McClelland’s Three Needs Theory: Power, Achievement, and Affiliation.
I had suffered from this until i realized that my main motivation (learned from all my experiences in the past) for everything i do is Affiliation.
And more or less what is written here "I’ll never get anywhere if I’m paralyzed by the fear of what others might think. It’s time to put that aside and focus on my own growth." is what helped me get some distance to what others may think.
Procrastination and the fear of not being good enough
271–280 of 284 posts
Re: Procrastination and the fear of not being good enough
#272I have to remind myself procrastination is a fear problem and not an ability problem. Asking for help. Fear of getting more stuff to do. It prevents me from getting a sh*tty first draft down and from that. ONly thing I have found is like body doubling even in the form of coffee shop and people not even doing. I think there are frameworkds too. It is just sometimes fear can preventing using the many tools. Also a plan of "What does done look like". Great topic.
Re: Procrastination and the fear of not being good enough
#273All I can say is dear god am I in this post or what.
Re: Procrastination and the fear of not being good enough
#274Earlier quoted context omitted.
I'll bite, and I'll be honest. I had similar results with: 600 micrograms of LSD completely alone in very a very secluded forest completely alone with a bug net, sleeping bag and basic food. About 24 hours. Motorcycling home in the morning, I wondered if I was the last human on earth... until I saw someone 30 minutes into the ride.
There's nothing to bite. GP can provide insight into how his supposed wisdom can be obtained or not. We've all heard about psychedelics at this point. Surely, if that's all it is, then GP would simply say so.
I bet that's what it is, and they are either being gatekeepers or subscribe to "XYZ for me and not for thee."
Re: Procrastination and the fear of not being good enough
#275Earlier quoted context omitted.
I think it would be really hard to understand without experiencing it. But I will write down anyway. So before dilution I had this strong idea of who I was. I had this back story. There were certain things I do. And certain things I don't do. I used to judge everyone. I had a very high opinion about myself and used to constantly do or find things to validate that. Now I don't have a story in which I live on. Each and…
> Now I don't have a story in which I live on. Lately, I've had this intuition that we change by sort of tricking ourselves. The mechanism for that change is by settling on like this one kind of character, like someone out of a movie that’s playing in your head, and acting like that person. Then, as time passes, we simply forget who we were before we started acting and the only way we know how to act is as this one c…
This sounds a lot like Existentialist philosopher Jean Paul Sartre’s concept of living/acting “in bad faith.” You might be interested to read more about it: https://philosophybreak.com/articles/sartre-waiter-bad-faith...
Re: Procrastination and the fear of not being good enough
#276Earlier quoted context omitted.
> I feel like I trick myself all the time - to guide myself towards becoming what I want to be This is the central principle of human psychology and interpersonal behavior, IMO. Kurt Vonnegut nailed it: “We are what we pretend to be, so we must be very careful about what we pretend to be” That racist jerk? He’s probably not really a racist jerk, he’s just pretending to be one to fuck with people. Except! That is no d…
I agree. I've been interested in how the stories we consume, whether presented to us by ourselves or others, affect our personalities. Thank you for pointing me to Vonnegut. One thing I feel is often overlooked in this conversation are our physical urges, specifically the ones motivating us to action that is different from what the 'character' we want to be would do. That adds noise to our personality, and widens the…
Physical urges can be considered some form of "subconscious" narrative (or even raw sensory narrative, e.g. hunger), while the "character we see ourselves as" is the more conscious narrative. The gap between these two reveals how latent, subconscious trauma can affect our emotions and desires, in the "Jungian shadow" sense. The conscious narrative is easier to manipulate, while the unconscious narrative is harder to, requiring "shadow work" as Jung called it.
Re: Procrastination and the fear of not being good enough
#277Earlier quoted context omitted.
It's pretty sad you can't respect this person's privacy. There's nothing sad about it and, judging by GP's writing, the concern isn't privacy. I didn't ask for your opinions on how GP supposedly got this experience, I asked GP. His post comes off as outright fiction or condescending virtue signaling. So does yours, and nobody even asked for your input.
I don't want to say explicitly what I did because I think it's the wrong way to approach spirituality and I would not recommend it to anyone else. I barely survived and took a lot of time to reintegrate to daily life. I suffered and my parents suffered for some time because of it. I was depressed for months. I was naive to do something like that without enough research. Also as Jung said unearned wisdom can be danger…
Also as Jung said unearned wisdom can be dangerous.
You are absolutely insufferable. This all reeks of ego.
Just don't bring it up if you're not willing to openly discuss how you got there. Not that I believe you, anyway, of course.
Re: Procrastination and the fear of not being good enough
#278I suffered from this. The issue is the ego. Ego has a lot of ideas about itself and others. Ego has such high opinion about itself it only can do great work. Which prevents it from doing anything. It's kind of a way of avoiding failures. Because failures will break the grant ideas about himself OP has created. I accidentally went through a spiritual awakening which diluted ego. I have no problem in doing any kind of…
This speaks volumes for me. I always wondered how as a kid I would bust my face until I can be good at the hardest video games because those happened to be purchased as a present or from myself. And also I have font memories of my first IT job building software for work and would make something working in a few hours. And my conclusion so far is: standards. I didn't had standards of what constitutes "fair difficulty"…
The video game example resonates. I realized recently that I load up walkthroughs by default. Before I’ve even turned the game on, I’m already following someone else’s ideas of best practice.
I think it comes from a misplaced belief about saving time and optimizing for “best” solutions. Taking a less optimal path is scary, even in a game with 0 real world consequences. I’ll consider that next time.
Re: Procrastination and the fear of not being good enough
#279My personal opinion is that the procrastination the guy is experiencing is due to an underlying mental health challenge
Re: Procrastination and the fear of not being good enough
#280How do you eat an elephant? Small bites. When everything seems like a elephant... start with small bites. And get a good way into the elephant before you start measuring how well you are doing the eating.
I never liked that joke. Obviously, as an individual, you can't eat an elephant in small bites, as (assuming it's dead) it will start spoiling very soon after you started biting into it (and if it's still alive, you might have an even bigger problem).
So the actual solution would probably involve a lot of logistical planning and preparation on how you would carve it efficiently and then refrigerate and/or distribute all the pieces.
Not doing so, and only thinking one bite at a time, would be a massive waste of the elephant.