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The year I didn't survive

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Re: The year I didn't survive

#271

Post by sterasody »

In January 2022, my mother died in the hospital. At the time, she had severe dementia and COPD. I moved back to take care of her, but I also lost my job. The stress was insurmountable: caregiving, sleep deprivation, and poor financial condition. It's like I used up all my energy at that time, just to fight the inevitable.

It's been three years and now I can manage my life on a certain level. But all those unsightly, dark struggles still haunt me. I never overcome them. Deep down I know, I'm a runaway, forever.

Re: The year I didn't survive

#272

Post by danparsonson »

jodrellblank wrote: post #241
tombert wrote: post #19

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> I'm truly sorry for all that you've been through and I hope you find comfort. Reading through your other post it seems likely to me that nothing you said or did could have made any difference. Yeah I know, that's not really why I feel guilty, at least not exactly. I feel guilty because I noticed signs of someone who was suicidal, and explicitly chose to not do anything. Even if nothing would have changed, I still t…

> " I mean, I realize that no good comes from feeling bad about myself over it " I have listened to a lot of Dr David Burns' podcasts[1] (and recommend them) and there is a relevant part here which I will try to explain enough to tempt you to look at it more, in the hope it helps[2]. He observed that patients came asking him to make their bad feelings go away but the more he tried, the more they held onto the bad fee…

Not the OP, but that is a really interesting perspective, thank you for sharing it.

Re: The year I didn't survive

#273

Post by ErigmolCt »

bitexploder wrote: post #143
ErigmolCt wrote: post #78

Earlier quoted context omitted.

The sheer intensity of being in constant survival mode for someone you love, especially in such high-stakes moments, doesn't just fade once the crisis is over. It leaves something behind, or maybe takes something away. I don't know if healing looks like "going back to who we were" or if it's more about figuring out who we are now, with everything we've carried

It is also important to realize that the past does not exist, not really. You get to decide, every day, who you are. It is the simplest and hardest thing.

I think we do get to decide, but the weight of what we've lived through shapes those decisions in ways we don't always see

Re: The year I didn't survive

#275

Post by sgseliger »

trogdor wrote: post #187
smackeyacky wrote: post #136

Earlier quoted context omitted.

The only measure for love is loss

I don’t understand that at all. Would you explain what you mean?

I can take a crack. This is Jake's brother, Sam. The Japanese poet Yakamochi wrote:

We were together Only a little while And we believed our love Would last a thousand years.

Re: The year I didn't survive

#276

Post by krageon »

mattgreenrocks wrote: post #255
krageon wrote: post #253

Earlier quoted context omitted.

The entire point of clinical depression is that it's not environmental, it's intrinsic. Yes, this means it won't change - that's why antidepressants exist. It's why you should see a therapist for it, and should stop listening to people implying you can just eat different or whatever. This knowledge sucks, but you trying to keep that a secret and shaming someone into silence isn't helping.

> The entire point of clinical depression is that it's not environmental, it's intrinsic. Yes, this means it won't change Wrong. I lost at least a decade of really great years to this belief. It's bullshit. I've made huge strides in my "clinical" depression despite my environment not markedly improving. I did, however, improve myself enough to recognize and stop maladaptive behaviors. It's hard as hell to change your…

If you can change it with your environment, you were misdiagnosed
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