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Facts about throwing good parties

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Re: Facts about throwing good parties

#271

Post by teiferer »

thenoblesunfish wrote: post #256
Einenlum wrote: post #247

Maybe it's because I'm French and the author is American (I guess?), but this post made me anxious. Putting so many rules and so much science on something that should be fun and spontaneous feels so wrong to me. Maybe a cultural thing. But I would never go to a party hosted by someone who thinks in statistical terms and uses a dedicated app to invite guests. I admit there are a few interesting tips though. Especially…

Americans tend to have larger, more casual social circles, probably. Having hosted parties in both the U.S. and Europe, the "flake rate" in Europe is much smaller, but the parties are also smaller, less frequent, and planned further ahead of time.

"Europe"? I can assure you, the party cultures in Spain, Scandinavia, France and Greece are all pairwise so dramatically different that the U.S. are not the counterpole, but just another flavor in the sea of possibilities. The same applies to different cultures within these countries. Across areas, ages, socioeconomic backgrounds, political leanings, hobby groups.

It's astonishing to me how many comments around here are lumping everything together under specific nationalities.

Re: Facts about throwing good parties

#272

Post by Cthulhu_ »

Kiro wrote: post #153
kashnote wrote: post #34

Love all of these tips. I've hosted dozens of events since moving to NYC and figured I'd add 5 more: 1. If this is a dinner party (or people are all seated), force people to get up and move in a way that they'll meet new people. Do this when you're about 2/3 of the way through the party. Some will complain - do it anyway. 2. Plan 1 (ideally 2) interludes. It can be a small speech, moving people around, changing locat…

I don't understand the idea of the host forcing interactions like this. I think the best party is when the host is just another attendee.

Sure, in an ideal situation people would naturally mingle, but a lot of people are shy or will just stick to people they know, which makes it less valuable as a social event.

Re: Facts about throwing good parties

#273

Post by Cthulhu_ »

Mashimo wrote: post #248
sbuccini wrote: post #8

22) Turn the AC wayyyyyyy down when the party starts 23) Buy frozen finger food and put into oven in staggered batches. When a batch is ready, immediately transfer to serving tray and walk through party offering people food. Great task to delegate to that one attendee who doesn't know anyone! 24) Polaroids/Disposable cameras are cheap and seem to be universally adored. Get a few and scatter them throughout the party.…

> Polaroids/Disposable cameras are cheap and seem to be universally adored. I do this on my parties! Also sometimes people ask me to bring my gear to their parties. The guests can either keep the photo and take home some memories or gift it to the host. My more advanced version is that I take photos with my "good" mirrorless camera, transfer the photos to my phone, and then send them to the polaroid (Instax mini) for…

The polaroids is a good idea; some more expensive / corporate parties I've been at had photo booths with random silly accessories as well. I mean it's not for me because I have no whimsy but other people appreciate it.

Re: Facts about throwing good parties

#274

Post by zwnow »

Einenlum wrote: post #247

Maybe it's because I'm French and the author is American (I guess?), but this post made me anxious. Putting so many rules and so much science on something that should be fun and spontaneous feels so wrong to me. Maybe a cultural thing. But I would never go to a party hosted by someone who thinks in statistical terms and uses a dedicated app to invite guests. I admit there are a few interesting tips though. Especially…

For real, just invite peers and go from there. If its not a 30 people+ party you can spontaneously order pizza pretty easily... Too much planning ruins parties for me.

Re: Facts about throwing good parties

#275

Post by teiferer »

dominostars wrote: post #267
teiferer wrote: post #213

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> always prepare a punch. People don't realize it but there's alcohol in this thing Why is it that alcohol seems to be a necessary ingredient to people having a good time? Or at least everybody assumes this to be the case? Why is nobody able to be themselves and relax and have fun without being intoxicated, mildly or more? Serious question, I don't get it.

People are able to be themselves and relax when they feel safe. Safe from judgement, rejection, reprisal, etc. When you're with a group of people you don't know, you don't know how safe they are. Getting drunk helps people feel uninhibited from all of that. There are a million other ways to feel safer with new people, but drinking happens to be extremely easy and quick.

> People are able to be themselves and relax when they feel safe. Safe from judgement, rejection, reprisal, etc. When you're with a group of people you don't know, you don't know how safe they are.

And how is any of that related to alcohol? My friend can open up to me when we are in a safe environment without the need for first ingesting a drug. It's not the alcohol that causes the safety.

Maybe it's a ritual, that could explain things partially. But maybe a ritual worth abandoning. Just like we did with smoking, and everybody gained (well except the tobacco industry).

I'm sure the boozemakers won't let go without a fight though. But so far they have plenty of help.

Re: Facts about throwing good parties

#276

Post by Cthulhu_ »

Dilettante_ wrote: post #232
mtoner23 wrote: post #159

Earlier quoted context omitted.

The good thing about partiful (the most popular and imo best party app) is that you can set the invite up such that they cant see the guest list unless they RSVP yes

That just sounds like it creates a perverse incentive for people to say yes despite having no intention of coming?

In which case they wouldn't be invited again, right?

Re: Facts about throwing good parties

#277

Post by teiferer »

Mashimo wrote: post #259
teiferer wrote: post #213

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> always prepare a punch. People don't realize it but there's alcohol in this thing Why is it that alcohol seems to be a necessary ingredient to people having a good time? Or at least everybody assumes this to be the case? Why is nobody able to be themselves and relax and have fun without being intoxicated, mildly or more? Serious question, I don't get it.

Well it's a fact that you do get more open and relaxed with alcohol. The barriers go down. And over the lifetime people almost all the time had alcohol when they where at parties. You start to associate alcohol with fun and parties. Of course this is generalized and depends on cultures and groups. That's what I like about them young Gen Z, they drink less alcohol. Sadly they also socialise less. I once heard a story…

> You start to associate alcohol with fun and parties.

That's probably it. It's a ritual. A costly one though, in terms of money as well as health. Direct cost (liver, brain cells, ...), as well as indirect (accidents, fights, ...).

> That's what I like about them young Gen Z, they drink less alcohol.

I wouldn't celebrate to soon. Every movement eventually spawns a countermovement. Next gen might be the most booze consuming ever.

Re: Facts about throwing good parties

#278

Post by teiferer »

darkwater wrote: post #251
teiferer wrote: post #213

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> always prepare a punch. People don't realize it but there's alcohol in this thing Why is it that alcohol seems to be a necessary ingredient to people having a good time? Or at least everybody assumes this to be the case? Why is nobody able to be themselves and relax and have fun without being intoxicated, mildly or more? Serious question, I don't get it.

Because people have psychological barriers (naturally or "imposed" via education) that alcohol or other psychotropic substances help tearing down. Not having those barriers is a great help in having a great party. But obviously not everyone is the same in that regard and also the very definition of "party" and "great party" can change.

Indeed. In my experience, once the alcohol level has crossed a certain threshold, you need to be taking part to think it's great. If you are a non-drinker, for whatever reason (pregnant, medication, morals, ...) what you get to observe beyond that threshold is a huge turnoff and the opposite of a great event.

Re: Facts about throwing good parties

#279

Post by louistsi »

andreareina wrote: post #189
bigstrat2003 wrote: post #175

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Agreed that spaghetti sauce doesn't have to be tomato based. Just olive oil doesn't cut it, though - you need more than that.

Buttered noodles are good, I have no a priori reason that simple oil wouldn't be also.

Butter emulsifies into a sauce just from the residual heat of the spaghetti (and some mechanical action - stirring, pan flip, etc)

Oil needs a bit more help, otherwise it's just grease on noodles. The starchy water the pasta was cooked in can do most of the heavy lifting there, but the addition of garlic helps too.

Re: Facts about throwing good parties

#280

Post by bayindirh »

unnouinceput wrote: post #136
drmpeg wrote: post #69

Earlier quoted context omitted.

When I worked at LSI Logic in the 2000's, there were a lot of young Europeans (mostly Italian) on the staff. They had rented a house in Palo Alto which was affectionately called "The Pleasure Lounge". It was just one of those houses that had the awesome party vibe. The only rule was that if you had to puke, you had to go in the back yard and do it in front of the Mother of Mary statue. The best part was if you made i…

Spaghetti without tomato sauce? That's like pissing in the morning without farting. Sure, it'll get the main job done but it's not the same pure pleasure.

I eat spaghetti completely plain. Pot to plate, directly.
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