271–280 of 373 posts
My best dating apps lately have been Trader Joe's and Ducky's Car Wash. I wear aloha shirts every day, and nearly every time I go to TJ's, someone asks me where they can find a particular item. It may be a guy or a gal, but I am always happy to help a neighbor find what they need. That is not the reason I wear aloha shirts. I just love these shirts! Every spring I get the Cooke Street shirts at Costco, one of each ne…
My best dating apps lately have been Trader Joe's and Ducky's Car Wash. I wear aloha shirts every day, and nearly every time I go to TJ's, someone asks me where they can find a particular item. It may be a guy or a gal, but I am always happy to help a neighbor find what they need. That is not the reason I wear aloha shirts. I just love these shirts! Every spring I get the Cooke Street shirts at Costco, one of each ne…
Apparently you are good at wearing aloha shirts and finding products. ¯ \ _ ( ツ ) _ / ¯
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Don't get a professional headshot, of course! But you absolutely should have someone who knows how to make you look as good as possible in a natural environment. You should also have a woman friend critically evaluate your profile. (If you don't have a friend you trust, you should first make sure you can make trusted friends with women who will tell you the truth.)
There should be an app where you can find a woman friend to assess your pictures for a dating app.
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Not completely true. Most men are not disgusted by a lesbian couple. I don’t mean just men that fetishize about it. But many are disgusted or at least discomforted by seeing gay men being romantic. Thought experiment: if a wife in a heterosexual marriage told her husband that she previously had relationships with women, I know many men (including me) who would just shrug and move on and not really think about it. On…
Silly question, but on that last point, why? (I can't imagine, but I'm unimaginative.)
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Most people (all sexes and genders) are bad at handling rejection, period. It’s why online dating is popular in general—a rejection over a digital medium is a lot less intimidating and less confrontational than the same in person.
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Equal parts fascinating and dystopian. I'm even more convinced now that online dating has reached a local optima, but eventually someone is going to find a solution that is less shallow and predatory and blow it out of the water.
Living by yourself is becoming increasingly regular and marriage is sharply declining amongst people who didn’t attend college. I don’t think software is gonna fix this.
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If you’re good looking, you’re not going to be wasting time on apps These days, saying hi seems to be risky for more reasons than rejection. Maybe more so if you’re not good looking. Hence the apps
> These days, saying hi seems to be risky for more reasons than rejection. Maybe more so if you’re not good looking. Hence the apps Its actually not, and that so many guys believe that just leaves the field unguarded What women say online about not wanting to be approached practically anywhere is a vocal minority, and other women don't even see these conversations Positive interactions with men are not even categoriz…
This applies to when you approach girls cold. If you're really hot it's a different game, girls will just give you that look when you're walking around on the street, at the mall, etc, and if you walk up and say hi to them they will fuck you if you play it cool at all.
When you have unlimited options, and a potentially better one is just a swipe away, people become disposable. Fuck or not fuck. Hot or not. Bang or pass. Where in the past someone might tolerate an insignificant quirk someone has, nowadays such a thing is often all that it takes to ghost and keep looking.
The users that get a lot of matches often put in zero effort into talking. They expect you to do all the conversation, and often act uninterested, if you ever get a reply after the match at all. Matching and never getting a reply after contact is more common than not, regardless of how much thought and time is put into the first message.
Profiles often read more like a list of demands, a quota that must be reached before you'll even be considered worthy. This is true for all the genders.
"Make me laugh" is a demand that I've seen on countless profiles. Entertain me monkey, make me laugh. So many "Make me laugh"s that I've started to wonder if most of the profiles I see are actually bot/scammer accounts, because so many of them have slight variations of the same exact profile bios. AI is only going to make that shit show worse, and I'm sure many people are already trying to wine and dine an AI profile and have no clue.
Let's also not forget about the clear "looking for a greencard" mail order bride profiles, and the weird as fuck profiles where each picture has a child as the focus of every picture, very intentionally so, in a way that I can't quantify but when you run across them, it just feels off, weird, saying something without saying something.
Dating apps are all exactly the same anymore. Same fake profiles. Same gamification of attraction that you have to pay to win or have to grind every day against those who do.
Dating apps are not there to match people. That would put them out of business. They are there to extract funds from wallets while keeping you hopeful that your perfect 10 is one more premium teir up the chain, one more swipe away, one more billing cycle in the future.
> More than 50% of men just never receive a like, and never means maybe 2 or 3 likes in the lifespan of several weeks Half the user base are patsies is basically the fundamental design.
if women use 4 criteria (face, body, money, iq) with a strict cutoff of even 55th percentile, they will reduce their like ratio to 4%. (0.45 ^ 4 =0.04)
Men are using only 2 criteria (face and body) to get to 25% like ratio: need 50th percentile on both: (0.5 ^ 2 = 0.25)
Funny thing is that when dating apps used to be "browse profiles, send message", nobody had to debate inner workings. Users could self select people of interest, send them a message directly, and know there'd be a very good chance that their profile/message would at least be seen. Issue today is that apps control visibility, both in terms of profiles and likes. I've tried Hinge a few times. Did like a 4 month initial…
I think Hinge was better when it was new. Probably people who try a new, non-sleazy dating app early on are more serious about meeting someone and more active, so you get more and better matches. One problem I’ve realized lately is that a lot of people are on dating apps because they feel like they have to be to meet someone, but they don’t actually enjoy chatting online and may not even be very good at it. Apps prob…
I would have a 2-week rule: If we didn't meet in person (or setup something in the future) within 2 weeks, I would move on.
This helped filter out the people that weren't interested in actually meeting.