagine an emptier life, than one without children.
I reject your premise, but your conclusion is not surprising considering it. I couldn't imagine an emptier life than one where the only thing that matters is procreation. We're not Pacific Salmon.
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Isn't it convenient that nature has already placed us in our respective roles and given us the necessary strengths to handle our different but equally important roles? It's such a tragedy that one might feel compelled to weigh the burdens of motherhood vs fatherhood as if either side had a choice in the matter or as if there is some kind of competition to be won.
The only roles that nature put you into are carrying the baby and giving birth (and possibly breastfeeding). Everything else can be done by both parents. (I'm a dad, who does do half of everything with the kids. It is possible, it's just a lot of stuff to do.)
Before having kids, I expected it to be this huge life changing thing. That it would effectively end the part of my life where I was free to do whatever I wanted, and start the part where I was just Daddy, doing nothing except serving my childrens' needs. But that didn't happen. We just carried on being Jason and his partner, but with a baby in tow. I had spent most of my 30s cramming in as much "living" as possible,…
One of the most challenging aspects of being a parent (at least for me) is dealing with the kids not interested in cooperating or listening/learning. Their mother and I spent a great deal on music lessons and it was a challenge to get them to practice, and I was unable to coerce them to practice so they could reap the rewards of being able to create music themselves. And just in general, giving guidance and seeing th…
> And just in general, giving guidance and seeing that look on their faces that means they're just waiting for you to stop talking so they can go on with their lives.
Instead of seeing this as a challenge perhaps reflect on it and take it as an opportunity to learn more about your kids. Not everybody is the same, and not everyone will have the same aspirations.
I know of many who got the full ride in terms of music lessons but do not have any intrinsic passion for it. Overall it was a total waste of time in terms of their life satisfaction and fulfillment. Me on the other hand, I was very into music but didn't have the option of getting any lessons.
FWIW I was one of those kids who was very compliant and cooperative but in retrospect I can see that it harmed my development / self-concept. It's only now as an adult that I'm able to grapple with this.
Kids aren’t for everyone. Please don’t guilt-trip people for not having them. (I know this article isn’t doing that.) https://wearechildfree.com/ Disclosure: Zoë is my cousin.
Of course people are free not to have kids... But I've always find it weird to "celebrates childfree lives". And I'm frankly annoyed by the growing activism to ban kids from public places in the name of "adults quietness".
Ofc no escape on trains/buses, but he loves those, so that's fine.
> On the other hand, what kind of wimpy ambition do you have if it won't survive having kids? Do you have so little to spare? I don't know, it seems like parenthood asks for a lot to be given up. Younger people like myself are already struggling to live on their own where I am. There's not a lot that can be spared by most of us. To me, having a child means heavily straining your financial safety - here, care for this…
You exist solely to procreate. I could not imagine an emptier life, than one without children.
> On the other hand, what kind of wimpy ambition do you have if it won't survive having kids? Do you have so little to spare? I don't know, it seems like parenthood asks for a lot to be given up. Younger people like myself are already struggling to live on their own where I am. There's not a lot that can be spared by most of us. To me, having a child means heavily straining your financial safety - here, care for this…
You exist solely to procreate. I could not imagine an emptier life, than one without children.
Earlier quoted context omitted.
All kids are different, my second has about 20 tantrums a day. I've no idea why. It's getting really hard to deal with. But it will pass. Honestly the only certainty is that unless you have been 100 percent responsible for a very young child for more a few days, you have no idea what you are talking about. I don't mean that directed at you. Just my own generalisation based own experience and the opinion of every othe…
Definitely hard to say. I get being angry and frustrated, and circumstances surrounding being a parent might not help at all. For instance my wife and I have no family to help out. It's just us. It's hard, but we do what we can. I'm beyond fortunate that she's fully into being a mother, calm, patient but knows where the boundaries are. And that's reflected into our kid. He's so incredibly easy to parent, it's insane.…